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>>> You see a couple of cute girls in a bar, you walk up to the group and
>>> say, "Hey, how's it going? Can I buy you and your friends a drink?"
>>
>> For some reason, last time I tried this, the girls kept looking
>> sideways at each other and laughing at me...
>
> How many times have you tried it? It's normal to get shot down, so
> don't worry about that. Keep trying :)
Just once was enough to leave me emotionally scarred.
Besides, that was the fourth or fifth trip to that particular bar, and
it's the first time I saw any girls there. Obviously I'm going to the
wrong places.
This seems to be the general theme in everything I try, whether I'm
looking to meet a girl or just make a few friends. Everywhere I do, I
have nothing in common with anybody. I'm always the odd one out.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Besides, that was the fourth or fifth trip to that particular bar, and
> it's the first time I saw any girls there. Obviously I'm going to the
> wrong places.
That's not enough of a sample to really get a feel for a place. You
need to go on different days, at different times (some places are wildly
different depending if you go right after work, after dinner, later at
night, or after midnight).
When you factor in the luck of the draw, it's easy to see how one might
strike out.
Keep trying :)
> This seems to be the general theme in everything I try, whether I'm
> looking to meet a girl or just make a few friends. Everywhere I do, I
> have nothing in common with anybody. I'm always the odd one out.
If you only try a few times and then quit, then yeah, you're not going
to accomplish anything. Failure is only failure until you succeed.
Keep going out, having fun, and don't worry about whether or not you'll
find anyone. Just have a good time, and take advantage of whatever
opportunities present themselves :)
...Chambers
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On Sat, 29 Aug 2009 20:48:22 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>> How many times have you tried it? It's normal to get shot down, so
>> don't worry about that. Keep trying
>
> Just once was enough to leave me emotionally scarred.
The ones that shoot you down aren't worth the effort. A sample size of
"1" is not sufficient, as Chambers said. If they turn you down, it's
their loss, not yours.
Jim
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>> Besides, that was the fourth or fifth trip to that particular bar, and
>> it's the first time I saw any girls there. Obviously I'm going to the
>> wrong places.
>
> That's not enough of a sample to really get a feel for a place. You
> need to go on different days, at different times (some places are wildly
> different depending if you go right after work, after dinner, later at
> night, or after midnight).
Why would I even be *awake* after midnight?!
Anyway, if you meet people at a bar, you're going to meet people who
like going out to bars. Given that I don't, this is probably not a good
idea.
> Keep trying :)
I'd rather do something that has some possibility of success.
>> This seems to be the general theme in everything I try, whether I'm
>> looking to meet a girl or just make a few friends. Everywhere I do, I
>> have nothing in common with anybody. I'm always the odd one out.
>
> If you only try a few times and then quit, then yeah, you're not going
> to accomplish anything. Failure is only failure until you succeed.
Any idea how long the alchemists spent trying to turn lead into gold?
Do you think they should have kept trying longer?
> Keep
> going out, having fun, and don't worry about whether or not you'll find
> anyone. Just have a good time, and take advantage of whatever
> opportunities present themselves :)
That's just it. Sitting alone in a room full of people staring at me
like I'm a bug-eyed monster is *not fun*. There has to be a better way...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Just once was enough to leave me emotionally scarred.
>
> The ones that shoot you down aren't worth the effort. A sample size of
> "1" is not sufficient, as Chambers said. If they turn you down, it's
> their loss, not yours.
Oh, sure, those two were arseholes. I don't care what they think of me.
It did, however, leave me feeling horrid for the rest of that month...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:55:14 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> Just once was enough to leave me emotionally scarred.
>>
>> The ones that shoot you down aren't worth the effort. A sample size of
>> "1" is not sufficient, as Chambers said. If they turn you down, it's
>> their loss, not yours.
>
> Oh, sure, those two were arseholes. I don't care what they think of me.
>
> It did, however, leave me feeling horrid for the rest of that month...
Then, respectfully, you *did* care what they thought of you, and you need
to understand why, because they aren't worth feeling like crap for for
the rest of the month.
Jim
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gregjohn wrote:
> "Slime" <fak### [at] email address> wrote:
>
>>>Everybody who's bothered to get to know me apparently really likes me. And
>>>yet, girls ignore me.
>>>
>>>Marcus, on the other hand, is an arsehole. And girls really like him.
>>
>>He's confident and aggressive, whereas you're shy and self-deprecating.
>>
>
>
> Here's a dangerous sociological hypothesis: are men who see themselves on the
> wrong side of the above equation in their late teens more likely to marry
> someone from a different culture/ race in their later twenties? It's like, in
> your sheltered little community, you're a loser. When you step out and grow up
> a bit and meet a different kind of people, you meet folks who don't judge you
> based on prior knowledge of your having been such a loser in kindergarten, and
> somehow your mind associates nicer women with the new culture you stepped into,
> and WHAM! suddenly you've got a lovely wife in your late twenties who has a very
> different accent.
>
>
>
You definitely have to go to the next village at least. Yeah it's hard
to get any traction with girls who knew you when you were showing off
your Buzz Lightyear underpants.
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>>>> Just once was enough to leave me emotionally scarred.
>>> The ones that shoot you down aren't worth the effort. A sample size of
>>> "1" is not sufficient, as Chambers said. If they turn you down, it's
>>> their loss, not yours.
>> Oh, sure, those two were arseholes. I don't care what they think of me.
>>
>> It did, however, leave me feeling horrid for the rest of that month...
>
> Then, respectfully, you *did* care what they thought of you, and you need
> to understand why, because they aren't worth feeling like crap for for
> the rest of the month.
I don't care what they thought of me. I *do* care that two people
publically humilliated me...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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From: Fredrik Eriksson
Subject: Re: So women aren't attracted to you?
Date: 29 Aug 2009 17:39:23
Message: <op.uzf03wri7bxctx@e6600>
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On Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:54:10 +0200, Orchid XP v8 <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
>> If you only try a few times and then quit, then yeah, you're not going
>> to accomplish anything. Failure is only failure until you succeed.
>
> Any idea how long the alchemists spent trying to turn lead into gold?
They never stopped trying, and eventually they succeeded. Turning lead
into gold has been technologically possible for decades; it is just not
very economical.
--
FE
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Why would I even be *awake* after midnight?!
How late are bars open where you live? Around here, they either close
around 2 or they stay open all night.
They stay open that late, because that's when people go out for fun.
One of my roommates never leaves the house until 11 when he goes out.
I actually prefer going out a little earlier.
> Anyway, if you meet people at a bar, you're going to meet people who
> like going out to bars. Given that I don't, this is probably not a good
> idea.
That's true. So then the question just becomes finding something you
enjoy where there are other people.
>> Keep trying :)
>
> I'd rather do something that has some possibility of success.
?
Didn't you see me write that there is a possibility of success?
>> Keep going out, having fun, and don't worry about whether or not
>> you'll find anyone. Just have a good time, and take advantage of
>> whatever opportunities present themselves :)
>
> That's just it. Sitting alone in a room full of people staring at me
> like I'm a bug-eyed monster is *not fun*. There has to be a better way...
Well, then try a club, or a dance hall, or something. Find someplace
with a pool table, and at least you won't just be sitting there.
...Chambers
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