 |
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On 7-6-2015 13:53, Orchid Win7 v1 wrote:
> On 05/06/2015 08:20 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>> Hopefully you still have a long life in front of you but it is wisdom to
>> realise that we are not eternal. In that sense, no life is wasted at all
>> and there is only the awareness and the (mild) regret that not
>> everything is possible (nor advisable). In the end, it is tending our
>> garden the best we can - and enjoying it of course. With the cumulation
>> of years, time speeds up indeed as suddenly you realise that only so
>> many years are left to you. It is a sobering thought but not necessarily
>> sad.
>
> I don't know. I still think of myself as a poor broke student. I've just
> got my first real paying job. I've just moved out of my mum's house into
> my first student flat. I'm just starting out in life...
>
> ...except it's not true. I'm 35 years old. I'm nearly at the end of my
> career. In a few years' time I'll be TOO OLD to have children. [Not that
> I want to, but you know.] When I look at a pretty girl, I suddenly
> realise she's ten if not twenty years younger than me.
>
> I just have an overwhelming feeling that it's all too late now. That the
> best years of my life are long over, and there's nothing I can do about
> it now.
>
> Still, at least I have 23,000 rep on StackOverflow, eh? :-|
I can sympathise with your feelings indeed but I think you are wrong, at
least where your outlook on life is concerned. Of course there is regret
for things in the past, opportunities not taken, (stupid) errors made,
fate which was not always kind (or so we think). We all have that (read
that little piece by A.L. Kennedy). But on the other hand, do not forget
what life has brought to you and what it has allowed you to become, not
in the least by your own endeavours too. From what I read about you
there is nothing to be ashamed of and you happen to be on the right
track. I can understand what you are saying because, at 35, you are
still at that junction point where many things still seem reachable
although the sense of time running out becomes more acute, and the
awareness grows that /all/ is not possible after all. Unfair? yes. Life
is not fair. There are, at each junction, choices to be made and
happily, with the growing number of years as wisdom (or insight, if you
will) increases, they become better focussed, better accepted, better
integrated. Remains the fact that we do not know where we are exactly
going (except for the end) but we are the captain of our own ship and we
have a (moral) inner dead reckoning compass by which to navigate by.
--
Thomas
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On 07/06/2015 12:53, Orchid Win7 v1 wrote:
> In a few years' time I'll be TOO OLD to have children.
There are tablets you can get for that, nowadays. ;-)
Maybe it is time for another change in your life.
I see a visit across the sea coming your way. Why not look around for a
new life at the same time.
--
Regards
Stephen
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On Sun, 07 Jun 2015 13:53:34 +0200, Orchid Win7 v1 <voi### [at] dev null> wrote:
> Still, at least I have 23,000 rep on StackOverflow, eh? :-|
http://programmers.stackexchange.com/questions/20407/will-high-reputation-in-stack-overflow-help-to-get-a-good-job
--
-Nekar Xenos-
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On Sun, 07 Jun 2015 12:46:53 +0100, Orchid Win7 v1 wrote:
> On 05/06/2015 06:14 AM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>
>> Very sorry to hear this, Andrew.
>
> Yeah. What else is there to say?
>
> Suffice it to say that I've never experienced death before. My grandad
> isn't dead of course - but he looks so frail now...
I know the feeling - went through that with my dad about 10 years ago.
>>> It's rather frightening to think that some day soon, it will be me
>>> sitting in that hospital bed, knowing that the end is near, and that
>>> there's nothing that anybody can do about it. Damn, I've wasted my
>>> life!
>>
>> Hopefully not next week. But as Stephen says, do things now that you
>> don't want to look back on and regret not doing.
>
> If life were that simple, I would have done these things already.
Well, of course life isn't simple, but it's simpler than most people
think it is. The thing is, you don't truly know that until you get
older. That's something I've learned probably over the last 10 or 15
years - I used to think the way you did - life is complicated.
It really isn't. Yes, you need money to do stuff, and yes, arranging
time off is a challenge.
I've got a coworker who's just getting started in her career - she's in
her mid-20s. Right now, she's touring Europe for a month. She's not
taking every day off - and is working while traveling, but she's having a
blast doing it. Her job lets her work from anywhere she can get an
Internet connection, so as she and her friends planned the trip, that was
one requirement they had for anywhere they stayed. They've found some
amazing places to stay (we had a video chat while she was in Andorra last
week) that aren't costing a lot of money.
She could have taken the attitude that "life's complicated" and "I can't
do that", but she didn't - she found a way to make the trip happen in a
way that's working for her, working for the company we work for, and
working for her friends on the trip with her.
> I don't know... now every time I feel slightly tired or my feed ache
> slightly or anything, I just feel like I'm completely falling apart.
> Like my youth is over and I'll never feel fit and healthy ever again...
Well, you're not. You're, what, 30-ish? You're still new to the game.
