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From: Invisible
Subject: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 16 Jan 2009 11:11:43
Message: <4970b1bf$1@news.povray.org>
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1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice
2. You can tell what cheap and expensive white coats look like
3. You can't watch CSI without cursing at least one scientific inaccuracy
4. You use acronyms for everything and never stop to elaborate
5. Liquid nitrogen is only about a 1/3 as dangerous as you thought
6. You always seem to use the microscope after the person with the
impossible close together eyes
7. Accident reports are a badge of honour
8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It
should be clean?
9. You give the lab equipment motivational pep talks such as "Work for
me today or i'll reprogram you with a fire axe"
10. You've worked out that a trained chimp could probably do 90% of your job
11. When a non-scientist asks you what you do for a living you roll your
eyes and talk science at them until they've lost the will to live
(mainly for fun)
12. You have to check the web to find out what the weather is outside
13. You realize that almost anything can be classed as background reading
14. People wearing shorts under a lab coat disturb you slightly as they
look as though they might be naked underneath
15. Although all cooking is a glorified chemistry experiment you just
still can't seem to get it right
16. Safety equipment is optional unless it makes you look cool
17. Warning labels invoke curiosity rather than caution
18. The Christmas nightout reveals scientists can't dance, although a
formula for the movement of hands and feet combined with beats per min
is found scrawled on a napkin by a waiter the next day
19. You know which part of the lab you can chill out undisturbed on
friday afternoon
20. You decide the courses and conference you want to go on by the
quality of the food served
21. You are strangely proud of the collection of junk you've stolen from
vendors at trade shows
22. You've used dry ice to cool beer down
23. No matter what the timings in the experiment protocol there is
always time for lunch in the middle
24. You can no longer spell normal words but have no trouble with
spelling things like immunohistochemistry or deoxyribonucleic acid
25. Burning eyes, nose and throat indicate that you haven't actually
turned on the fumehood/downdraft bench
26. Your slightly too fond of the smell of (pick one or many)
Xylene/Agar/Ethanol/Alcoholic handwash
27. You've left the lab wearing a piece of PPE because you forgot you
had it on
28. You bitch about not being able to pipette by mouth any more
29. Security come round at 2 am wondering why the lights are still on
only to find you with your arms up to your elbows in a glovebox
30. you have made some kind of puppet out of a nitrile glove and kept it
as a pet (Putting dry ice in makes for a rapidly expanding if short
lived pet - )
31. When at a Fall Out Boy gig you wonder why everyone is going round
with Faecal Occult Blood (FOB) written on their head!!!!
32. You have an irresistible urge to rip your shirt off superman stylie
cos it has press stud fasteners just like your lab coat.....Most often
occurring as you walk through a door just like exiting the lab.... (The
worlds of strippers and lab workers collide, not pretty)
33. You still get amusement out of "freezing" things in liquid nitrogen!
34. Blinking real fast has saved your eyesight on more than one occasion.
35. You've removed your gloves to find a small hole which has left you
with either - wrinkly old person hands, a brightly coloured finger
(histologists especially) or a burning sensation and dermatitis and some
point.
36. You've bent down to pick something up off the floor only to scatter
the contents of your top pocket.
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From: Bill Pragnell
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 16 Jan 2009 13:43:37
Message: <4970d559$1@news.povray.org>
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Invisible wrote:
> 1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice
Very much like vodka + orange.
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From: Warp
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 16 Jan 2009 16:33:55
Message: <4970fd43@news.povray.org>
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Invisible <voi### [at] dev null> wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It
> should be clean?
The idea is that you can get water intoxiation from it
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication). However, the notion
that distilled water is significantly more dangerous in this regard
than regular tap water is, AFAIK, just an urban legend.
If you drink 10 litres in one go, you might get problems (ie. water
intoxication), but the same is true for any kind of water. The urban
legend usually sounds like it's enough to just drink one glass of it.
--
- Warp
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From: Mike Hough
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 16 Jan 2009 17:19:54
Message: <4971080a$1@news.povray.org>
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] dev null> wrote in message
news:4970b1bf$1@news.povray.org...
