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scott wrote:
>> This looks like the kind of thing I could really enjoy doing. Trouble
>> is, I'm not seeing any specific job that I can tick ALL the boxes for.
>
> Hardly anyone can do that.
Really?
I thought there were people out there who *have* 3 years of C experience?
>> In this instance, they seem to be *demanding* actual experience.
>> (Specifically C, C++ and VHDL. None of which I have, but I'm pretty
>> sure I could learn the latter two.)
>
> Exactly. Make this clear on your CV and letter. You want them to
> employ you because you are quick at learning new concepts and being able
> to work with them, not because you have 12 years experience in C.
I totally feel like there must be *something* useful I could do for
these guys... Now I just need to convince *them* of this fact! ;-)
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Invisible wrote:
> http://jobview.monster.co.uk/GetJob.aspx?JobID=73965942
Kings Langley /= Kings Lynn. o_O
PWN3D.
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> I gather some of them have friends and are able to pool their resources to
> rent somewhere.
If you earn 25K you'll have, what 1500 GBP a month to spend? I'm pretty
sure that even for a third of that you could rent somewhere half decent by
yourself. If you like it there (the job and the location) you could buy
somewhere small after a year or two. That way you're not wasting money on
rent each month.
> It's not like it has to be right next to my front door, but I would like
> it to be within a *sane* distance, yes. (E.g., Northampton, Buckingham or
> even Cambridge wouldn't be too bad.)
You won't believe how much nicer it is to only have to commute 5-10 mins to
work each day. I didn't think it was too much of a problem doing 45 mins
each way, but once I moved I swore I would never go back to anything more
than 20 mins each way.
> It says "up to" 25K.
That's because it's aimed at graduates, someone with your experience and
degree would easily expect the 25K or more (hey, I would expect even a good
graduate with NO experience could ask for the 25K, especially as it's near
London).
> Your employer [usually] wants you to stick around. *Customers* don't care
> if you get infected, crawl under a rock and die a slow, painful death -
> just so long as they get their system working again. And they aren't
> afraid to say so to your face.
Funny, the customers I deal with are not like that at all. They appreciate
the work I do and with most of them the relationship is pretty similar to
that I have with my colleagues. Maybe it's because we're always working on
the same level with technical issues, it's not like I have a meeting with
the CEO of BMW where he's shouting at me to do something which is
impossible. In fact with most of our customers we usually go out for dinner
with them after meetings and generally have a good time.
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scott wrote:
>> I gather some of them have friends and are able to pool their
>> resources to rent somewhere.
>
> If you earn 25K you'll have, what 1500 GBP a month to spend? I'm pretty
> sure that even for a third of that you could rent somewhere half decent
> by yourself. If you like it there (the job and the location) you could
> buy somewhere small after a year or two. That way you're not wasting
> money on rent each month.
All I know is that my sister lives in Guildford, she earns *twice* what
me and my mum combined earn, her boyfriend earns a similar salary again,
and they're *still* always broke.
Apparently, the nearer you get to London, the more expensive everything
becomes.
> You won't believe how much nicer it is to only have to commute 5-10 mins
> to work each day. I didn't think it was too much of a problem doing 45
> mins each way, but once I moved I swore I would never go back to
> anything more than 20 mins each way.
Oh well, I would *much* prefer to not have to crawl out of bed and spent
an hour of my life driving. But since there doesn't seem to be much in
the way of computer jobs in MK, gotta be realistic. (Apparently. So the
last consultant I spoke to said.)
>> It says "up to" 25K.
>
> That's because it's aimed at graduates, someone with your experience and
> degree would easily expect the 25K or more.
Does changing some tapes once a day count as "experience"? I guess it
might...
>> Your employer [usually] wants you to stick around. *Customers* don't
>> care if you get infected, crawl under a rock and die a slow, painful
>> death - just so long as they get their system working again. And they
>> aren't afraid to say so to your face.
>
> Funny, the customers I deal with are not like that at all. They
> appreciate the work I do and with most of them the relationship is
> pretty similar to that I have with my colleagues. Maybe it's because
> we're always working on the same level with technical issues, it's not
> like I have a meeting with the CEO of BMW where he's shouting at me to
> do something which is impossible. In fact with most of our customers we
> usually go out for dinner with them after meetings and generally have a
> good time.
