with a frog on his head.

"What's going on here?" asked the barman.

"Don't ask me" said the frog. "He put me there."


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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The man goes back to the bar and asks the barman if he can use the pub 
piano.
When he sits down he puts the frog on the keyboard and it commences to 
play a Chopin nocturne.
“That’s marvellous.” Said the barman. “Can I book you for Friday night?”
“Wait until tomorrow.” The man said.
On the morrow he arrived with the frog and a toad. The frog played and 
the toad sang, My way.
That is unbelievable, quoth the publican.
Yes, said the man, it is. But it is a bit of a cheat. The frog is a 
ventriloquist.


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On 29-4-2017 19:55, Stephen wrote:
> The man goes back to the bar and asks the barman if he can use the pub
> piano.
> When he sits down he puts the frog on the keyboard and it commences to
> play a Chopin nocturne.
> “That’s marvellous.” Said the barman. “Can I book you for Friday night?”
> “Wait until tomorrow.” The man said.
> On the morrow he arrived with the frog and a toad. The frog played and
> the toad sang, My way.
> That is unbelievable, quoth the publican.
> Yes, said the man, it is. But it is a bit of a cheat. The frog is a
> ventriloquist.
>
>

Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)

-- 
Thomas

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On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:

>>
>
> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>

That's a question I never answer. ;-)

But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.

iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer 
was telling pub jokes.

Here is one of mine.

A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

[It was an iron bar.]

We need more traffic.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On 30-4-2017 10:03, Stephen wrote:
> On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>
>>>
>>
>> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>>
>
> That's a question I never answer. ;-)
>
> But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.
>
> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
> was telling pub jokes.
>
> Here is one of mine.
>
> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>
> [It was an iron bar.]
>
> We need more traffic.
>

What would he have said if it had been an Iron Lady? ;-)

[not very good, I know, but the best I can do]

More traffic? we can ban traffic lights at this moment and organise 
off-topic (or other pov-related) street races...

-- 
Thomas

Post a reply to this message

On 4/30/2017 12:13 PM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
> On 30-4-2017 10:03, Stephen wrote:
>> On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>>
>>>>
>>>
>>> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>>>
>>
>> That's a question I never answer. ;-)
>>
>> But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.
>>
>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
>> was telling pub jokes.
>>
>> Here is one of mine.
>>
>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>>
>> [It was an iron bar.]
>>
>> We need more traffic.
>>
>
> What would he have said if it had been an Iron Lady? ;-)
>
> [not very good, I know, but the best I can do]
>
You really don't want to know. But it goes something like this:

See you hen.
Whack!


> More traffic? we can ban traffic lights at this moment and organise
> off-topic (or other pov-related) street races...
>


Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. 
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when 
a loud cried out:
"Jesus is watching you."
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In 
a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's 
your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot 
named you Clarence?"
"The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On 30-4-2017 13:29, Stephen wrote:
> On 4/30/2017 12:13 PM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>> On 30-4-2017 10:03, Stephen wrote:
>>> On 4/30/2017 7:51 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Stephen, how much did you drink last night? :-)
>>>>
>>>
>>> That's a question I never answer. ;-)
>>>
>>> But for you the answer is: Enough and not too much.
>>>
>>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
>>> was telling pub jokes.
>>>
>>> Here is one of mine.
>>>
>>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>>>
>>> [It was an iron bar.]
>>>
>>> We need more traffic.
>>>
>>
>> What would he have said if it had been an Iron Lady? ;-)
>>
>> [not very good, I know, but the best I can do]
>>
> You really don't want to know. But it goes something like this:
>
> See you hen.
> Whack!
>
>
>> More traffic? we can ban traffic lights at this moment and organise
>> off-topic (or other pov-related) street races...
>>
>
>
> Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
> He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when
> a loud cried out:
> "Jesus is watching you."
> Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
> "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
> The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In
> a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
> "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
> "Yes", said the parrot.
> The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's
> your name?"
> "Clarence," said the bird.
> "That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
> named you Clarence?"
> "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.
>

I love this one! :-)

-- 
Thomas

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 7:45 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>> Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.
>> He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when
>> a loud cried out:
>> "Jesus is watching you."
>> Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
>> "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
>> The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically. In
>> a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
>> "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
>> "Yes", said the parrot.
>> The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's
>> your name?"
>> "Clarence," said the bird.
>> "That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
>> named you Clarence?"
>> "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.
>>
>
> I love this one! :-)

I am still giggling when I think about it.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

Two guys walk into a bar.  The third one ducked.

Jim



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 11:05:00 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 7:45 AM, Thomas de Groot wrote:
>>> Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was
>>> empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his
>>> tracks when a loud cried out:
>>> "Jesus is watching you."
>>> Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
>>> "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
>>> The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He looked around frantically.
>>> In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
>>> "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" he asked.
>>> "Yes", said the parrot.
>>> The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot:
>>> "What's your name?"
>>> "Clarence," said the bird.
>>> "That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot
>>> named you Clarence?"
>>> "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot replied.
>>>
>>>
>> I love this one! :-)
> 
> I am still giggling when I think about it.

LOL



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
> was telling pub jokes.

Radio 4?  Link?



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 5:49 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>
>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry Cryer
>> was telling pub jokes.
>
> Radio 4?

Ja.

> Link?
>
Nein, Recht. :P

You should be able to find it from this. ;)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0510tn1

or search for:

Election Free Zone: Barry Cryer #

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 5:47 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>
>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>
> Two guys walk into a bar.  The third one ducked.
>

And the forth one shot him.
Sorry that was Vice President Dick Cheney. :)


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 18:00:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 5:49 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>
>>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry
>>> Cryer was telling pub jokes.
>>
>> Radio 4?
> 
> Ja.
> 
>> Link?
>>
> Nein, Recht. :P
> 
> You should be able to find it from this. ;)
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0510tn1
> 
> or search for:
> 
> Election Free Zone: Barry Cryer #

Aired on 24-April in the show PM?

