Sherry K. Shaw wrote:

> 
> Sure, if they're schizophrenic.  And tornado-proof.  And flood-proof.

Only slightly

> 
>> Hey there, I originate from the largest tomato exporting country in the
>> world. It's not a large country by any means but man, do they grow a lot
>> of those red rubber balls.
> 
> Amelia would love that!  May I ask what country?

Tell Amelia that I'm Dutch. Origin of the great rubber ball flood. And 
tulips. Damn fucking tulips. I hate those flowers. Oh and roses, plenty of 
roses. Grown in Africa. 

> 
>> Yes, I was lucky to grow up with a few uncles, and cousins, that were in
>> the food growing business. One uncle grew lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoes
>> in greenhouses. ... What the family
>> ate was free to roam the field, the cows got bigger the pigs got way
>> bigger and the chickens could dig in the mud however much they wanted. And
>> they tasted great.
> 
> That sounds about right.  It used to be common in this part of the
> country for farmers (no matter what they were raising to sell) to keep a
> milk cow or two, some chickens, maybe a hog, and always a big kitchen
> garden.  Except (possibly) for the garden, I'm afraid those days are
> rapidly ending.  At least, some family farmers have found new ways to
> survive; for example, there are some people up the road from me a ways
> who raise llamas.  (And a lot I know about it; though I've nearly always
> lived in rural areas, my immediate family weren't farmers at all, though
> I've been acquainted with a lot of people who were.)
> 
>> A little tip, if you water tomato plants, don't get the plants wet, just
>> the ground.
> 
> Here's another:  Don't teach Grandma to suck eggs.  LOL.
> 
Okay, I won't. My last grandma passed away when I was 10, I never knew the 
other one.

> Seriously, in years past I had some really good gardens, and a few
> amazing ones.  Canned many, many quarts of tomatoes.  Froze many, many
> bags of green beans.  Canned gazillions of jars of assorted pickles and
> relishes.  Baked many delicious pumpkin pies out of butternut squash.
> Learned dozens of creative ways to cook or otherwise dispose of
> zucchini.  (Old joke:  "How do you recognize a Missourian with no
> friends?"  "You see him buying zucchini at the supermarket.")

I don't grow zucchinis nor do I eat them. Ugly crud. Should be a law against 
them. Just like okra. Nasty shit.
 
> Peppers,
> both sweet and hot.  Corn.  Popcorn.  Green onions (never had any luck
> with the big ones, but hey, they're cheap).  Bird house gourds.  The
> list goes on and on.  But the Big One of '93 marked the beginning of the
> end.
> 

I wasn't here in '93 so don't blame me. I didn't do it.

>> Coming season plant cherry tomatoes. I know, the ones coming from a store
>> taste like ping pong balls on Valium, but if you roast them in the oven
>> with some olive oil, salt and pepper. I'm almost certain you'll love them.
> 
> One year, we grew some little orange, pear-shaped grape tomatoes--don't
> remember the name of the variety, but they were really delicious.

Yumm, those are great. I didn't plant any, but Lenny, my neighbor had a ton. 
Oven roasted, or fried in a skillet. Or just plain right of the vine with a 
bit of salt.


> The
> real trick was to get some of them into the house and onto a plate.  :)
>   These last few years, though, it's always been too hot or too cold,
> too wet or too dry, or some hideous combination of all of the above.
> Plus tornadoes and out-of-season floods...
> 
>> Dunno what part of the Missouri universe you are in...
> 
> The rural Ozark part.

I love that part, passed through it plenty times on my way to Arkansas. 
It's a beautiful area.

> 
>>>>> * Black pepper, garlic powder, cumin, and paprika.  And, of course,
>>>>> love.
>>
>> No fresh garlic? This saddens me deeply :)
> 
> It's a RUB.  You mix up dry stuff and put it in a jar in the cabinet to
> use as needed.

Okay, okay, no need to RUB it in.

> Fresh ingredients may be added as desired when the meat
> is actually cooked, including, but not limited to--oh, look!  A shiny
> thing!

On all my trips to Arkansas I never saw a shiny thing in the Ozark region. 
Have to have a better look next time.

> 
>> Com'on lady, Missouri soil is ideal to grow both onions and cayenne
>> peppers...
> 
> You say "soil" as if you were referring to something with actual dirt
> content 

What can I say, I live in an area called CLAY county. Must be for a reason. 
Not that I live there, but that they called it that.

> (as opposed to, say, a mixture of little chips of chert and
> assorted chunks of limestone and/or granite, garnished with the
> occasional boulder).  Although I have seen some marvelous strawberries
> growing out of what appeared to be several acres of river gravel.
> 

Where I come from most strawberries are not grown in dirt but in rock wool 
insulation. They look great, are firm, no blemishes and you might as well 
chew on your mattress. Same taste. 

>>> --Sherry "One Giant Mass of Wrinkles" Shaw
>>>
>> At 22? I doubt it very much :)
> 
> Awesome math skills!
> 

Hah, you haven't seen my juggling skills yet**. 

> --Sherry Shaw
> 
> * BTW, were those apple blossoms in Andy's lovely photographs?  In
> February???  Sigh.
> 

-- 

Ger

** Neither have I.

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