>> Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest
>> to "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still
>> tell you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
> 
> Yes.  I've said before, you remind me of me 15 years ago.  There's a 
> reason I've said that.

So...when I'm 45 I won't be a head-case any more? :-}

I don't know whether to be relieved or worried...

> BTW, you never answered my question about your knowledge with regards to 
> identity management....Random thought for the moment, just happened to 
> hit my mind again.

...wuh?

That's too random even for me to follow...

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:27:07 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:

>>> How about "once or twice per week"? Because that's roughly how often
>>> I've contacted him to arrange to meet up. :-P
>> 
>> Have you actually spoken to him?  Do you know he's not out of town?
> 
> Yeah. I get emails or text messages from him quite often, and I phone
> him now and then. But it seems frustratingly difficult to arrange to
> actually meet up.

Some people lead busy lives.  It happens.  I'd be surprised if it was 
intentional.

> Last weekend, we arranged to meet, but then he ate a kebab and spent the
> entire weeking puking.
> 
> The weekend before that, we arranged to meet, and on friday we went out
> for "a few drinks", and spent the entire weeking with a hangover.
> 
> Next weekend he's going on a trip.
> 
> Would you like me to continue?

Like I said, some people lead busy lives.  At least two of those events 
seem to be unanticipated.  Shit happens. <shrug>

> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
> alone it seems...)

So start with something with a small group, or in a public place.

Jim

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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:28:27 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:

>>> Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest
>>> to "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still
>>> tell you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
>> 
>> Yes.  I've said before, you remind me of me 15 years ago.  There's a
>> reason I've said that.
> 
> So...when I'm 45 I won't be a head-case any more? :-}

a) I'm not 45, I'm 38 later this year.  And you're probably more normal 
than you think - you lack a good point of reference.

> I don't know whether to be relieved or worried...

Don't be worried.  My point is *you'll get there*.  But you also have to 
make incremental changes.  I'm a *totally* introverted person most of the 
time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago.  Be willing to take 
chances.  If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.  No big deal.  If 
it does work out, hey, that's great.  That's how we learn and grow.

>> BTW, you never answered my question about your knowledge with regards
>> to identity management....Random thought for the moment, just happened
>> to hit my mind again.
> 
> ...wuh?
> 
> That's too random even for me to follow...

See?  There are people even more random than you. ;-)

Post from Monday, 1:53 PM BST-7:

--- snip ---

> Jim Henderson wrote:
> 
>> It amazes me how many companies don't understand the idea of identity
>> management.
> 
> Oh HELL yeah!

But it seems you have at least a rudimentary grasp of the concepts - have 
you done any integration work for disparate systems?

--- snip ---

You replied to the question about variance in site size, but not this 
earlier bit of the post. :-)

Jim

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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:24:45 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:

> Hence lots of people older than
> me, lots of people younger than me, nobody my age.

What difference does that make?  My wife is 6 years *older* than me.

My dad was *20 years* older than my mom.  (And yes, I know that at your 
age, that's not reasonable - my point is that age *doesn't* *matter* - at 
least not as long as it's legal)

Jim

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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message 
news:4876700b$1@news.povray.org...
> Hooookey, we appear to have our parties crossed here...

     Oh, well you didn't explain it very well.

>
> 1. My cousin's wedding, where my dad decided to dance. I was probably one 
> of the youngest people there. (My cosin is quite a bit older than me.)
>
> 2. That girl's 18th birthday party. Apparently she brought all her girly 
> mates from school - and their parents. Hence lots of people older than me, 
> lots of people younger than me, nobody my age. A reasonably fun evening 
> none the less though.
>
> Two seperate parties. Yes, I have been to that many. :-P Actually, I've 
> been to more than that, if you must know...

     Good, and did you let your hair down?  ;)

      ~Steve~



>
> -- 
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message 
news:48767099$1@news.povray.org...

> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me 
> alone it seems...)

    Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip about 
potential boyfriends after the date. ;)

     As well as keeping safe, that is.

       ~Steve~


>
> -- 
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:48767560$1@news.povray.org...

> Don't be worried.  My point is *you'll get there*.  But you also have to
> make incremental changes.  I'm a *totally* introverted person most of the
> time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago.  Be willing to take
> chances.  If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.  No big deal.  If
> it does work out, hey, that's great.  That's how we learn and grow.
>

I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I can't
pinpoint a single event that changed it, or started a change, but now I'm
preping to speak at the largest Tech conference in SA, and I'm looking
forward to it.
That said, if I;m at a party and don't know anyoen, I'll stand in the corner
sip on a drink and stare at the ceiling.

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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:53:36 +0200, Gail Shaw wrote:

> "Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
> news:48767560$1@news.povray.org...
> 
>> Don't be worried.  My point is *you'll get there*.  But you also have
>> to make incremental changes.  I'm a *totally* introverted person most
>> of the time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago.  Be willing to take
>> chances.  If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.  No big deal. 
>> If it does work out, hey, that's great.  That's how we learn and grow.
>>
>>
> I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
> strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I
> can't pinpoint a single event that changed it, or started a change, but
> now I'm preping to speak at the largest Tech conference in SA, and I'm
> looking forward to it.

That's something that I started doing back in about 1998 - speaking at 
conferences.  I've got a good friend from Ireland who also was an 
instructor - he describes himself as an "extroverted introvert" when he's 
teaching.  It's actually a very common trait amongst technical 
instructors, it seems.  Surprisingly more common than one might expect.

I think for me the "turning point" started on board a cruise ship in the 
Bahamas (with the group of Novell SysOps I was with - the group that's 
similar to the Microsoft MVP group) drinking margaritas, and a couple of 
the guys came over and were giving me grief about something; I turned and 
said something to them that was *totally* unexpected (and apparently 
quite forceful), and the world didn't end.  None of us remember *what* I 
said (I even asked one of them recently when he reappeared on the scene), 
but the effect was pretty immediate.

I *always* have had problems speaking my mind.  It's taken me many, many 
years to get to the point where I'm comfortable expressing a dissenting 
opinion.  Now I do so regularly - and I've been having to train a "new" 
boss (as of last November) on the idea that dissenting opinions aren't 
bad, they're necessary.  I believe she understands that, and I've 
explained to my whole team that because I'm an "IT geek", I may sometimes 
say things that can be taken offense to, but it's not intended that way.  
Ever.  Or rather, when it is, it'll be *really* obvious.

That said, I tend to be extremely cautious in how I word things to my 
teammates.  I've had a few comment that they've never seen me act rude 
towards anyone - and one just the other day said she can't picture me 
being mean or rude to *anyone*.  I certainly can, I just reign it in, 
especially when I'm talking to a group of non-geeks who don't understand 
that I filter inbound rather than outbound.  (The so-called "tact 
filter").

> That said, if I;m at a party and don't know anyoen, I'll stand in the
> corner sip on a drink and stare at the ceiling.

Same here.

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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:48767938$1@news.povray.org...
>
> That's something that I started doing back in about 1998 - speaking at
> conferences.  I've got a good friend from Ireland who also was an
> instructor - he describes himself as an "extroverted introvert" when he's
> teaching.  It's actually a very common trait amongst technical
> instructors, it seems.  Surprisingly more common than one might expect.

Sounds about right. Describes some of the speakers I've seen at conferences
very well.

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St. wrote:

>     Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip about 
> potential boyfriends after the date. ;)
> 
>      As well as keeping safe, that is.

Well since you seem to know something about it, what I'd like to know is 
this: Why do schoolgirls have to hold hands when going to the toilets? 
WTF is THAT about??

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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