Grabbing that now. :)

Thanks!

Jim
-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 18:02:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 5:47 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>
>>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>>
>> Two guys walk into a bar.  The third one ducked.
>>
>>
> And the forth one shot him.
> Sorry that was Vice President Dick Cheney. :)

LOL



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 7:03 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Mon, 01 May 2017 18:00:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>
>> On 5/1/2017 5:49 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>>
>>>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry
>>>> Cryer was telling pub jokes.
>>>
>>> Radio 4?
>>
>> Ja.
>>
>>> Link?
>>>
>> Nein, Recht. :P
>>
>> You should be able to find it from this. ;)
>>
>> http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0510tn1
>>
>> or search for:
>>
>> Election Free Zone: Barry Cryer #
>
> Aired on 24-April in the show PM?
>

Maybe*, certainly the PM programme.

> Grabbing that now. :)
>
> Thanks!
>

My pleasure. :D


* My sense of time has gone walk-about.
And thank you for reminding me of my anniversary on the 24th inst.
[Head in hands to play with, if I forget that. <Gulp!>]



-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 7:20 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Mon, 01 May 2017 18:02:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>
>> On 5/1/2017 5:47 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>>
>>>> A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".
>>>
>>> Two guys walk into a bar.  The third one ducked.
>>>
>>>
>> And the forth one shot him.
>> Sorry that was Vice President Dick Cheney. :)
>
> LOL
>
>
>

:)


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 19:26:41 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 7:03 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>> On Mon, 01 May 2017 18:00:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>
>>> On 5/1/2017 5:49 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>>> On Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:03:15 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> iPM on ratio 4 are haveing an election free spot. Last week Barry
>>>>> Cryer was telling pub jokes.
>>>>
>>>> Radio 4?
>>>
>>> Ja.
>>>
>>>> Link?
>>>>
>>> Nein, Recht. :P
>>>
>>> You should be able to find it from this. ;)
>>>
>>> http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0510tn1
>>>
>>> or search for:
>>>
>>> Election Free Zone: Barry Cryer #
>>
>> Aired on 24-April in the show PM?
>>
>>
> Maybe*, certainly the PM programme.

That seems to be where the link goes, just about have it, so I'll see if 
I can find the segment.

> 
>> Grabbing that now. :)
>>
>> Thanks!
>>
>>
> My pleasure. :D
> 
> 
> * My sense of time has gone walk-about.
> And thank you for reminding me of my anniversary on the 24th inst.
> [Head in hands to play with, if I forget that. <Gulp!>]

:)



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 7:31 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> That seems to be where the link goes, just about have it, so I'll see if
> I can find the segment.

Try about half way through. Just before the news. IIRC

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 19:37:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 7:31 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>> That seems to be where the link goes, just about have it, so I'll see
>> if I can find the segment.
> 
> Try about half way through. Just before the news. IIRC

Ah, I see - he's just done really short clips in each show during the 
week.

Jim



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 9:21 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Mon, 01 May 2017 19:37:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>
>> On 5/1/2017 7:31 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>> That seems to be where the link goes, just about have it, so I'll see
>>> if I can find the segment.
>>
>> Try about half way through. Just before the news. IIRC
>
> Ah, I see - he's just done really short clips in each show during the
> week.
>
> Jim
>
>
>
But a junkie will grasp at the shortest straw.
(Talk about mixed metaphors.)

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 21:37:47 +0100, Stephen wrote:

> On 5/1/2017 9:21 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>> On Mon, 01 May 2017 19:37:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>
>>> On 5/1/2017 7:31 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>>> That seems to be where the link goes, just about have it, so I'll see
>>>> if I can find the segment.
>>>
>>> Try about half way through. Just before the news. IIRC
>>
>> Ah, I see - he's just done really short clips in each show during the
>> week.
>>
>> Jim
>>
>>
>>
> But a junkie will grasp at the shortest straw.
> (Talk about mixed metaphors.)

Oh, yes, absolutely - and we just listened to all 5 of them.  But rather 
than grab the entire episode and search for it, the highlight clips were 
enough. :)

Jim



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message

On 5/1/2017 9:48 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Mon, 01 May 2017 21:37:47 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>
>> On 5/1/2017 9:21 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>> On Mon, 01 May 2017 19:37:35 +0100, Stephen wrote:
>>>
>>>> On 5/1/2017 7:31 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
>>>>> That seems to be where the link goes, just about have it, so I'll see
>>>>> if I can find the segment.
>>>>
>>>> Try about half way through. Just before the news. IIRC
>>>
>>> Ah, I see - he's just done really short clips in each show during the
>>> week.
>>>
>>> Jim
>>>
>>>
>>>
>> But a junkie will grasp at the shortest straw.
>> (Talk about mixed metaphors.)
>
> Oh, yes, absolutely - and we just listened to all 5 of them.  But rather
> than grab the entire episode and search for it, the highlight clips were
> enough. :)
>

Just a dab of caviar not a fish supper. :)


-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Mon, 01 May 2017 22:35:16 +0100, Stephen wrote:

>> Oh, yes, absolutely - and we just listened to all 5 of them.  But
>> rather than grab the entire episode and search for it, the highlight
>> clips were enough. :)
>>
>>
> Just a dab of caviar not a fish supper. :)

Indeed, that's a good way to look at it.  I wasn't sure which it was. :)

Jim



-- 
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and 
besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw

Post a reply to this message