>> At this point, I have literally no idea where in hell my guitar has
>> gone.
>
> Did yu check under the couch cushions? That's usually where lost stuff
> ends up.

Alternatively, my mother might have eaten it by mistake, I guess.

> (Assuming you don't have a two year old in your house, in which case, it
> could litterally be ANYWHERE she can reach.)

Surely if there was a child in the house, the guitar would be 
irreparably broken?

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