Damn, you have some much nicer customers than us!
(Ours are famous for not having the slightest clue what they want from
us, but getting extremely angry when we don't give it to them. And they
send in auditors once every few years to prove we're doing our jobs
wrong...)
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Invisible wrote:
> Hey, guess what? Several of the backup settings have magically changed
> themselves to something completely different values.
>
> I wonder, who could have done that? Perhaps it was the fairies? Yes,
> that must be it. It was changed by faries.
>
> I'm completely sure that none of this has anything at all to do with the
> new global backup procedure document that comes into effect on the 1st
> of December. (Notice today's date: 18 *November*. Hence, our current
> procedure document is still in force and must be followed to the letter.)
The head of IT wants me to file a deviation record for this. Rather
than, you know, put the settings back to what they should be until the
SOP actually comes into force.
Because let's face it, signing a bit of paper saying "hey, we're sorry"
makes it all OK, doesn't it?
> Obviously I have no proof of who changed those settings. But I have a
> pretty good idea.
"Oh yeah, I should have probably had Chris touch base with you on that."
What the **** do you mean "probably"?!
Still, I'm just a mino in a very large pond. I suppose I should just be
thankful I haven't been eaten yet...
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Invisible wrote:
> The head of IT wants me to file a deviation record for this. Rather
> than, you know, put the settings back to what they should be until the
> SOP actually comes into force.
>
> Because let's face it, signing a bit of paper saying "hey, we're sorry"
> makes it all OK, doesn't it?
> "Oh yeah, I should have probably had Chris touch base with you on that."
>
> What the **** do you mean "probably"?!
The head of QA thinks I should write an email about this and send it to
the head of IT and the UK MD.
Oh goodie. So as well as trying to figure out what needs to go in this
deviation record, I also need to write a lengthy email to Mr
Self-Important too. And hopefully without causing myself even more
problems than I already have. Yay, me. :-/
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scott wrote:
> You're either applying for the wrong jobs or doing something wrong with
> your CV or covering letter then. I think I mentioned in another thread,
> take your GCSE results off your CV for starters.
I just checked my CV. Apparently I've already removed the GCSE results.
(I think the consultant I saw in London suggested that one.)
> Why don't you post your CV and covering letter here and I'm sure a few
> people will volunteer some helpful feedback. After that you can take
> into account whatever advice you choose to and work with that. I
> understand if you don't want to though, I wouldn't want to :-)
I've attached my CV. Please don't laugh. :-P
I don't *have* a covering letter. If I find a company interesting enough
for me to contact them directly, I write something from scratch.
(Depending on how I heard of them, what line of work they're in, how
closely my skills match what they seem to be looking for, etc.)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
Post a reply to this message
Attachments:
Download 'cv-v5-programmer-minimal.pdf' (39 KB)
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> scott wrote:
>
>> You're either applying for the wrong jobs or doing something wrong
>> with your CV or covering letter then. I think I mentioned in another
>> thread, take your GCSE results off your CV for starters.
>
> I just checked my CV. Apparently I've already removed the GCSE results.
> (I think the consultant I saw in London suggested that one.)
>
>> Why don't you post your CV and covering letter here and I'm sure a few
>> people will volunteer some helpful feedback. After that you can take
>> into account whatever advice you choose to and work with that. I
>> understand if you don't want to though, I wouldn't want to :-)
>
> I've attached my CV. Please don't laugh. :-P
>
> I don't *have* a covering letter. If I find a company interesting enough
> for me to contact them directly, I write something from scratch.
> (Depending on how I heard of them, what line of work they're in, how
> closely my skills match what they seem to be looking for, etc.)
>
Please accept this as honest and well intentioned advice and feedback.
I'll be direct because you have asked for help.
Your actual work history over 6 years amounts to 5 bullet points and
less than half a page !
Come on. This is the important bit. Without waffling or including
every time you turned on your PC you need to add more substance here.
You undercut points by saying how small and trivial they are - 'number
of small scripts', 'a small client survey'. Why not say how much time
or money they saved ?
