with a frog on his head.

"What's going on here?" asked the barman.

"Don't ask me" said the frog. "He put me there."


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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The man goes back to the bar and asks the barman if he can use the pub 
piano.
When he sits down he puts the frog on the keyboard and it commences to 
play a Chopin nocturne.
“That’s marvellous.” Said the barman. “Can I book you for Friday night?”
“Wait until tomorrow.” The man said.
On the morrow he arrived with the frog and a toad. The frog played and 
the toad sang, My way.
That is unbelievable, quoth the publican.
Yes, said the man, it is. But it is a bit of a cheat. The frog is a 
ventriloquist.


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On 29-4-2017 19:55, Stephen wrote:
> The man goes back to the bar and asks the barman if he can use the pub
> piano.
> When he sits down he puts the frog on the keyboard and it commences to
> play a Chopin nocturne.
> “That’s marvellous.” Said the barman. “Can I book you for Friday night?”
> “Wait until tomorrow.” The man said.
> On the morrow he arrived with the frog and a toad. The frog played and
> the toad sang, My way.
> That is unbelievable, quoth the publican.
> Yes, said the man, it is. But it is a bit of a cheat. The frog is a
> ventriloquist.
>
>

Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)

-- 
Thomas

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On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:

>>
>
> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>

That's a question I never answer. ;-)

But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.

iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer 
was telling pub jokes.

Here is one of mine.

A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

[It was an iron bar.]

We need more traffic.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On 30-4-2017 10:03, Stephen wrote:
> On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>
>>>
>>
>> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>>
>
> That's a question I never answer. ;-)
>
> But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.
>
> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
> was telling pub jokes.
>
> Here is one of mine.
>
> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>
> [It was an iron bar.]
>
> We need more traffic.
>

What would he have said if it had been an Iron Lady? ;-)

[not very good, I know, but the best I can do]

More traffic? we can ban traffic lights at this moment and organise 
off-topic (or other pov-related) street races...

-- 
Thomas

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On 4/30/2017 12:13 PM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
> On 30-4-2017 10:03, Stephen wrote:
>> On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>>
>>>>
>>>
>>> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>>>
>>
>> That's a question I never answer. ;-)
>>
>> But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.
>>
>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
>> was telling pub jokes.
>>
>> Here is one of mine.
>>
>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>>
>> [It was an iron bar.]
>>
>> We need more traffic.
>>
>
> What would he have said if it had been an Iron Lady? ;-)
>
> [not very good, I know, but the best I can do]
>
You really don't want to know. But it goes something like this:

See you hen.
Whack!


> More traffic? we can ban traffic lights at this moment and organise
> off-topic (or other pov-related) street races...
>


Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. 
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when 
a loud cried out:
"Jesus is watching you."
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In 
a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's 
your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot 
named you Clarence?"
"The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On 30-4-2017 13:29, Stephen wrote:
> On 4/30/2017 12:13 PM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>> On 30-4-2017 10:03, Stephen wrote:
>>> On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>>>>
>>>
>>> That's a question I never answer. ;-)
>>>
>>> But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.
>>>
>>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
>>> was telling pub jokes.
>>>
>>> Here is one of mine.
>>>
>>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>>>
>>> [It was an iron bar.]
>>>
>>> We need more traffic.
>>>
>>
>> What would he have said if it had been an Iron Lady? ;-)
>>
>> [not very good, I know, but the best I can do]
>>
> You really don't want to know. But it goes something like this:
>
> See you hen.
> Whack!
>
>
>> More traffic? we can ban traffic lights at this moment and organise
>> off-topic (or other pov-related) street races...
>>
>
>
> Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
> He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when
> a loud cried out:
> "Jesus is watching you."
> Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
> "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
> The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In
> a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
> "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
> "Yes", said the parrot.
> The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's
> your name?"
> "Clarence," said the bird.
> "That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
> named you Clarence?"
> "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.
>

I love this one! :-)

-- 
Thomas

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On 5/1/2017 7:45 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>> Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
>> He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when
>> a loud cried out:
>> "Jesus is watching you."
>> Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
>> "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
>> The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In
>> a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
>> "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
>> "Yes", said the parrot.
>> The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's
>> your name?"
>> "Clarence," said the bird.
>> "That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
>> named you Clarence?"
>> "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.
>>
>
> I love this one! :-)

I am still giggling when I think about it.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

Two guys walk into a bar.  The third one ducked.

Jim



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

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On Mon, 01 May 2017 11:05:00 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 7:45 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>>> Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was
>>> empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his
>>> tracks when a loud cried out:
>>> "Jesus is watching you."
>>> Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
>>> "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
>>> The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically.
>>> In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
>>> "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
>>> "Yes", said the parrot.
>>> The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot:
>>> "What's your name?"
>>> "Clarence," said the bird.
>>> "That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
>>> named you Clarence?"
>>> "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.
>>>
>>>
>> I love this one! :-)
> 
> I am still giggling when I think about it.

LOL



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message