On 10/08/2010 12:01 PM, Warp wrote:
> Stephen<mca### [at] aoldotcom>  wrote:
>> On 04/08/2010 1:58 PM, Warp wrote:
>>>     For some reason I found this quite touching:
>>>
>>> http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html
>>>
>
>> To me he sounds like a self pitying wimp.
>
>    That comment sounds quite arrogant to me. You don't know his situation,
> you don't know his personality, you don't know exactly what happened. For
> some reason you are assuming dishonesty (if not in any other form, at least
> in the form of the author deluding himself, thus being dishonest to himself).
>
>    Why does everything have to be taken on bad faith? Why cannot honesty
> and objectivity be assumed by default? Are we so cynical that everybody
> must be assumed to be dishonest liars until proven otherwise?
>

I suppose that without any qualifying statements it could be seen as 
arrogant. But it is a statement of fact that, it is how his rant seems 
to me. A disappointed person who has gone out of his way to have a 
platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex and is 
frustrated when things did not work out the way he wanted them. Then 
whinges about women in general when he really is talking about one woman 
specifically. This reeks of misogynism to me. But then, I like the 
company of women, prefering them to men actually.


nice a guy as he obviously thinks he is. Which agrees with your point 
that I think that he is deluding himself.
If you read what he wrote on more than a surface level you can see that 
he believes he is a paragon of virtue. Paragraph starting, See, if you 

to the world lots the of truly evil things she has done to him such as 
laughing at him and saying that she denied having any romantic feelings 

hate people that talk about themselves in the third person?
He then goes on (in the third person, again) to imply how successful he 
is even suggesting that he has had SEX. OMG!






-- 

Best Regards,
	Stephen

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Shay wrote:
> So, the problem isn't necessarily with my opinion but with my having one 
> at all?

It just sounded like something a bit more assertive than an opinion. Perhaps 
I was reading into the statement more than it warranted, based on your 
earlier assumptions and your hostile tone.

-- 
Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
    C# - a language whose greatest drawback
    is that its best implementation comes
    from a company that doesn't hate Microsoft.

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On 8/9/2010 4:24 PM, Shay wrote:
>
> The original author feels *exactly* that way (minus the part about
> sharing feelings and emotions [this type only does so when he feels it's
> expedient]). There are a lot of people out there who, due to some
> psychosis or Aspergers or their just being pricks, see others (not just
> women) as sentient objects which can be controlled with the correct input.
>

Neither psychotic nor Asperger's would be the case for that line of 
thinking. More like sociopathic or psychopathic. Psychotic generally 
involves delusions and hallucinations. Asperger's just simply don't have 
the faculty to deal properly with social situations, and so are socially 
awkward, but do not view others as some sort of game piece.

Sociopaths on the other hand do: If they can use someone for personal 
gain, they will. They have no empathy for others.

-- 
~Mike

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On 8/9/2010 5:45 PM, Shay wrote:
> On 08/09/2010 05:16 PM, Darren New wrote:
>> Shay wrote:
>>> The original author feels *exactly* that way
>>
>> Oh? What's his name?
>
> ¿¿¿¿ "A Recovering Nice Guy" ????
>
> Why?
>
>>
>>> They don't have true friends, because it's impossible to obligate
>>> someone into true friendship.
>>
>> I feel really bad for you.
>
> Huh?

Yeah ... I don't get that either.

> Because I think the "Recovering Nice Guy" is really full of crap?
> Because I'm unfortunate enough to have met a few of that type in my life?

I don't really see RNG as being full of crap, but rather angry and 
bitter at his life experience. I can't say I blame him, since these are 
his perceptions of the world. I've definitely felt that way at times, 
myself. Especially when my ex wife left me for someone else who was a 
total ass, but then it worked out for the better for me.

But... what type exactly do you mean? Jaded? Yeah, some people can be 
jaded by the actions of others. You certainly do have a different 
perspective on things though.

-- 
~Mike

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On 8/9/2010 11:23 PM, Shay wrote:

> And I'll bet most of those frat-boy types grow up to be loving husbands
> and fathers. I've seen it happen many times.

Mmhmm. I've not quite seen that. The ones I've observed have pretty much 
continued on their ways. Usually ending in divorce or worse. But then, 
my sampling may not be typical.

> And there are plenty of genuine nice guys in the world. Most of the ones
> I've known have had healthy and plentiful relationships with women.

There are. For certain. I'm sure most keep their frustrations with 
dating to themselves and don't go on paragraphs-long rants on 
Craigslist, as well.

> The creep OTOH has always remained a creep IME.

The same could be said about the frat-boy always remains the frat-boy. 
Of course, my definition of creep may different. The creep IMO is the 
guy who keeps making unwanted advances after being told to back off. 
That *is* creepy behavior. And yeah, that's true ... I don't think they 
change. But, I've never hung around long enough with the truly creepy to 
make a good judgment of that.

-- 
~Mike

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On 16/08/2010 1:18 PM, Mike Raiford wrote:
> I've definitely felt that way at times, myself. Especially when my ex
> wife left me for someone else who was a total ass, but then it worked
> out for the better for me.

Well as my old grandmother used to say. "What's for you won't go past you."

'Glad it has worked out. :-)

-- 

Best Regards,
	Stephen

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On 8/8/2010 11:42 AM, Darren New wrote:

> He's not bemoaning not getting laid, per se. He's bemoaning getting
> treated like crap when he's nice, discarded for people who are not nice,
> and being used for the thing's he's nice at without being around when
> she's having fun. There's only so long even the nicest guy will be an
> emotional tampon before he moves on.

That is exactly it. He resents being treated like a doormat. Something I 
have a lot of familiarity with, unfortunately.

-- 
~Mike

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On 8/7/2010 1:22 PM, Jim Henderson wrote:

> bs, I'm a geek and married.  My wife's a geek too.

^^ What he said, minus the wife part. She's not a geek, but she 
tolerates my geekery :D

I've also been in former nice guy's position as well. Jaded, Bitter 
about the world and about people in general. Feels like he was a 
doormat. Been there, done that, probably written a few ill-advised rants 
myself at some point.

-- 
~Mike

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On Mon, 16 Aug 2010 07:11:35 -0500, Mike Raiford wrote:

> Asperger's just simply don't have
> the faculty to deal properly with social situations, and so are socially
> awkward, but do not view others as some sort of game piece.

It's worth pointing out, though that just because someone doesn't have 
the ability to deal properly with social situations that they have any 
degree of Asperger's.  There are other important markers for Asperger's 
that are often overlooked by those who aren't trained to recognise them.

Jim

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On Mon, 16 Aug 2010 07:37:49 -0500, Mike Raiford wrote:

> I've also been in former nice guy's position as well. Jaded, Bitter
> about the world and about people in general. Feels like he was a
> doormat. Been there, done that, probably written a few ill-advised rants
> myself at some point.

Same here, though probably haven't written the rants about it (but I've 
had them).

It was always frustrating for me to have female friends who would come to 
me to talk about their "boyfriend problems".

Jim

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