More dramatic I think.  The lens flare from the star seems to be visible
through the sail fabric so that's kind of neat.  Doesn't seem to be so
however, when I pause the player to check it turns out to be an illusion, at
least I suppose it is.  Had you considered the fabric thickness yet?  These
things are always said to be very thin and low mass for them to work well.
Although you do have what is a somewhat bulky mass for it all.  Seems the
most apt way this particular thing would work in your case is for it to be
doing some kind of energy accumulation and transfer.  But now I'm off the
beaten path so I'll leave you with those thoughts  :-)

Bob

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