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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospam com> wrote in message
news:48767560$1@news.povray.org...
> Don't be worried. My point is *you'll get there*. But you also have to
> make incremental changes. I'm a *totally* introverted person most of the
> time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago. Be willing to take
> chances. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No big deal. If
> it does work out, hey, that's great. That's how we learn and grow.
>
I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I can't
pinpoint a single event that changed it, or started a change, but now I'm
preping to speak at the largest Tech conference in SA, and I'm looking
forward to it.
That said, if I;m at a party and don't know anyoen, I'll stand in the corner
sip on a drink and stare at the ceiling.
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:53:36 +0200, Gail Shaw wrote:
> "Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
> news:48767560$1@news.povray.org...
>
>> Don't be worried. My point is *you'll get there*. But you also have
>> to make incremental changes. I'm a *totally* introverted person most
>> of the time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago. Be willing to take
>> chances. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No big deal.
>> If it does work out, hey, that's great. That's how we learn and grow.
>>
>>
> I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
> strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I
> can't pinpoint a single event that changed it, or started a change, but
> now I'm preping to speak at the largest Tech conference in SA, and I'm
> looking forward to it.
That's something that I started doing back in about 1998 - speaking at
conferences. I've got a good friend from Ireland who also was an
instructor - he describes himself as an "extroverted introvert" when he's
teaching. It's actually a very common trait amongst technical
instructors, it seems. Surprisingly more common than one might expect.
I think for me the "turning point" started on board a cruise ship in the
Bahamas (with the group of Novell SysOps I was with - the group that's
similar to the Microsoft MVP group) drinking margaritas, and a couple of
the guys came over and were giving me grief about something; I turned and
said something to them that was *totally* unexpected (and apparently
quite forceful), and the world didn't end. None of us remember *what* I
said (I even asked one of them recently when he reappeared on the scene),
but the effect was pretty immediate.
I *always* have had problems speaking my mind. It's taken me many, many
years to get to the point where I'm comfortable expressing a dissenting
opinion. Now I do so regularly - and I've been having to train a "new"
boss (as of last November) on the idea that dissenting opinions aren't
bad, they're necessary. I believe she understands that, and I've
explained to my whole team that because I'm an "IT geek", I may sometimes
say things that can be taken offense to, but it's not intended that way.
Ever. Or rather, when it is, it'll be *really* obvious.
That said, I tend to be extremely cautious in how I word things to my
teammates. I've had a few comment that they've never seen me act rude
towards anyone - and one just the other day said she can't picture me
being mean or rude to *anyone*. I certainly can, I just reign it in,
especially when I'm talking to a group of non-geeks who don't understand
that I filter inbound rather than outbound. (The so-called "tact
filter").
> That said, if I;m at a party and don't know anyoen, I'll stand in the
> corner sip on a drink and stare at the ceiling.
Same here.
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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:48767938$1@news.povray.org...
>
> That's something that I started doing back in about 1998 - speaking at
> conferences. I've got a good friend from Ireland who also was an
> instructor - he describes himself as an "extroverted introvert" when he's
> teaching. It's actually a very common trait amongst technical
> instructors, it seems. Surprisingly more common than one might expect.
Sounds about right. Describes some of the speakers I've seen at conferences
very well.
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St. wrote:
> Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip about
> potential boyfriends after the date. ;)
>
> As well as keeping safe, that is.
Well since you seem to know something about it, what I'd like to know is
this: Why do schoolgirls have to hold hands when going to the toilets?
WTF is THAT about??
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Two seperate parties. Yes, I have been to that many. :-P Actually, I've
>> been to more than that, if you must know...
>
> Good, and did you let your hair down? ;)
More so at the second one...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48771574@news.povray.org...
> St. wrote:
>
>> Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip
>> about potential boyfriends after the date. ;)
>>
>> As well as keeping safe, that is.
>
> Well since you seem to know something about it, what I'd like to know is
> this: Why do schoolgirls have to hold hands when going to the toilets? WTF
> is THAT about??
Lol, no idea. I can't say I've ever seen girls holding hands to go to
the toilets.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
> alone it seems...)
>
Not a bad thing, actually.
See, if I call up friends once a week, and suggest we hang out, even if
it's just two of us, there is nothing wrong with that. No one gets
creeped out. A new friend might get a little confused by that, but a
date would probably find that a little stalkerish.
Good news is, if she wants to double date, she's not thinking of you as
'just a friend'.
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely transform
>>> something...
>>
>> Only if you let it.
>
> Oh no, it *does* transform it. (It transforms it from "hey, I scored" to
> "hey, I have a new person to talk to".) The QUESTION is how important
> that transformation is. ;-)
>
The difference, the only difference, is that she was honest with you
about her life right then.
A woman gives you her number does not equate to 'you scored'. Her
thoughts could range from 'nice guy, would be a good friend' to
something much more primal. You can't know, in most cases, what she was
thinking. This one just happened to tell you.
Myself, I'm stunned. You heard the 'bad breakup' bit and didn't offer
her a shoulder to cry on?
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>>>> It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely
>>>> transform something...
>>>
>>> Only if you let it.
>>
>> Oh no, it *does* transform it. (It transforms it from "hey, I scored"
>> to "hey, I have a new person to talk to".) The QUESTION is how
>> important that transformation is. ;-)
>
> The difference, the only difference, is that she was honest with you
> about her life right then.
>
> A woman gives you her number does not equate to 'you scored'.
No - but a guy *mentioning* that a "hot girl" gave him her phone number
usually does. ;-)
Commedians use this effect all the time; what your audience infers from
what you tell them can be completely transformed by a single fact
mentioned or not mentioned.
> Myself, I'm stunned. You heard the 'bad breakup' bit and didn't offer
> her a shoulder to cry on?
I heard the "bad breakup" part while I was standing 50 miles away. :-P
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting
>> me alone it seems...)
>
> Not a bad thing, actually.
>
> Good news is, if she wants to double date, she's not thinking of you as
> 'just a friend'.
Nah. She's explicitly not looking for a BF.
She's only ever met me, like, once, so she probably just wants somebody
to protect her in case it turns out I'm stark raving mad. (Or in case I
decide to try to make a move on her I guess - I have no clue how to do
that, but she doesn't know that...)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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