Well, I defended my thesis the other day and learned that my professors all
despise my writing style. One committee member advised me to reorganize and
rewrite the entire thing, with these specific instructions, "All your sentences
should be subject-verb-object and no more than three lines long."

After I calmed down I thought about how to go about doing this. I can do shorter
sentences averaging around two dozen words each. Heck, while chopping it up I
can probably work in some Dr. Seuss rhythms, and maybe even a limerick or two
(because I tend to be perverse like that). But the other requirement seems more
bothersome. This simple sentence structure is what, maybe third grade  level?

I don't know anything about kids, so I looked it up, and quickly found a K-12
guide to writing level expectations. Children are expected to use more than one
type of sentence structure in their written work by the end of second grade. I'm
supposed to rewrite my master's thesis as if I'm seven years old.

Wow.

A student learned that at his school
He should write like a blathering fool
Only subject-verb-noun
Like some brain-damaged clown
or a JavaScript markov-chain tool

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