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"Invisible" <voi### [at] dev null> wrote in message
news:496f0010$1@news.povray.org...
> St. wrote:
>> Welcome to the real world. ;)
>
> I think "welcome to the desert of the real" would be a more appropriate
> quotation from that film.
>
>> Don't let it get you down, and keep trying. Actually, it probably isn't
>> anything you've done, a *lot* of companies out there are making snap
>> decisions about how they operate and how they're going to budget just to
>> keep going in the present financial climate. They may well be going down
>> the pan since you spotted them a couple of months ago.
>
> I don't know... I actually found a company that's recruiting rather than
> firing. And not just one vacancy, but about 30 or so of them. And *all* of
> them targetting graduates with no experience. And in a high-tech company
> that seems to be doing interesting technical work. And I spent weeks
> trying to build a killer CV, and fussing over the best way to put myself
> across... and they decided in a mere 240 seconds that they weren't going
> to hire me.
Yes, recruiting 30 or so *two months* ago. It's a different story
*today*.
>
> I don't think any human being even looked at my CV. I think they did an
> automated search of the electronic details I submitted and their computer
> failed to find the magic keyword it was looking for, so they sent me an
> autogenerated rejection email.
>
> I'm seriously considering either replying to their email or phoning them
> to enquire why they're not interested. I though I'd actually be quite
> useful to them, given what I know and what I'm capable (and motivated) of
> learning.
Phone them. Ask for an interview, and if they say no, at least you gave
it your best shot.
>
> On the other hand, maybe I should just face facts and accept that it is
> essentially pointless for me to continue to remain alive. Maybe I should
> just go throw myself off a tall building and get it over with. Then I
> wouldn't have to put up with this suck-ass job that I hate, surrounded by
> people who don't want me around, being paid peanuts, living in a world
> that is completely indifferent to my pain and misery. Seriously, what do I
> have to live for? Is my world ever going to be better than this? 30 years'
> prior experience suggests "no"...
Jeez Andrew, you need to stop thinking like that. Seriously.
~Steve~
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Stephen wrote:
> On Thu, 15 Jan 2009 09:21:20 +0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
>
>> I'm seriously considering either replying to their email or phoning them
>> to enquire why they're not interested. I though I'd actually be quite
>> useful to them, given what I know and what I'm capable (and motivated)
>> of learning.
>
> Do it!
> You have nothing to lose.
Except my sanity?
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>> I don't know... I actually found a company that's recruiting rather than
>> firing. And not just one vacancy, but about 30 or so of them. And *all* of
>> them targetting graduates with no experience. And in a high-tech company
>> that seems to be doing interesting technical work. And I spent weeks
>> trying to build a killer CV, and fussing over the best way to put myself
>> across... and they decided in a mere 240 seconds that they weren't going
>> to hire me.
>
> Yes, recruiting 30 or so *two months* ago. It's a different story
> *today*.
There website still lists a huge heap of vacancies. I think some of them
are even new ones that weren't there before. [I can't be sure, there's
too many of them.]
> Phone them. Ask for an interview, and if they say no, at least you gave
> it your best shot.
As I say, they don't actually give a phone number for job enquiries. I
guess I could reply to their email though. (Assuming the address is
real, and not just some automaton.)
>> On the other hand, maybe I should just face facts and accept that it is
>> essentially pointless for me to continue to remain alive. Maybe I should
>> just go throw myself off a tall building and get it over with. Then I
>> wouldn't have to put up with this suck-ass job that I hate, surrounded by
>> people who don't want me around, being paid peanuts, living in a world
>> that is completely indifferent to my pain and misery. Seriously, what do I
>> have to live for? Is my world ever going to be better than this? 30 years'
>> prior experience suggests "no"...
>
> Jeez Andrew, you need to stop thinking like that. Seriously.
Yeah, well, when decade after decade elapses, and despite your efforts
you experience nothing but failure after failure after failure, it's
extremely hard to stay positive, much less motivated.
Seriously, I keep acting like I'm some highly intelligent dude who
*deserves* to be in a technical job. But what evidence is that actually
based on? I have the lowest IQ on the whole of the POV-Ray server. I
nearly failed my degree. I'm supposedly an ace programmer but I can't do
either C or C++, the languages used for 98% of all computer programming.
