On 8/9/2010 5:45 PM, Shay wrote:
> On 08/09/2010 05:16 PM, Darren New wrote:
>> Shay wrote:
>>> The original author feels *exactly* that way
>>
>> Oh? What's his name?
>
> ¿¿¿¿ "A Recovering Nice Guy" ????
>
> Why?
>
>>
>>> They don't have true friends, because it's impossible to obligate
>>> someone into true friendship.
>>
>> I feel really bad for you.
>
> Huh?

Yeah ... I don't get that either.

> Because I think the "Recovering Nice Guy" is really full of crap?
> Because I'm unfortunate enough to have met a few of that type in my life?

I don't really see RNG as being full of crap, but rather angry and 
bitter at his life experience. I can't say I blame him, since these are 
his perceptions of the world. I've definitely felt that way at times, 
myself. Especially when my ex wife left me for someone else who was a 
total ass, but then it worked out for the better for me.

But... what type exactly do you mean? Jaded? Yeah, some people can be 
jaded by the actions of others. You certainly do have a different 
perspective on things though.

-- 
~Mike

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On 8/9/2010 11:23 PM, Shay wrote:

> And I'll bet most of those frat-boy types grow up to be loving husbands
> and fathers. I've seen it happen many times.

Mmhmm. I've not quite seen that. The ones I've observed have pretty much 
continued on their ways. Usually ending in divorce or worse. But then, 
my sampling may not be typical.

> And there are plenty of genuine nice guys in the world. Most of the ones
> I've known have had healthy and plentiful relationships with women.

There are. For certain. I'm sure most keep their frustrations with 
dating to themselves and don't go on paragraphs-long rants on 
Craigslist, as well.

> The creep OTOH has always remained a creep IME.

The same could be said about the frat-boy always remains the frat-boy. 
Of course, my definition of creep may different. The creep IMO is the 
guy who keeps making unwanted advances after being told to back off. 
That *is* creepy behavior. And yeah, that's true ... I don't think they 
change. But, I've never hung around long enough with the truly creepy to 
make a good judgment of that.

-- 
~Mike

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On 16/08/2010 1:18 PM, Mike Raiford wrote:
> I've definitely felt that way at times, myself. Especially when my ex
> wife left me for someone else who was a total ass, but then it worked
> out for the better for me.

Well as my old grandmother used to say. "What's for you won't go past you."

'Glad it has worked out. :-)

-- 

Best Regards,
	Stephen

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On 8/8/2010 11:42 AM, Darren New wrote:

> He's not bemoaning not getting laid, per se. He's bemoaning getting
> treated like crap when he's nice, discarded for people who are not nice,
> and being used for the thing's he's nice at without being around when
> she's having fun. There's only so long even the nicest guy will be an
> emotional tampon before he moves on.

That is exactly it. He resents being treated like a doormat. Something I 
have a lot of familiarity with, unfortunately.

-- 
~Mike

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On 8/7/2010 1:22 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:

> bs, I'm a geek and married.  My wife's a geek too.

^^ What he said, minus the wife part. She's not a geek, but she 
tolerates my geekery :D

I've also been in former nice guy's position as well. Jaded, Bitter 
about the world and about people in general. Feels like he was a 
doormat. Been there, done that, probably written a few ill-advised rants 
myself at some point.

-- 
~Mike

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On Mon, 16 Aug 2010 07:11:35 -0500, Mike Raiford wrote:

> Asperger's just simply don't have
> the faculty to deal properly with social situations, and so are socially
> awkward, but do not view others as some sort of game piece.

It's worth pointing out, though that just because someone doesn't have 
the ability to deal properly with social situations that they have any 
degree of Asperger's.  There are other important markers for Asperger's 
that are often overlooked by those who aren't trained to recognise them.

Jim

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On Mon, 16 Aug 2010 07:37:49 -0500, Mike Raiford wrote:

> I've also been in former nice guy's position as well. Jaded, Bitter
> about the world and about people in general. Feels like he was a
> doormat. Been there, done that, probably written a few ill-advised rants
> myself at some point.

Same here, though probably haven't written the rants about it (but I've 
had them).

It was always frustrating for me to have female friends who would come to 
me to talk about their "boyfriend problems".

Jim

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On 8/16/2010 4:21 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:

> It's worth pointing out, though that just because someone doesn't have
> the ability to deal properly with social situations that they have any
> degree of Asperger's.  There are other important markers for Asperger's
> that are often overlooked by those who aren't trained to recognise them.

Yep. A whole constellation of symptoms. My point was that what Shay was 
describing was not necessarily Aspergers, and more than likely not.

-- 
~Mike

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On 8/16/2010 4:23 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:

> It was always frustrating for me to have female friends who would come to
> me to talk about their "boyfriend problems".

Yup. Even more frustrating is the appearance of not learning from 
previous mistakes. Seems some women have a preference for dirtbags. ;)

Whatever. I'm happy where I am.. :D

-- 
~Mike

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On Tue, 17 Aug 2010 08:44:27 -0500, Mike Raiford wrote:

> On 8/16/2010 4:23 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:
> 
>> It was always frustrating for me to have female friends who would come
>> to me to talk about their "boyfriend problems".
> 
> Yup. Even more frustrating is the appearance of not learning from
> previous mistakes. Seems some women have a preference for dirtbags. ;)
> 
> Whatever. I'm happy where I am.. :D

As am I. :-)

Jim

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