"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message 
news:4970b1bf$1@news.povray.org...
> 1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice

Have no idea but it is pretty good with fruit punch

> 3. You can't watch CSI without cursing at least one scientific inaccuracy

The PCR on the show takes way too long

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iFDphWXjw4

> 5. Liquid nitrogen is only about a 1/3 as dangerous as you thought

and you are about 1/4 as careful as you should be with it

> 7. Accident reports are a badge of honour

Lab work is boring...accidents are the only excitment we get in a day

> 10. You've worked out that a trained chimp could probably do 90% of your 
> job

We already hire trained chimps. They are called undergrads

> 16. Safety equipment is optional unless it makes you look cool

This was obviously written by one of my students

> 17. Warning labels invoke curiosity rather than caution

They never tell you what TYPE of cancer it will give you...

> 22. You've used dry ice to cool beer down

or liquid nitrogen to make ice cream...

> 26. Your slightly too fond of the smell of (pick one or many) 
> Xylene/Agar/Ethanol/Alcoholic handwash

Xylene/Agar no. Ethanol is nice tho

> 35. You've removed your gloves to find a small hole which has left you 
> with either - wrinkly old person hands, a brightly coloured finger 
> (histologists especially) or a burning sensation and dermatitis and some 
> point.

Yup

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Invisible wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
> should be clean?

Distilling it enhances the homeopathic effects of anything it might have 
come in contact with, making it *much* more dangerous than regular tap water.

-- 
   Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
   Why is there a chainsaw in DOOM?
   There aren't any trees on Mars.

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Darren New wrote:
> Invisible wrote:
>> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
>> should be clean?
> 
> Distilling it enhances the homeopathic effects of anything it might have 
> come in contact with, making it *much* more dangerous than regular tap 
> water.
> 

What, you drown 0.000000000001% faster in it after its been homeopathed?

-- 
void main () {
   If Schrödingers_cat is alive or version > 98 {
     if version = "Vista" {
       call slow_by_half();
       call DRM_everything();
     }
     call functional_code();
   }
   else
     call crash_windows();
}

<A HREF='http://www.daz3d.com/index.php?refid=16130551'>Get 3D Models, 
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Invisible wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
> should be clean?

Your spit will contaminate it, silly!

> 21. You are strangely proud of the collection of junk you've stolen from 
> vendors at trade shows

You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.  (Except 
for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models.  They need those.)  The 
Pentagon hosts vendor shows about every two months or so, and in 
addition to the finger food buffet (sponsored by the vendors), there's 
always some nice logoed memorabilia up for grabs.  I have a mouse pad 
with the AMD logo on it, a yo-yo (real Duncan brand) with some other 
vendor's name, a racquetball with another logo, plus assorted pens, 
pencils, and highlighting markers, key chains, and so on.

Regards,
John

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John VanSickle wrote:
> You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.  (Except 
> for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models. 

And the booth babes aren't free for the taking either.

-- 
   Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
   Why is there a chainsaw in DOOM?
   There aren't any trees on Mars.

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Darren New wrote:
> John VanSickle wrote:
>> You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.  
>> (Except for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models. 
> 
> And the booth babes aren't free for the taking either.

Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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Orchid XP v8 wrote:

> 
> Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O
> 

Much like computer gear and consumer electronics conferences.

-- 
~Mike

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Mike Raiford wrote:
> Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> 
>>
>> Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O
>>
> 
> Much like computer gear and consumer electronics conferences.

Consumer electronics are purchased by consumers.

Computer gear is purchased by (generally) elite gamers.

Science stuff is purchased by... strange people in white coats with long 
beards?

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Invisible wrote:

> Science stuff is purchased by... strange people in white coats with long 
> beards?

And who says they don't need "Booth Babes" which would you prefer:

A plain wooden rack holding the latest test tubes, or a scantily clad 
"babe" holding and caressing the latest test tube made of the best 
borosilicate glass on the planet?

-- 
~Mike

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Mike Raiford wrote:

> A plain wooden rack holding the latest test tubes, or a scantily clad 
> "babe" holding and caressing the latest test tube made of the best 
> borosilicate glass on the planet?

Mmmmmm... borosilicate glass...

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