1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice

2. You can tell what cheap and expensive white coats look like

3. You can't watch CSI without cursing at least one scientific inaccuracy

4. You use acronyms for everything and never stop to elaborate

5. Liquid nitrogen is only about a 1/3 as dangerous as you thought

6. You always seem to use the microscope after the person with the 
impossible close together eyes

7. Accident reports are a badge of honour

8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
should be clean?

9. You give the lab equipment motivational pep talks such as "Work for 
me today or i'll reprogram you with a fire axe"

10. You've worked out that a trained chimp could probably do 90% of your job

11. When a non-scientist asks you what you do for a living you roll your 
eyes and talk science at them until they've lost the will to live 
(mainly for fun)

12. You have to check the web to find out what the weather is outside

13. You realize that almost anything can be classed as background reading

14. People wearing shorts under a lab coat disturb you slightly as they 
look as though they might be naked underneath

15. Although all cooking is a glorified chemistry experiment you just 
still can't seem to get it right

16. Safety equipment is optional unless it makes you look cool

17. Warning labels invoke curiosity rather than caution

18. The Christmas nightout reveals scientists can't dance, although a 
formula for the movement of hands and feet combined with beats per min 
is found scrawled on a napkin by a waiter the next day

19. You know which part of the lab you can chill out undisturbed on 
friday afternoon

20. You decide the courses and conference you want to go on by the 
quality of the food served

21. You are strangely proud of the collection of junk you've stolen from 
vendors at trade shows

22. You've used dry ice to cool beer down

23. No matter what the timings in the experiment protocol there is 
always time for lunch in the middle

24. You can no longer spell normal words but have no trouble with 
spelling things like immunohistochemistry or deoxyribonucleic acid

25. Burning eyes, nose and throat indicate that you haven't actually 
turned on the fumehood/downdraft bench

26. Your slightly too fond of the smell of (pick one or many) 
Xylene/Agar/Ethanol/Alcoholic handwash

27. You've left the lab wearing a piece of PPE because you forgot you 
had it on

28. You bitch about not being able to pipette by mouth any more


29. Security come round at 2 am wondering why the lights are still on 
only to find you with your arms up to your elbows in a glovebox


30. you have made some kind of puppet out of a nitrile glove and kept it 
as a pet (Putting dry ice in makes for a rapidly expanding if short 
lived pet - )

31. When at a Fall Out Boy gig you wonder why everyone is going round 
with Faecal Occult Blood (FOB) written on their head!!!!

32. You have an irresistible urge to rip your shirt off superman stylie 
cos it has press stud fasteners just like your lab coat.....Most often 
occurring as you walk through a door just like exiting the lab.... (The 
worlds of strippers and lab workers collide, not pretty)


33. You still get amusement out of "freezing" things in liquid nitrogen!


34. Blinking real fast has saved your eyesight on more than one occasion.

35. You've removed your gloves to find a small hole which has left you 
with either - wrinkly old person hands, a brightly coloured finger 
(histologists especially) or a burning sensation and dermatitis and some 
point.

36. You've bent down to pick something up off the floor only to scatter 
the contents of your top pocket.

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Invisible wrote:
> 1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice

Very much like vodka + orange.

Post a reply to this message

Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
> should be clean?

  The idea is that you can get water intoxiation from it
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication). However, the notion
that distilled water is significantly more dangerous in this regard
than regular tap water is, AFAIK, just an urban legend.

  If you drink 10 litres in one go, you might get problems (ie. water
intoxication), but the same is true for any kind of water. The urban
legend usually sounds like it's enough to just drink one glass of it.

-- 
                                                          - Warp

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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message 
news:4970b1bf$1@news.povray.org...
> 1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice

Have no idea but it is pretty good with fruit punch

> 3. You can't watch CSI without cursing at least one scientific inaccuracy

The PCR on the show takes way too long

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iFDphWXjw4

> 5. Liquid nitrogen is only about a 1/3 as dangerous as you thought

and you are about 1/4 as careful as you should be with it

> 7. Accident reports are a badge of honour

Lab work is boring...accidents are the only excitment we get in a day

> 10. You've worked out that a trained chimp could probably do 90% of your 
> job

We already hire trained chimps. They are called undergrads

> 16. Safety equipment is optional unless it makes you look cool

This was obviously written by one of my students

> 17. Warning labels invoke curiosity rather than caution

They never tell you what TYPE of cancer it will give you...

> 22. You've used dry ice to cool beer down

or liquid nitrogen to make ice cream...

> 26. Your slightly too fond of the smell of (pick one or many) 
> Xylene/Agar/Ethanol/Alcoholic handwash

Xylene/Agar no. Ethanol is nice tho

> 35. You've removed your gloves to find a small hole which has left you 
> with either - wrinkly old person hands, a brightly coloured finger 
> (histologists especially) or a burning sensation and dermatitis and some 
> point.

Yup

Post a reply to this message

Invisible wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
> should be clean?

Distilling it enhances the homeopathic effects of anything it might have 
come in contact with, making it *much* more dangerous than regular tap water.

-- 
   Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
   Why is there a chainsaw in DOOM?
   There aren't any trees on Mars.

Post a reply to this message

Darren New wrote:
> Invisible wrote:
>> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
>> should be clean?
> 
> Distilling it enhances the homeopathic effects of anything it might have 
> come in contact with, making it *much* more dangerous than regular tap 
> water.
> 

What, you drown 0.000000000001% faster in it after its been homeopathed?

-- 
void main () {
   If Schrödingers_cat is alive or version > 98 {
     if version = "Vista" {
       call slow_by_half();
       call DRM_everything();
     }
     call functional_code();
   }
   else
     call crash_windows();
}

<A HREF='http://www.daz3d.com/index.php?refid=16130551'>Get 3D Models, 
3D Content, and 3D Software at DAZ3D!</A>

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Invisible wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It 
> should be clean?

Your spit will contaminate it, silly!

> 21. You are strangely proud of the collection of junk you've stolen from 
> vendors at trade shows

You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.  (Except 
for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models.  They need those.)  The 
Pentagon hosts vendor shows about every two months or so, and in 
addition to the finger food buffet (sponsored by the vendors), there's 
always some nice logoed memorabilia up for grabs.  I have a mouse pad 
with the AMD logo on it, a yo-yo (real Duncan brand) with some other 
vendor's name, a racquetball with another logo, plus assorted pens, 
pencils, and highlighting markers, key chains, and so on.

Regards,
John

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John VanSickle wrote:
> You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.  (Except 
> for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models. 

And the booth babes aren't free for the taking either.

-- 
   Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
   Why is there a chainsaw in DOOM?
   There aren't any trees on Mars.

Post a reply to this message

Darren New wrote:
> John VanSickle wrote:
>> You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.  
>> (Except for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models. 
> 
> And the booth babes aren't free for the taking either.

Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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Orchid XP v8 wrote:

> 
> Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O
> 

Much like computer gear and consumer electronics conferences.

-- 
~Mike

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