I've been coding for decades, but I have not one single finished program
to show for all my efforts. I'm supposedly an excellent writer, but I
can't write reports. Who the hell am I trying to kid? I'm nobody!
My entire life thus far has been a near-complete waste of time. No
matter what I do, I never succeed at anything. I'm hardly ever happy,
just constantly depressed. What do I have to live for? What is there for
me to look forward to? Why should I even go on?? Why bother being alive
if you can't have happiness?
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On Thu, 15 Jan 2009 10:12:30 +0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
>> Do it!
>> You have nothing to lose.
>
>Except my sanity?
Fair point but you must keep on trying. Don't take it personally (I know that is
hard).
Although your sister might be right about them wanting recent graduates as they
will be cheaper and it is a cruel world.
--
Regards
Stephen
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On Thu, 15 Jan 2009 10:25:54 +0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
>
>Seriously, I keep acting like I'm some highly intelligent dude who
>*deserves* to be in a technical job. But what evidence is that actually
>based on? I have the lowest IQ on the whole of the POV-Ray server. I
>nearly failed my degree.
I wouldn't call a 2:1 nearly failing and you got your degree which is more than
I ever did.
>I'm supposedly an ace programmer but I can't do
>either C or C++, the languages used for 98% of all computer programming.
>I've been coding for decades, but I have not one single finished program
>to show for all my efforts. I'm supposedly an excellent writer, but I
>can't write reports.
It is hard to finish projects when you don't have the motivation, we all know
that. Who said that you were an excellent writer and why can't you write
reports? That is something that comes with practice and tutelage.
>Who the hell am I trying to kid? I'm nobody!
If you are nobody then why does everyone here spend their time with you?
>My entire life thus far has been a near-complete waste of time. No
>matter what I do, I never succeed at anything. I'm hardly ever happy,
>just constantly depressed. What do I have to live for? What is there for
>me to look forward to? Why should I even go on?? Why bother being alive
>if you can't have happiness?
Jam tomorrow!
Keep plugging away, if you think that your life is hard then think of people
living in shanty towns, the third world or Gaza.
Don't despair things can get better only if you don't give up.
--
Regards
Stephen
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Stephen wrote:
> I wouldn't call a 2:1 nearly failing and you got your degree which is more than
> I ever did.
Every term my grades got lower and lower. It was just a matter of time
before I started failing modules right, left and center. Fortunately the
course finished shortly before I arrived at that stage.
Looking at the transcript, most of my grades were very low, except for a
few A+ and A* grades for subjects that had some actual technical
content. I guess that should be encouraging... except that these days
employers seem to care about project management skills far more than
technical ability. (And social skills rank higher yet.)
> It is hard to finish projects when you don't have the motivation, we all know
> that.
Yeah, well, employers want finished items. They aren't impressed if you
don't finish a project because you "got bored of it".
> Who said that you were an excellent writer and why can't you write
> reports? That is something that comes with practice and tutelage.
People here keep trying to tell me I'm an excellent writing and I should
go into technical writing and all this kind of thing. But then, some of
these same people seem to delight in repeatedly pointing out the
(self-evident) fact that I can't spell. And the number of reports at uni
that were down-marked for being "poorly written" is staggering.
>> Who the hell am I trying to kid? I'm nobody!
>
> If you are nobody then why does everyone here spend their time with you?
I'm really not sure sometimes. Maybe because I'm amusing or something?
> Don't despair things can get better only if you don't give up.
I don't know if you'll understand this, but... when failure is all
you've ever experienced in life, it can be really, *really* hard to
believe that success is actually possible. Everything I have ever
experienced tells me that failure is inevitable. It's hard-wired into my
very notion of what the real world "is". It's very hard to see past
that. (No matter how logically "obvious" it may be.)
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:496f0f33$1@news.povray.org...
>> Yes, recruiting 30 or so *two months* ago. It's a different story
>> *today*.
>
> There website still lists a huge heap of vacancies. I think some of them
> are even new ones that weren't there before. [I can't be sure, there's too
> many of them.]
