Phil Cook wrote:
> And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 11:46:50 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> did 
> spake, saying:
> 
>> Yeah... These guys don't seem to comprehend that the UK isn't the USA. 
>> When we tell them things like this, they seem to think we're making a 
>> fuss about nothing.
> 
> Try http://thepiratebay.org/legal.php for more 'the US is the World' fun.

Wait... In Sweeden it's legal to copy protected works? ._.

>> Do you have a cite for that?
> 

> which also refers to weight and is what the currency was originally 
> based on...no :-) Oh and it should be lb for the plural like sheep, so 
> they did get that wrong.

Ooo.. I didn't know that. (About lb being plural.) I'm pretty sure I've 
seen it wrong in a number of places though...

>>>  And HQ have been told this?
>>
>> Endlessly. Our accountant spent *months* trying to get them to 
>> reconfigure the software to allow her to do her job properly. They 
>> variously didn't understand what she meant, or thought she was just 
>> being awkward for the sake of causing trouble.
> 
> Invite their accountant over to 'show' her how to do her job properly.

Heh. Well, the trouble is, the Big Boys want to control everything, but 
don't want to do any actual *work* and certainly don't want to be held 
*responsible* for anything. They want all the glory when it goes wrong, 
they want to be the control freaks who get to boss everyone around, but 
they're not interested in doing anything helpful...

>> Well, it's Cisco, so at least you can geniunely say it's the best 
>> product on the market. (Unlike the Dell thing...) It's expensive, but 
>> at least you can say you're getting build quality.
> 
> It is kind of like buying gold-filigreed oars carved from the finest 
> woods by master craftsman in order to paddle your hide coracle.

Indeed.

>> OTOH, our current switches have worked perfectly for over 10 years too...
> 
> Ah due for failure then :-)

Doubt it. :-P

>> You just sumerised the whole CF, right there.
> 
> It's a knack,now just COPY* and paste it into an email to HQ.
> 
> *Just for you Warp.

Well, I don't know, I don't think even He is omnipresent... ;-)

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And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:18:56 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> did  
spake, saying:

> Invisible wrote:
>
>> 5. This just in - HQ have proposed a new, standardised company-wide  
>> computer naming scheme.
>>  They want to name each computer according to where it is in the  
>> building.
>
> roflcakes!
>
> I just had the most amusing conversation with the head of IT...
>
> I tried to explain to him that renaming a PC is an expensive operation  
> and something that should be avoided at all costs. Some of his responses  
> were really quite amusing.
>
> "My *God* - you have a log book for *every* PC on your network?? What on  
> earth is the *point* of that?!?"
>
> I manage to avoid exclaiming "...and you *don't*?"

I trust your answer was more along the lines of "We keep them as part of  
the audit trail that is legally required for our industry, both here and  
in the USA" and watched him turn a whiter shade of pale.

Knowing what you do I'm not surprised that you need such a trail;  
disconcerting at the least that your IT head doesn't know that.

> For anybody who doesn't work in this kind of righly-regulated  
> environment: Being able to provide an audit trail of *exactly* what has  
> happened to a particular computer system is an elementery requirement of  
> the industry regulations. (In particular, the same requirements also  
> apply in the USA.) The fact that the company head of IT didn't know that  
> is... disturbing.
>
> "Wow, that's *insane*! You can't do that...! OK, I'm gonna have to get  
> that fixed."

Hehe that's easy just hire a good lobbying company and get the regulations  
changed for the whole industry - piece of cake it'll all be done in a  
couple of years. I do like "You can't do that" always funny when used in a  
situation where not only have you done that, but have done that for quite  
some time now.

> Ahem. Good luck with that one honey. I think the auditors might have a  
> little bit to say about the matter. ;-)
>
> Seriously. The very idea that we would actually *record* an audit trail  
> and be accountable rather than just do whatever the hell we feel like  
> utterly blew his mind. It was a total shock to his system.
>
> Clearly, at HQ they do things a little bit differently. ;-) I always  
> thought it was an exaggeration, but now I'm not so sure...