Don't just say what you did but link it to the value. What would have
happened if you did not do certain tasks, come up with and implement
those ideas for improvements, have such great skills etc?
If you write policies and procedures that have to be reviewed by
external parties then don't phrase it as if they had to be passed by
some other agency and just squeaked through. What you did was
'Developed written policies on X, Y, Z that were implemented department
wide and endorsed by the the relevant government agency and external
auditors. This achieved compliance with legislative requirements
resulting in new contracts to the value of ...'.
Above all, remember that even the best CV may not get you to an
interview. Recruiters are (often) clueless, cruel and stupid. A lot of
this is arbitrary and random.
You certainly need to improve your chances at step 1 with a better CV.
You also may need to submit it to more potential opportunities. It is
somewhat of a numbers game. And that means that failure to strike any
one mark isn't a personal failing or put down.
What if you applied for that job in far away London and actually got to
the interview stage? You get experience and who knows it just might be
such a good company or more money than you expected that makes it
attractive. Wouldn't be unknown for them to offer a different role than
the advertised one if you are a decent candidate.
So what if you have to travel a bit to get there? Read on the train.
Catch the eye of the cutey sitting opposite. Become a cycling nut.
Sure you don't want to waste your life in travel but sometimes you have
to trade a bit of pain for other substantial gains. Later on you move
closer or find another job nearer but as good or better. It is easier
to get into another higher paid job once you are already in a tier.
Particularly if you demonstrate some achievement and advancement.
If you discount 95% of chances without applying then you've really
limited the probability of success. Who knows - it might be that your
superficial evaluation is wrong. Gee - that sounds like dating advice.
Finally, if your current situation is so bad then change it and soon.
If the sparse job history is right then you don't have the opportunity
to achieve much in your current job. Plugging away for another couple
of years may not be adding anything and in fact it will soon be a
negative to have stayed so long in an obviously dead end job and
company. Not to mention the obvious negative motivation and morale.
Meanwhile time and opportunities are sliding away.
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> I've attached my CV. Please don't laugh. :-P
I agree with what Paul wrote, especially the employment history. Beef it
out a bit and take out the negative words like "small". Use a smaller font
size if you can't fit it all on 2 sides, the one you are using is quite
large. Beef it out more depending on the job you are applying for, eg if
you are applying for a programming job then explain more about the scripts
and tools you've written.
Under your skills profile, I would actually write the complete list of
languages you have a "long history" with, drop the "etc" at the end. IF you
want, give another list afterwards of langauges that you have dabbled with
to a lesser extent. Beef out the last bullet point and make it clear that
you can learn new languages quickly, if they are expecting you to use a
language you are not proficient with this will help.
Bear in mind that when someone is looking at your CV they want to see
*evidence* of what you say you are a good at. For everything you say you do
or like, try to think of something that proves you are. eg "developed a
number of scripts", add afterwards something like "these have been working
successfully to save blah blah blah and have improved reliability and uptime
blah blah". I think Paul said something similar.
Beef out the bit about working liaising with staff, especially the US dudes,
nowadays most companies have to deal with foreign people at some time or
another and it shows you can communicate effectively. Also expand the "plan
future upgrades" bit, make it sound like you are part of the team that is
designing the network rather than just looking after it.
Take out the things like filing and photocopying, any monkey can (and does)
do that and they are interviewing you for a programmer, not an office
assistant. If you want, put something in there like "proificient MS Office
user", you'd be surprised how many (particularly older people) cannot use
most of the features of Office.
Take out your college diploma and GCSE results (I think you said you'd
already done that), and beef out your degree details if you have space. It
looks a bit confusing at the moment, I would group it into 1st 2nd and 3rd
year and then put the details under each. If I were you I would also take
out the grade for your final year project, and replace it with some more
details about the project. Some poeple who are looking at the CV might not
know what MVC stands for?
If you still have space to fill, add in a small "personal hobbies" section,
I know some employers want to see some evidence that you have a life outside
of work subjects, so it can't hurt. Just think up of a few non-computing
activities you've done once or twice in your life :-) they're not going to
ask for proof.
