"St." <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:

> Can you spot anywhere else that I need to improve it?  (Your eyes are
> better than mine!)
>

The staging is a bit odd, in that the gun is in the middle of the body of a
bystander.  One bystander, meanwhile, has a hand raised that is oddly staged,
almost as if he's hitting the gent next to him.

The pose of the victim is okay, but I don't like the effects of what is
happening around him.  His eye is flashing like the X-Men's Cyclops.  The puffs
of smoke don't exactly line up with what I might expect a bullet to do to a
person.  I'm also not sure that the released gun should be going "up" like
that.

Back to the referee of the duel.  Shouldn't he be between the parties, shouldn't
the parties be a bit further apart? Maybe all this point to how you need to give
us some more breathing room, give us some white space or empty sky.  You've cut
the gun out of the frame!

Hope this helps.  Note that you asked for ways to improve, not a list of the
things we like about it!

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