What are they doing over there?

> [Hint: If you go to QA and say "oh hai, i r deleted ur audit trails,  
> kthxbye" I can *actually guarantee* - as in, I can put money on it -  
> that QA will say, in no uncertain terms, "ME NO WANT!!1!". And what QA  
> doesn't approve, does not happen. Not without severe legal implicatiosn  
> anyway...]
>
> OMG, I should stop reading lolcat!

Yes, yes I think you should.

-- 
Phil Cook

--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com

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Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
> Does anybody else feel frustrated at work?
>
[Snip]

> No, I'm sorry, this is absurd!)

You must be a masochist. Tell us that you enjoy this :)

Stephen

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Phil Cook wrote:
> And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:18:56 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> did 
> spake, saying:
> 
>> "My *God* - you have a log book for *every* PC on your network?? What 
>> on earth is the *point* of that?!?"
>>
>> I manage to avoid exclaiming "...and you *don't*?"
> 
> I trust your answer was more along the lines of "We keep them as part of 
> the audit trail that is legally required for our industry, both here and 
> in the USA" and watched him turn a whiter shade of pale.

Actually, he'd probably just not believe me. :-P

The guys at HQ tend to not believe anything anyone in the UK says.

For example, a while back we had a period where the lab was utterly 
empty. Bored analysts were dusting shelves and rearranging paperwork 
(and leaving work *hours* early) because there was simply no useful work 
to be done. There were even rumours that the site might close, it was so 
damn quiet.

And then the Big Bosses came over, and we had a meeting. So they're 
standing there telling us how we all need to pull our weight and work 
hard and work unpaid overtime if necessary (!!) to complete work on time 
and someone piped up "why? We haven't got any work to do right now."

"Oh, I don't believe that."

"No, seriously. We've got no work."

"Well, you might not have much, but you must have *something*. Anyway, 
what we-"

"No, we've got NO WORK."

"Well I don't believe that for a second."

Only when our exasperated lab director *dragged* these guys over to the 
lab and physically *showed* them the empty freezers did they all gasp 
and go "holy crap! We gotta get some samples in here right away! We're 
losing a fortune here... Jeez, why didn't you guys *tell* us you had no 
work?!" (Obviously, the answer being "We *have* been telling you about 
this - for many *months* before the gap in the schedule actually hit the 
lab. Why didn't you LISTEN to us?")

Within days we had more work than we could handle coming through the 
door, but you have to wonder why this didn't happen months ago when our 
lab director is phoning these bozos *daily* to tell them we've got no 
work. I imagine because they though "no work" was an exaggeration...

> Knowing what you do I'm not surprised that you need such a trail; 
> disconcerting at the least that your IT head doesn't know that.

Er, YES. o_o

>> "Wow, that's *insane*! You can't do that...! OK, I'm gonna have to get 
>> that fixed."
> 
> Hehe that's easy just hire a good lobbying company and get the 
> regulations changed for the whole industry - piece of cake it'll all be 
> done in a couple of years.

These are the kind of idiots who seem to think that major national 
governments will just change their laws to suit the company. Obviously, 
they are sadly mistaken. (What *is* it that gives people these ideas 
that the world revolves around them??)

> I do like "You can't do that" always funny 
> when used in a situation where not only have you done that, but have 
> done that for quite some time now.

Yeah, isn't it great? :-D

>> Clearly, at HQ they do things a little bit differently. ;-) I always 
>> thought it was an exaggeration, but now I'm not so sure...
> 
> What are they doing over there?

Well, from what I can tell, they spout a lot of grand talk about 
compliance with regulations, and then just do whatever they feel like 
whenever following the rules isn't convinient.

For example, a lot of their "procedure documents" basically say, in 
flowery language, "the person performing this task will decide on the 
best way to do it based on their expertise". Or perhaps "there will be a 
procedure. The people doing it will know what it is. It may change from 
time to time. We won't actually write it down anywhere though."