> 1. You wonder what absolute alcohol tastes like with orange juice
Have no idea but it is pretty good with fruit punch
> 3. You can't watch CSI without cursing at least one scientific inaccuracy
The PCR on the show takes way too long
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iFDphWXjw4
> 5. Liquid nitrogen is only about a 1/3 as dangerous as you thought
and you are about 1/4 as careful as you should be with it
> 7. Accident reports are a badge of honour
Lab work is boring...accidents are the only excitment we get in a day
> 10. You've worked out that a trained chimp could probably do 90% of your
> job
We already hire trained chimps. They are called undergrads
> 16. Safety equipment is optional unless it makes you look cool
This was obviously written by one of my students
> 17. Warning labels invoke curiosity rather than caution
They never tell you what TYPE of cancer it will give you...
> 22. You've used dry ice to cool beer down
or liquid nitrogen to make ice cream...
> 26. Your slightly too fond of the smell of (pick one or many)
> Xylene/Agar/Ethanol/Alcoholic handwash
Xylene/Agar no. Ethanol is nice tho
> 35. You've removed your gloves to find a small hole which has left you
> with either - wrinkly old person hands, a brightly coloured finger
> (histologists especially) or a burning sensation and dermatitis and some
> point.
Yup
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From: Darren New
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 16 Jan 2009 18:14:36
Message: <497114dc$1@news.povray.org>
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Invisible wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It
> should be clean?
Distilling it enhances the homeopathic effects of anything it might have
come in contact with, making it *much* more dangerous than regular tap water.
--
Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
Why is there a chainsaw in DOOM?
There aren't any trees on Mars.
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From: Patrick Elliott
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 16 Jan 2009 22:20:46
Message: <49714e8e$1@news.povray.org>
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Darren New wrote:
> Invisible wrote:
>> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It
>> should be clean?
>
> Distilling it enhances the homeopathic effects of anything it might have
> come in contact with, making it *much* more dangerous than regular tap
> water.
>
What, you drown 0.000000000001% faster in it after its been homeopathed?
--
void main () {
If Schrödingers_cat is alive or version > 98 {
if version = "Vista" {
call slow_by_half();
call DRM_everything();
}
call functional_code();
}
else
call crash_windows();
}
<A HREF='http://www.daz3d.com/index.php?refid=16130551'>Get 3D Models,
3D Content, and 3D Software at DAZ3D!</A>
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From: John VanSickle
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 17 Jan 2009 01:24:53
Message: <497179b5$1@news.povray.org>
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Invisible wrote:
> 8. You've wondered why you can't drink distilled water in the lab - It
> should be clean?
Your spit will contaminate it, silly!
> 21. You are strangely proud of the collection of junk you've stolen from
> vendors at trade shows
You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away. (Except
for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models. They need those.) The
Pentagon hosts vendor shows about every two months or so, and in
addition to the finger food buffet (sponsored by the vendors), there's
always some nice logoed memorabilia up for grabs. I have a mouse pad
with the AMD logo on it, a yo-yo (real Duncan brand) with some other
vendor's name, a racquetball with another logo, plus assorted pens,
pencils, and highlighting markers, key chains, and so on.
Regards,
John
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From: Darren New
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 17 Jan 2009 17:50:38
Message: <497260be$1@news.povray.org>
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John VanSickle wrote:
> You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away. (Except
> for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models.
And the booth babes aren't free for the taking either.
--
Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
Why is there a chainsaw in DOOM?
There aren't any trees on Mars.
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From: Orchid XP v8
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 18 Jan 2009 06:28:37
Message: <49731265$1@news.povray.org>
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Darren New wrote:
> John VanSickle wrote:
>> You don't have to steal--they're happy to give the stuff away.
>> (Except for the vendor rep's laptop and demo models.
>
> And the booth babes aren't free for the taking either.
Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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From: Mike Raiford
Subject: Re: You know you've been working in a lab too long when...
Date: 19 Jan 2009 09:34:27
Message: <49748f73$1@news.povray.org>
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>
> Wait - science conferences have *booth babes*?! O_O
>
Much like computer gear and consumer electronics conferences.
--
~Mike
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