>
>> Phone them. Ask for an interview, and if they say no, at least you
>> gave it your best shot.
>
> As I say, they don't actually give a phone number for job enquiries. I
> guess I could reply to their email though. (Assuming the address is real,
> and not just some automaton.)
Have you done any research on them? If they are as big as they sound,
then there is a phone number there, find it.
>> Jeez Andrew, you need to stop thinking like that. Seriously.
>
> Yeah, well, when decade after decade elapses, and despite your efforts you
> experience nothing but failure after failure after failure, it's extremely
> hard to stay positive, much less motivated.
>
> Seriously, I keep acting like I'm some highly intelligent dude who
> *deserves* to be in a technical job. But what evidence is that actually
> based on? I have the lowest IQ on the whole of the POV-Ray server. I
> nearly failed my degree. I'm supposedly an ace programmer but I can't do
> either C or C++, the languages used for 98% of all computer programming.
> I've been coding for decades, but I have not one single finished program
> to show for all my efforts. I'm supposedly an excellent writer, but I
> can't write reports. Who the hell am I trying to kid? I'm nobody!
Don't be stupid. You're not a 'nobody'. You have everything going for
you, you're young, clever, and trust me, there's a good job waiting for you
out there somewhere.
>
> My entire life thus far has been a near-complete waste of time. No matter
> what I do, I never succeed at anything. I'm hardly ever happy, just
> constantly depressed. What do I have to live for? What is there for me to
> look forward to? Why should I even go on?? Why bother being alive if you
> can't have happiness?
You think your life has been a waste, you should try mine buddy. I'd
swap with you any day of the week. Seriously, over the last 7 or 8 years, my
life has been turned upside down, and so much so that I now live alone and
have to fend for myself. I've *never* been alone - never. It's hard, it's
boring, I find myself talking to myself just so I can practice speaking.
Yeah, seriously. I don't eat well, I have stress-induced psoriasis at the
moment which covers me from my shoulders up. I look like a lizard in the
mornings. In 2002, I had stress related alopecia - this was brought on after
I saved my wife's life. I had about 5 or 6 large bald patches and they
didn't quite meet, so imagine a bunch of fields with hedges dividing them,
the hedges being the hair that I still had, that's what I looked like. I had
to deal with people looking like that. Don't ask me how or why because I'm
not gonna say, but I've saved my wife's life twice now, and it's *the* most
scariest thing *ever*.
Yeah, so you go on about your crap, shitty life mate, I'm all ears.
~Steve~
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On Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:09:27 +0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
>
>Every term my grades got lower and lower. It was just a matter of time
>before I started failing modules right, left and center. Fortunately the
>course finished shortly before I arrived at that stage.
>
But you passed and got a 2:1 which is good so I don't believe you. What you said
is probably true insofar as could have got a first.
>Looking at the transcript, most of my grades were very low, except for a
>few A+ and A* grades for subjects that had some actual technical
>content. I guess that should be encouraging... except that these days
>employers seem to care about project management skills far more than
>technical ability. (And social skills rank higher yet.)
>
*Some* employers seem to care about project management skills far more than
technical ability but not all.
>> It is hard to finish projects when you don't have the motivation, we all know
>> that.
>
>Yeah, well, employers want finished items. They aren't impressed if you
>don't finish a project because you "got bored of it".
>
True, so stop reading comics online and spending hours playing games. Finish
something.
>> Who said that you were an excellent writer and why can't you write
>> reports? That is something that comes with practice and tutelage.
>
>People here keep trying to tell me I'm an excellent writing and I should
>go into technical writing and all this kind of thing.
I've not read any of your technical writing only your posts here and I can't
comment about that.
>But then, some of
>these same people seem to delight in repeatedly pointing out the
>(self-evident) fact that I can't spell. And the number of reports at uni
>that were down-marked for being "poorly written" is staggering.
>
People don't *delight* in pointing out that you can't spell, they are doing it
to help. I can't spell for toffee (I used to get the belt at school every week
for my spelling) so I almost always use a spell checker, for everything even
this. Appearances are important.
>>> Who the hell am I trying to kid? I'm nobody!