The entire *point* of a procedure document is to rigidly define 
*exactly* what the procedure is. So that you can be tested against it. 
Also, official procedure documents go through an extensive review and 
approval process, to ensure that the procedure is acceptable. Also, 
these documents get archived, so that when you reconstruct a project, 
you can determine exactly which version of the procedure the people 
would have been working to at the time.

All of this goes straight out the window when you have cursory "there 
will be a procedure" documents. I seriously wonder how they get away 
with it - our QA department in the UK would *never* allow such a thing. 
(In fact, they regularly refuse to adapt "global" procedure documents 
because they don't specify any procedure - or they specify a dumb 
procedure!)

>> OMG, I should stop reading lolcat!
> 
> Yes, yes I think you should.

pleez to stop poking me now?

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Stephen wrote:
> Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
>> Does anybody else feel frustrated at work?
>>
> [Snip]
> 
>> No, I'm sorry, this is absurd!)
> 
> You must be a masochist. Tell us that you enjoy this :)

Well... It *can* be amusing sometimes! ;-) Watching all the stupid ideas 
these guys come up with, watching them shoot their own arms and legs off.

And sometimes it's significantly *less* fun - like when they start 
shooting *my* arms and legs off. o_O

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And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:45:09 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> did  
spake, saying:

> Phil Cook wrote:
>> And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 11:46:50 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull>  
>> did spake, saying:
>>
>>> Yeah... These guys don't seem to comprehend that the UK isn't the USA.  
>>> When we tell them things like this, they seem to think we're making a  
>>> fuss about nothing.
>>  Try http://thepiratebay.org/legal.php for more 'the US is the World'  
>> fun.
>
> Wait... In Sweeden it's legal to copy protected works? ._.

No read it again a little more carefully. Think of PirateBay as a Google  
for torrents, they don't have the data they just provide links to it which  
apparently is perfectly legal there... so far.

>>> Do you have a cite for that?

>> which also refers to weight and is what the currency was originally  
>> based on...no :-) Oh and it should be lb for the plural like sheep, so  
>> they did get that wrong.
>
> Ooo.. I didn't know that. (About lb being plural.) I'm pretty sure I've  
> seen it wrong in a number of places though...

librum/libra

>>>>  And HQ have been told this?
>>>
>>> Endlessly. Our accountant spent *months* trying to get them to  
>>> reconfigure the software to allow her to do her job properly. They  
>>> variously didn't understand what she meant, or thought she was just  
>>> being awkward for the sake of causing trouble.
>>  Invite their accountant over to 'show' her how to do her job properly.
>
> Heh. Well, the trouble is, the Big Boys want to control everything, but  
> don't want to do any actual *work* and certainly don't want to be held  
> *responsible* for anything. They want all the glory when it goes wrong,  
> they want to be the control freaks who get to boss everyone around, but  
> they're not interested in doing anything helpful...

Phrase it to massage their egos.

>>> You just sumerised the whole CF, right there.
>>  It's a knack,now just COPY* and paste it into an email to HQ.
>>  *Just for you Warp.
>
> Well, I don't know, I don't think even He is omnipresent... ;-)

I think He only gets invoked with the holy and powerful phrase "Cut and  
Paste"... we'll see if that works :-)

-- 
Phil Cook

--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com

Post a reply to this message

And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:18:38 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> did  
spake, saying:

