Hi(gh)!

Am 18.11.2011 19:26, schrieb Cousin Ricky:

> I don't believe you.
>
> Look back at your personal Web site.  You confess to having lots of setbacks and
> mistakes over the years trying to model Afghanistan.  And you learned.

But my learning curve is very, very flat... when I compare myself to 
those whizkids who know PoV-Ray barely for a year and come up with 
sophisticated scenes, then I really would like to kill not myself (I'm 
even too phlegmatic for suicide!), but to delete all PoV-Ray 
applications and project data and from now on content myself with 
watching TV and drinking cheap canned beer like all the other underclass 
losers do...

> You can do it again.  Just give it more time and effort.

And that's the problem... I'm not used to giving effort (in any fields 
of life) anymore, effort just HURTS! And when I try and try and try and 
even the 22nd attempt is the same failure as the first, then I wonder 


> I hope you're just kidding.  If not, then please see a doctor.

Fortunately, there are no time machines... and as I mentioned, I'm even 
too dysfunctional to kill myself! If I tried, I probably would totally 
blow the job and instead of simply ceasing to exist (or, the Christian 
version, ending up in Satan's eternal Auschwitz, as I'm no born-again 
turbo-evangelical), I would find myself as a coma patient for years and 
years in some intensive neurology ward...

> This too, shall pass.
>
> Sleep on it.

Not even this works after gallons of strong "programmer's coffee"...

See you in Khyberspace!

Yadgar

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