Hi(gh)!

Meanwhile, I had to relax my strong intial stance about leaving the 
Internet for an unforseeable time (if not forever) to a more moderate 
one: as my problem lies not with the Internet in general, but rather 
with the WWW, I reconfigured my two computers in a way that I now only 
can use e-mail, Usenet (which of course includes news.povray.org) and 
telnet (for the occasional MUD session). The "psychological hurdle" for 
re-installing Firefox or the Internet Explorer is high enough as I lost 
my Windows XP installation disc years ago, so that I first would have to 
buy a "new" (nowadays of course second hand) one or to re-install Linux 
on my main raytracing computer, which would take me more than two hours 
and thus would also be too cumbersome.

In fact, my most severe addiction (or better, compulsion as it gives me 
not even short-time positive feelings of satisfaction, only mental pain) 
is googling several times a day for the catchwords "sin" or "hell", to 
land up on Christian fundamentalist websites telling me that I, as a 
homosexual unbeliever, am heading straight towards a place and state 
infinitely worse than Auschwitz! Websites which tell me that even the 
faintest hunch of independent, individualist thinking is nothing less 
than spitting into the face of God Almighty, unforgivable unless I 
surrender to Fundamentalist doctrine and become a robotic slave of what 
they call "Jesus Christ". There must be tens of thousands of such 
websites, also in German language... and I'm simply addicted to 
religiously induced fear!

There of course also is the issue of simply devoting far too much time 
for Internet/computer activities in general - which still would be a 
problem resulting in a chronically messy apartment and runaway obesity 
(meanwhile almost hitting 300 lbs!) even without access to the WWW.

Am 21.01.2013 21:16, schrieb MichaelJF:

> Fourth, I was concerened about loosing a friend here and as all I noticed Joergs
> activities here were sparse within the last months and could not explain an
> addiction to the internet causing a mental disorder.

Partially it in fact can be explained by my obsessive-compulsory 
affliction described above, but also by the fact that I started to 
prepare the version 0.3 of my Earth Flight animation (on YouTube, look 
for "Yadgar1969"), which involves thorough processing of huge "Blue 
Marble" Earth satellite mosaic textures; this probably would occupy me 
well into 2014. Then there still is Khyberspace, the virtual 
Afghanistan, partially as an SRTM-based part of POVEarth, but also 
partially (the "Kabul Module") using a heightfield generated from a 
Soviet-made topographic map at a scale of 1:100,000.

I also deleted my www.khyberspace.de pages, as during almost 12 years, 
the response to it was next to none. Many contents of those pages were 
also much too personal, almost exhibitionistical to be presented to a 
global public. Why should anyone outside there take any attention of my 
current weight, hair length or my strange teenage obsessions having led 
me to that weird fascination of Afghanistan? Furthermore, also the 
"Greenbook" electronic organ database and the nascent "Rock-o-Data" 
music database have been erased. In the more distant future, when I may 
have acquired the mental strength to withstand the lure of "fear 
googling", I probably will return to the WWW to rework these projects.

My Afghanistan chronicle (http://home.arcor.de/yadgar/index.htm), 
however, remains on the Web, as also a close friend of mine uses this 
webspace, so I was not allowed at all to erase it...

But for the time being, I'm not able to tackle with the sheer 
availability of fundamentalist content on the WWW, at least when I'm 
alone at home and not under the "social control" of friends or in an 
Internet cafe where excessive surfing and "fear googling" would become 
too expensive.

> But than I googled about
> Joerg and found a lot of things he cannot eliminate from the net so fast (or
> ever) and now I understand him.

Which "things" do you mean?

> Joerg, if you ever read this lines, the POV-Community is concerned about POV of
> course in the first place but you can discuss a lot of things within the off
> topic group. Not all of course, but within the internet you will never find a
> better community. But I think you know this...

Yes, of course!

See you on my screen!

Yadgar

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