I know it feels like it (when I was 30, I used to get royally pissed off
at people older than me treating me like I was still a kid, and that I
had no experience. Now I'm in my mid-40's, and I try not to treat people
the way I felt I was treated, but it is actually not easy to want to
share experience. I know now that they were making it up as they went
along, just as I am now).
I have a new boss - she started two weeks ago. She asked me what I want
to do - if I've thought about 'x' in terms of career path. My answer was
that my career has been varied and pretty much has gone "where the wind
blows". I like learning new things, and I'm not risk-averse (but I also
am not careless about risks - they're always calculated risks, and
generally have paid off pretty well). But the thing I've learned is that
there comes a point where you have to stop thinking and calculating and
just do the thing that you're thinking about.
Can it blow up on you? Sure. That's sometimes what happens. When it
does, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over.
>>> The daft thing is... my grandfather himself seems to be the only
>>> person in the family who's *not* terribly upset about all this. For
>>> somebody who now can't do anything, he seems remarkably cheerful...
>>
>> That's not uncommon, actually.
>
> Hmm. He's probably just enjoying not doing the washing up ever day.
Could be, or it could be that he's reliving the good memories. My dad
did that a lot in his final years - it helped him deal with the fact that
sometimes he couldn't remember what he was working on.
> He may not be able to talk much, but he's still the cheeky old rascal
> he's always been. (Last time I visited, he wanted us to smuggle in a gin
> and tonic...)
Even though I don't know him, give him one from me, and raise a glass to
him in my absence. Sounds like an amazing guy. :)
Jim
--
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On Sun, 07 Jun 2015 12:39:53 +0100, Orchid Win7 v1 wrote:
> At the very least, I wasted ten years of my life at my last job.
When I got laid off, I had similar thoughts - I'd put 8 years into the
company itself, and another 9 years (at that point) as a volunteer in the
company's forums.
But that's not true. Don't fall for the 'sunk cost fallacy' when it
comes to employment.
Even if you don't realise it, you learned important things at your
previous job (as I recall, it was your first after University, wasn't it?
) - no, I can't tell you what those things were. That's something you'll
have to look for.
> I get
> the feeling it's time to leave my current one - but that would require
> finding somewhere else to go...
What gives you that feeling? You seem to be enjoying the work, and from
what I recall you writing, you get along with your coworkers and
management....
Jim
--
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
> I don't know. I still think of myself as a poor broke student. I've just
> got my first real paying job. I've just moved out of my mum's house into
> my first student flat. I'm just starting out in life...
>
> ...except it's not true. I'm 35 years old. I'm nearly at the end of my
> career.
Yes because everyone retires by 40.
> When I look at a pretty girl, I suddenly
> realise she's ten if not twenty years younger than me.
You never know, she might be interested in older men :-) I mean the one
10 years younger, 20 years younger is not a very smart idea.
> I just have an overwhelming feeling that it's all too late now. That the
> best years of my life are long over, and there's nothing I can do about
> it now.
Judging by what I saw/see of my parents, the best years of your life
start the day you retire. They have less "free" time than I do, and they
don't have a job to go to!
> Still, at least I have 23,000 rep on StackOverflow, eh? :-|
Looking back then, what else would you have rather have done with the
time you spent on there?
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On 07/06/15 13:31, Stephen wrote:
>
> I've not had that yet. Maybe Dr. John has. ;-)
>
Nope, though I have to admit that my nickname at work is 'The Old Man'.
I assume, of course, that they mean it respectfully.
John
--
Protect the Earth
It was not given to you by your parents
You hold it in trust for your children
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On 07/06/15 12:53, Orchid Win7 v1 wrote:
>
> ....except it's not true. I'm 35 years old. I'm nearly at the end of my
> career.
Not true at all. At that age, I was just starting in my present career;
IIRC, so was Stephen. You've got 30+ years of productive life ahead of
you and even more if you manage to get into consultancy work.
John
--
Protect the Earth
It was not given to you by your parents
You hold it in trust for your children
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On 08/06/2015 12:43, Doctor John wrote:
> On 07/06/15 12:53, Orchid Win7 v1 wrote:
>>
>> ....except it's not true. I'm 35 years old. I'm nearly at the end of my
>> career.
>
> Not true at all. At that age, I was just starting in my present career;
> IIRC, so was Stephen. You've got 30+ years of productive life ahead of
> you and even more if you manage to get into consultancy work.
>
Yes, I changed careers when I was 31 then again when I was 46.
--
Regards
Stephen
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
On 08/06/2015 12:38, Doctor John wrote:
> On 07/06/15 13:31, Stephen wrote:
>>
>> I've not had that yet. Maybe Dr. John has. ;-)
>>
>
> Nope, though I have to admit that my nickname at work is 'The Old Man'.
> I assume, of course, that they mean it respectfully.
>
Right you are skip. :-)
I forgot about the portrait you keep in your attic.
--
Regards
Stephen
Post a reply to this message
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
