You walk into somebody's office to say hi and have a friendly chat. You 
discover that the person in question is actually quietly crying.

What do you do?

1. Attempt to do the whole comforting / supportive trip.

2. Bugger off and leave them in peace.



Obviously the answer depends on how much you like the person. We can 
assume by the fact that you were making a social call in the first place 
that you like this person.

Similarly, it depends on how well you know the person. Since I don't 
honestly know Cute QA Girl very well at all, I opted for option #2. I 
did give very serious considering to going back later to see if she was 
OK, and point out that I would have offered her option #1 - but this 
didn't actually occur.

I did, however, speak to her later that day. She actually *invited* me 
into her office, no less. (Usually I don't get to have a conversation 
with her unless *I* am the one who starts it. It's most unusual her for 
to initiate one on purpose. Unless her PC is ****ed...) I couldn't begin 
to speculate what upset her that morning, but when I spoke to her a few 
hours later, you'd never know anything had happened.

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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On Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:15:59 +0100, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:

>What do you do?

Personally I would ask them if they are all right and if there is
anything I could do. Or words to that effect. But then I can be gabby
:)
But option 2 might be the best especially if she did not want it known
that she was upset. A difficult call but from what followed after I
think that you did the right thing, for you.
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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Invisible wrote:
> You walk into somebody's office to say hi and have a friendly chat. You 
> discover that the person in question is actually quietly crying.
> 
> What do you do?
> 
> 1. Attempt to do the whole comforting / supportive trip.
> 
> 2. Bugger off and leave them in peace.

Personally, I would walk by and try to make eye contact.

If she doesn't look up, then she wants to be left alone... that is, 
assuming she is not a shy person TBW.

If she looks up, but makes no attempt to to hide her current state of 
emotion, then I would ask if she was alright in a soft, but manly tone 
befitting a gentleman.

If she looked up and immediately changed her expression to hide her 
turmoil, then I would give a friendly (but open ended) hello.

Sam

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Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:

> What do you do?

Shoot the hostage?

> I did, however, speak to her later that day. She actually *invited* me
> into her office, no less. (Usually I don't get to have a conversation
> with her unless *I* am the one who starts it. It's most unusual her for
> to initiate one on purpose. Unless her PC is ****ed...) I couldn't begin
> to speculate what upset her that morning, but when I spoke to her a few
> hours later, you'd never know anything had happened.

I was just dying to quote Keanu Reeves, but I should at least answer the
question.  I'd have done the same.  Be polite; respect her privacy; and figure
in hindsight that I should have said something--anything.  But maybe it's best
to assume that if you're not too well acquainted, perhaps she'd rather not
divulge all the details of her personal life.  Certainly safer.

 - Ricky

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>> What do you do?
> 
> Shoot the hostage?

LOL! Nice...

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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Invisible wrote:
> You walk into somebody's office to say hi and have a friendly chat. You 
> discover that the person in question is actually quietly crying.
> 
> What do you do?
> 
> 1. Attempt to do the whole comforting / supportive trip.
> 
> 2. Bugger off and leave them in peace.
> 
> 
> 
> Obviously the answer depends on how much you like the person. We can 
> assume by the fact that you were making a social call in the first place 
> that you like this person.
> 

If you have already started talking, state something like 'sorry, I can 
come back later'...  That gives her the option


> Similarly, it depends on how well you know the person. Since I don't 
> honestly know Cute QA Girl very well at all, I opted for option #2. I 
> did give very serious considering to going back later to see if she was 
> OK, and point out that I would have offered her option #1 - but this 
> didn't actually occur.
> 


> I did, however, speak to her later that day. She actually *invited* me 
> into her office, no less. (Usually I don't get to have a conversation 
> with her unless *I* am the one who starts it. It's most unusual her for 
> to initiate one on purpose. Unless her PC is ****ed...) I couldn't begin 
> to speculate what upset her that morning, but when I spoke to her a few 
> hours later, you'd never know anything had happened.
> 

Did she notice you in her office?
If she did, then the next time you see her you could have apologized for 
walking in on her.  But I wouldn't go beyond that unless she took it there.

If she did not, then do not say anything.
OTOH you can also play this as fully honest and tell her you saw her - 
but only for her information.  This can build a lot of trust, but is 
dangerous and could explode if not approached tactfully.


Anyhow, good thinking on not moving in on her emotional state.



Tom

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Tom Austin wrote:

> Did she notice you in her office?

For sure. At least, when I asked if she was OK, she quietly shook her 
head. And I muttered something about "I'll come back later".

> If she did, then the next time you see her you could have apologized for 
> walking in on her.  But I wouldn't go beyond that unless she took it there.

OK. Fair enough...

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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On Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:58:07 +0100, Invisible wrote:

>> Did she notice you in her office?
> 
> For sure. At least, when I asked if she was OK, she quietly shook her
> head. And I muttered something about "I'll come back later".

That's the sort of thing I'd be inclined to do as well - those types of 
situations are never easy for anyone to deal with (I have a coworker who, 
the end of December, lost her grandson in an automobile accident - she 
found out while in the office).

Jim

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