On Mon, 20 Mar 2017 09:03:34 +0000, Stephen wrote:

> On 3/19/2017 10:07 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>>> Some will go out, get a gun, return to the workplace, and shoot a
>>>> bunch
>>>> >>of people - probably before shooting themselves.
>>>> >>
>>>> >>
>>> >If only they would do the latter first. O lot of problems would be
>>> >non events. It is the same with some fathers who kill their own
>>> >family before killing themselves.
>> Part of me agrees, but part of me thinks that it's not their fault they
>> were never taught how to cope with life.
> 
> I don't know about teaching. Helping people to cope with life, yes.

Well, maybe not so much about teaching, but about learning - and everyone 
learns in different ways.  Sign of a good teacher is one who understands 
that and can adapt.

> I don't see it as a "one size fits all". Everyone is different and react
> to different situations, differently.

True.  I don't mean to suggest anything differently than that - but 
everyone should learn some baseline coping skills for what to do when you 
fail, because failure is a big part of life.

>> At the same time, I know people who are the product of that kind of
>> upbringing who recognize how screwed up it was and have worked hard to
>> overcome it.  Everyone copes differently - it's when harming others
>> comes into it that things get ugly and messy.
>>
>>
> Yes, it is the harming others that is the problem. IMO.

Indeed.

>>>> >>It's pretty obviously not a good thing for mental health.  Everyone
>>>> >>needs to learn how to fail with grace - and that failure is often a
>>>> >>great teacher.
>>>> >>
>>> >Can you imagine the hoo ha if that were to be introduced into school
>>> >syllabuses?
>> I can.  When I interview people, I ask questions I know they can't
>> answer (I'll withhold key information, typically) because how you
>> respond to that kind of situation is really important to being
>> successful.
> 
> I'm sure you do it sympathetically. Sometimes the best answer is "I
> don't know. I would have to research it and get back to you.

That's exactly the type of answer I'm looking for - or for the scenario 
to lead to a discussion about the types of information they're looking 
for (since it's my scenario, I can answer those questions - so it can 
become a bit of role-play).

> I remember one interview I had where the technical guy asked me where in
> the db to put the customer's name and address. I gave him three obvious
> and best working practice answers. Each time he said that's not how they
> did it. So I mentioned a couple of bespoke solutions then finally
> thanked them for their time and said that I had enough information to
> decide that I no longer wished to continue the interview.
> Sometimes it is not a good idea to take every job that is offered.

That's certainly true.  Over the past couple of months, I've actually had 
a few interviews (one was pretty promising, actually - but I withdrew 
because of a change at work; I didn't feel it was right to continue to 
interview when I took a new position where I currently am - not fair to 
anyone for me to leave a few weeks after taking on new responsibilities - 
and stuff I'm excited to be doing).

Job interviews are very much a two-way street.

-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

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