>>
>> If you are nobody then why does everyone here spend their time with you?
>
>I'm really not sure sometimes. Maybe because I'm amusing or something?
Yes you are amusing but in a good way. You are liked here and would be liked
elsewhere if you got the chance to start afresh.
>
>> Don't despair things can get better only if you don't give up.
>
>I don't know if you'll understand this, but... when failure is all
>you've ever experienced in life, it can be really, *really* hard to
>believe that success is actually possible. Everything I have ever
>experienced tells me that failure is inevitable. It's hard-wired into my
>very notion of what the real world "is". It's very hard to see past
>that. (No matter how logically "obvious" it may be.)
If I had a cure for depression I would be rich. Unfortunately I haven't. My
makeup is different so I can only sympathise and try to give advice and
encouragement.
Look, I've met you in the flesh and you are normal from the outside. Try to put
on a front and it will become second nature (I think and hope).
--
Regards
Stephen
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>> Every term my grades got lower and lower. It was just a matter of time
>> before I started failing modules right, left and center. Fortunately the
>> course finished shortly before I arrived at that stage.
>
> But you passed and got a 2:1 which is good so I don't believe you. What you said
> is probably true insofar as could have got a first.
Question: How rare is it to get a first?
I was under the impression that that's extremely rare, but that's only
based on hear-say.
> *Some* employers seem to care about project management skills far more than
> technical ability but not all.
Heh. I wish I could find an employer somewhere who actually cared about
my technical skills. In fact, I thought I *had*... but apparently not. :-(
>> Yeah, well, employers want finished items. They aren't impressed if you
>> don't finish a project because you "got bored of it".
>
> True, so stop reading comics online and spending hours playing games. Finish
> something.
I've tried to do that a couple of times. But... no finished product
here, eh? :-/
>> People here keep trying to tell me I'm an excellent writing and I should
>> go into technical writing and all this kind of thing.
>
> I've not read any of your technical writing only your posts here and I can't
> comment about that.
Well, Darren and Andrel seem to think I have excellent skills in this
direction... but as I say, nobody at uni was impressed.
> People don't *delight* in pointing out that you can't spell, they are doing it
> to help. I can't spell for toffee (I used to get the belt at school every week
> for my spelling) so I almost always use a spell checker, for everything even
> this. Appearances are important.
It just seems that every time I post some long and wordy post about
something, Warp replies with a 1-line reply saying "you spelt that
wrong". When I've just spent ages writing something, a meta-comment
about something that is both obvious and irrelevant isn't what I'm
really seeking.
>>>> Who the hell am I trying to kid? I'm nobody!
>>> If you are nobody then why does everyone here spend their time with you?
>> I'm really not sure sometimes. Maybe because I'm amusing or something?
>
> Yes you are amusing but in a good way. You are liked here and would be liked
> elsewhere if you got the chance to start afresh.
Well, if I ever get the chance to do that, maybe we'll see...
> If I had a cure for depression I would be rich. Unfortunately I haven't. My
> makeup is different so I can only sympathise and try to give advice and
> encouragement.
> Look, I've met you in the flesh and you are normal from the outside. Try to put
> on a front and it will become second nature (I think and hope).
I'm just really frustrated and upset right now. Hopefully I'll get over
it later.
My point is that knowing, rationally, that something is true doesn't
necessarily help you *believe* it. Ever tried rock climbing? Sure, I
*know* that nothing bad can possibly happen to me... but I'm still
pretty terrified, all the same! o_O
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>> As I say, they don't actually give a phone number for job enquiries. I
>> guess I could reply to their email though. (Assuming the address is real,
>> and not just some automaton.)
>
> Have you done any research on them? If they are as big as they sound,
> then there is a phone number there, find it.
There's a phone number for the sales department, and one for finance,
and one for marketing, but the one for HR specifically says on it "not
for job enquiries".
> Don't be stupid. You're not a 'nobody'. You have everything going for
> you, you're young, clever, and trust me, there's a good job waiting for you
> out there somewhere.
*sigh*
Yeah. There are friends too. And probably a girl. They're all out there
waiting for me, somewhere. I just wish I had any idea how in hell to
*find* all these things... :-(
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