Remember a CV is there to sell yourself, someone is going to read 20 CVs and
choose a few to interview, you want to do everything possible (without lying
obviously) to make sure they choose yours.
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Paul Fuller wrote:
> Your actual work history over 6 years amounts to 5 bullet points and
> less than half a page !
>
> Come on. This is the important bit. Without waffling or including
> every time you turned on your PC you need to add more substance here.
Guess why I'm looking for another job? ;-)
> You undercut points by saying how small and trivial they are - 'number
> of small scripts', 'a small client survey'. Why not say how much time
> or money they saved ?
Neither of these things have saved anybody money. The scripts save my
time. (Which means I can spent more time surfing the web - but I don't
have to mention that part.)
> Don't just say what you did but link it to the value. What would have
> happened if you did not do certain tasks, come up with and implement
> those ideas for improvements, have such great skills etc?
Unfortunately, nothing. Almost nothing I do has any great impact on the
company. I mean, if I didn't set up somebody's account or if I didn't
change the backup tapes, the consequences wouldn't be much fun. But that
doesn't have a lot to do with the jobs I'm attempting to apply for. (A
trained monkey could change tapes and create user accounts. Which
possibly explains my salary...)
> If you write policies and procedures that have to be reviewed by
> external parties then don't phrase it as if they had to be passed by
> some other agency and just squeaked through.
I thought that was pretty much covered by "several external auditors
have specifically mentioned the high quality of these documents".
> This achieved compliance with legislative requirements
> resulting in new contracts to the value of ...'.
This would be lying.
Customers are far more interested in price and turnaround than the minor
work I do. Customers will withdraw contracts if the documentation isn't
good enough, but it won't motivate them to *place* work.
> Above all, remember that even the best CV may not get you to an
> interview. Recruiters are (often) clueless, cruel and stupid. A lot of
> this is arbitrary and random.
All I know is that after applying to endless adverts, I have had exactly
*one* interview. In the nearly 2 years I've been looking. This is *not*
strong motivation to keep trying. Indeed, this leads me more to believe
that trying to find a better job is inherantly hopeless and I might as
well give up.
I don't intend to give up any time soon, but I *am* really struggling
for motivation given my abject lack of success.
> You certainly need to improve your chances at step 1 with a better CV.
> You also may need to submit it to more potential opportunities. It is
> somewhat of a numbers game. And that means that failure to strike any
> one mark isn't a personal failing or put down.
Spending hours wading through unsuitable jobs trying to find something I
can actually apply for is really demotivational. But it's probably what
I need to spend more time doing...
> What if you applied for that job in far away London and actually got to
> the interview stage? You get experience and who knows it just might be
> such a good company or more money than you expected that makes it
> attractive. Wouldn't be unknown for them to offer a different role than
> the advertised one if you are a decent candidate.
>
> So what if you have to travel a bit to get there? Read on the train.
> Catch the eye of the cutey sitting opposite. Become a cycling nut.
>
> Sure you don't want to waste your life in travel but sometimes you have
> to trade a bit of pain for other substantial gains. Later on you move
> closer or find another job nearer but as good or better. It is easier
> to get into another higher paid job once you are already in a tier.
> Particularly if you demonstrate some achievement and advancement.
>
> If you discount 95% of chances without applying then you've really
> limited the probability of success. Who knows - it might be that your
> superficial evaluation is wrong. Gee - that sounds like dating advice.
I just really dislike London. It's so overcrowded and stressful. Not to
mention that if I lived there, any possible increase in pay would be
dwafted me the insane London prices.
Unfortunately, for some reason employers seem to think it's a really
good place to set up shop...
> Finally, if your current situation is so bad then change it and soon. If
> the sparse job history is right then you don't have the opportunity to
> achieve much in your current job. Plugging away for another couple of
> years may not be adding anything and in fact it will soon be a negative
> to have stayed so long in an obviously dead end job and company. Not to
> mention the obvious negative motivation and morale. Meanwhile time and
> opportunities are sliding away.
As if I didn't feel trapped enough already...
Basically I have this job because everybody else refused to employ me.
And I rather suspect I've already been here quite long enough for it to
be viewed as a very negative thing by any potential employer. But I'm
wasting my life here. I want to get out...
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