> Phil Cook wrote:
>> And lo on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:18:56 -0000, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull>  
>> did spake, saying:
>>
>>> "My *God* - you have a log book for *every* PC on your network?? What  
>>> on earth is the *point* of that?!?"
>>>
>>> I manage to avoid exclaiming "...and you *don't*?"
>>  I trust your answer was more along the lines of "We keep them as part  
>> of the audit trail that is legally required for our industry, both here  
>> and in the USA" and watched him turn a whiter shade of pale.
>
> Actually, he'd probably just not believe me. :-P
>
> The guys at HQ tend to not believe anything anyone in the UK says.
>
> For example, a while back we had a period where the lab was utterly  
> empty. Bored analysts were dusting shelves and rearranging paperwork  
> (and leaving work *hours* early) because there was simply no useful work  
> to be done. There were even rumours that the site might close, it was so  
> damn quiet.
>
> And then the Big Bosses came over, and we had a meeting. So they're  
> standing there telling us how we all need to pull our weight and work  
> hard and work unpaid overtime if necessary (!!) to complete work on time  
> and someone piped up "why? We haven't got any work to do right now."
>
> "Oh, I don't believe that."
>
> "No, seriously. We've got no work."
>
> "Well, you might not have much, but you must have *something*. Anyway,  
> what we-"
>
> "No, we've got NO WORK."
>
> "Well I don't believe that for a second."
>
> Only when our exasperated lab director *dragged* these guys over to the  
> lab and physically *showed* them the empty freezers did they all gasp  
> and go "holy crap! We gotta get some samples in here right away! We're  
> losing a fortune here... Jeez, why didn't you guys *tell* us you had no  
> work?!" (Obviously, the answer being "We *have* been telling you about  
> this - for many *months* before the gap in the schedule actually hit the  
> lab. Why didn't you LISTEN to us?")

At which point you say "well we did email you on the 1st, then the 5th,  
the 11th, the..." ah gods bless the paper trail.

>>> "Wow, that's *insane*! You can't do that...! OK, I'm gonna have to get  
>>> that fixed."
>>  Hehe that's easy just hire a good lobbying company and get the  
>> regulations changed for the whole industry - piece of cake it'll all be  
>> done in a couple of years.
>
> These are the kind of idiots who seem to think that major national  
> governments will just change their laws to suit the company. Obviously,  
> they are sadly mistaken. (What *is* it that gives people these ideas  
> that the world revolves around them??)

Well it depends on the size of the country, the size of the company and  
the laws in question. Remember if a government passes a law preventing the  
sale of some goods in its country then this is a trade restriction, if a  
company prevents retailers selling its goods in stores that's copyright.

>>> Clearly, at HQ they do things a little bit differently. ;-) I always  
>>> thought it was an exaggeration, but now I'm not so sure...
>>  What are they doing over there?
>
> Well, from what I can tell, they spout a lot of grand talk about  
> compliance with regulations, and then just do whatever they feel like  
> whenever following the rules isn't convinient.

Are you sure they're not French? (no please I'm just kidding really I am)

> For example, a lot of their "procedure documents" basically say, in  
> flowery language, "the person performing this task will decide on the  
> best way to do it based on their expertise". Or perhaps "there will be a  
> procedure. The people doing it will know what it is. It may change from  
> time to time. We won't actually write it down anywhere though."
>
> The entire *point* of a procedure document is to rigidly define  
> *exactly* what the procedure is. So that you can be tested against it.  
> Also, official procedure documents go through an extensive review and  
> approval process, to ensure that the procedure is acceptable. Also,  
> these documents get archived, so that when you reconstruct a project,  
> you can determine exactly which version of the procedure the people  
> would have been working to at the time.
>
> All of this goes straight out the window when you have cursory "there  
> will be a procedure" documents. I seriously wonder how they get away  
> with it - our QA department in the UK would *never* allow such a thing.  
> (In fact, they regularly refuse to adapt "global" procedure documents  
> because they don't specify any procedure - or they specify a dumb  
> procedure!)

Sadly the flip side is not being able to get a client to sign off some  
documentation while they're physically there as the procedure says it has  
to be faxed to their office for approval and faxed back with their  
signature.

-- 
Phil Cook

--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com

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The Matrix has you.

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Are you the White Rabbit?

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>Are you the White Rabbit?

No.  This is...

http://www.jobsearch.co.uk/

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