In the category of "things I suck at"... I can't sing very well either.

Notwithstanding, and in complete defiance of the terms of my lease, 
today I've been recording my singing with Cubase. Or at least, humming 
just loud enough for a microphone placed mere millimetres from my lips 
to detect that something is happening.

You will be unsurprised to hear that this arrangement does not result in 
high sound quality. In order to make anything audible I had to turn the 
gain way, way up. So there's quite a lot of background hiss. Also, you 
can hear every single breath I take.

Added to that, I have quite a lot voice, and because I'm trying to sing 
quietly I tended to sing quite low notes. The result was quite "grainy" 
in texture.

What *is* quite surprising - to me, at least - is that the whole appears 
to be greater than the sum of its parts. As in, you can listen to each 
of the parts I sung, and hear how the pitch waivers around hopelessly. 
And yet, when you play them all simultaneously, something strange 
happens: it sounds more in-tune than it actually is. It almost sounds 
like I used the computer to auto-tune it or something. (I don't possess 
that program.)

I eventually figured out how to increase the playback volume in Cubase 
to the point where my vocals were actually audible. (The microphone is 
returning a signal at roughly -16 dB, which is easily quieter than the 
backing tracks.) Lots of hiss, but you can now hear me.

A curious problem is that every single line I sang seems to vary in 
volume, seemingly at random. Some of them are louder at the end, some of 
them are louder in the middle. In short, no matter which way you adjust 
the volume, you can't seem to get them all the same volume.

This is where I break out Reaktor and load up a compander. This device, 
I am told, exists to counteract this precise problem. It seems to work 
reasonably well. With a 4-bank compander, the mic hiss is gone, and the 
volume appears to waiver a lot less.

Sadly, a compander does nothing to fix my lack of timing or my wandering 
pitch.

Again: I'm really quite surprised that do-wop harmonies sound anywhere 
near this good with a fool like me singing them.

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