Slime wrote:
>> At any rate, my point is that I live in a large urban area. It's not 
>> exactly "too small a town".
> 
> Are you taking advantage of it?
> 
> My advice, since this has worked fairly well for myself: Try to make friends 
> with some other single men your age who will push you to go places you 
> wouldn't normally go. If you already have friends like that (say, at work), 
> express interest in going out with them. Of course, you have to be willing 
> to do so if they invite you. If you're not willing (too shy), then you have 
> to remind yourself that it's a necessary step to improving the part of your 
> life that makes you unhappy.

But that's the fun thing, see? I don't know anybody who lives in my home 
town.

Well, except for the people I go dancing with. I keep trying to come up 
with a way to make use of that one, but I'm not getting very far. It 
seems that unlike me, most people have busy social lives with no room 
for a looser like me.

Post a reply to this message

>> It just seems everywhere I go, everybody else falls into a completely 
>> different age group to me.
> 
> Rule #1 : Never refuse friendship with someone because they are not a 
> young single hot girl.

Fair enough. But [for example] the people I go dancing with are all 
decades older than me, and we just have nothing in common. I try to find 
things to talk about, but it's really a struggle.

(Then again, finding anything to talk about is a struggle for me. I 
guess I'm just too damned boring.)

It just seems everywhere I do, I don't fit in. Hell, even my gaming 
clan; they're all gamers. I'm the only actual computer nerd.

> Rule #2 : Act with your friends in a way that would make you attractive 
> to girls.  Girls are not going to like you if your friends say to them 
> "he's really boring, he just moans about work and his life the whole 
> time".  If you are more positive then they will say "oh you should meet 
> Andrew, he's a really good guy". Maybe :-)

Maybe this is why I fail. I mean, let's face it, aside from being a nice 
guy with a good heart, I have absolutely no redeeming features. Why 
should anybody go to the bother of getting to know me? What's in it for 
them? It's not like there's anything worth-while about me...

> You might try joining some activity group to make new friends, some of 
> mine use this place in the UK:
> 
> http://www.spiceuk.com/home

It's worth a look if nothing else.

Post a reply to this message

> It just seems everywhere I do, I don't fit in. Hell, even my gaming clan; 
> they're all gamers. I'm the only actual computer nerd.

If you think you "don't fit in" just because you're a computer nerd and 
they're gamers, then sorry but you're never going to fit in anywhere unless 
you go to a computer nerd convention.  I guarantee that the number of people 
you will meet normally in your life (ie not by going to a convention or 
whatever) that want to talk about functional programming languages with you 
will be *tiny*.  There's nothing wrong with functional programming, it's 
just everyone has their own very specific interests, and if you rule out 
anyone else then you're going to be very lonely.

> Maybe this is why I fail. I mean, let's face it, aside from being a nice 
> guy with a good heart, I have absolutely no redeeming features. Why should 
> anybody go to the bother of getting to know me? What's in it for them? 
> It's not like there's anything worth-while about me...

Oh I'm sure there is, but if you keep telling everyone you meet that there 
isn't, then don't expect anyone to be at all interested in you.

Post a reply to this message

>> It just seems everywhere I do, I don't fit in. Hell, even my gaming 
>> clan; they're all gamers. I'm the only actual computer nerd.
> 
> If you think you "don't fit in" just because you're a computer nerd and 
> they're gamers, then sorry but you're never going to fit in anywhere.

Actually, when we're gaming, I think I more or less fit in. It's the 
face to face stuff where I don't get on so well. But some of the guys 
are quite fun; I guess you can't expect to get along with everybody.

What I can't figure out is this: I can't be the only person my age in 
the entire city of Milton Keynes. So where the *hell* are the rest of 
them? Presumably if I could find them, I'd get along with *some* of them...

> you're going to be very lonely.

Um... I already am?

>> Maybe this is why I fail. I mean, let's face it, aside from being a 
>> nice guy with a good heart, I have absolutely no redeeming features. 
>> Why should anybody go to the bother of getting to know me? What's in 
>> it for them? It's not like there's anything worth-while about me...
> 
> Oh I'm sure there is, but if you keep telling everyone you meet that 
> there isn't, then don't expect anyone to be at all interested in you.

Ever tried to convince somebody else of something you don't really 
believe yourself? It's kinda tricky. :-/

Post a reply to this message

Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
> Maybe this is why I fail. I mean, let's face it, aside from being a nice
> guy with a good heart, I have absolutely no redeeming features. Why
> should anybody go to the bother of getting to know me? What's in it for
> them? It's not like there's anything worth-while about me...

oh, no, NO, NOOO!!  not again that self-whipping time!!

Do you drink?  Beer at least?  Always a good bet for shy guys!  Learn the art of
drinking and you're set to go... :D

Post a reply to this message

nemesis wrote:

> Do you drink?  Beer at least?  Always a good bet for shy guys!  Learn the art of
> drinking and you're set to go... :D

Erm, NO.

Beer tasted God-damned awful! >_<

I drink Archers. :-P

Post a reply to this message

Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
> nemesis wrote:
>
> > Do you drink?  Beer at least?  Always a good bet for shy guys!  Learn the art of
> > drinking and you're set to go... :D
>
> Erm, NO.
>
> Beer tasted God-damned awful! >_<

yeah, I couldn't stand beer in my early ages too.  It's taste grew on me at
later years though, as well as legumes, vegetables and walnuts.  funky, ain't
it?

> I drink Archers. :-P

no clue.  If it's soda, then no deal... :D

Post a reply to this message

>> I drink Archers. :-P
> 
> no clue.  If it's soda, then no deal... :D

It's alcoholic, but it's definitely a girl's drink.

Post a reply to this message

>>> I drink Archers. :-P
>>
>> no clue.  If it's soda, then no deal... :D
> 
> It's alcoholic, but it's definitely a girl's drink.

Peach schnapps to be precise.

I also drink Baileys. Judging from the disapproving look I got from my 
uncle, I'm guessing this is also a girls' drink. (Note correct use of 
apostrophy.)

Post a reply to this message

>> It's alcoholic, but it's definitely a girl's drink.
>
> Peach schnapps to be precise.
>
> I also drink Baileys. Judging from the disapproving look I got from my 
> uncle, I'm guessing this is also a girls' drink.

What exactly did you drink when those two girls were laughing at you?  If 
you had an archers or a baileys then that would definitely be a good enough 
reason IMO.

> (Note correct use of apostrophy.)

So is beer a men's drink?

Post a reply to this message