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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> I don't care what they thought of me. I *do* care that two people
> publically humilliated me...
You can only be humiliated by yourself, not others.
--
Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
Understanding the structure of the universe
via religion is like understanding the
structure of computers via Tron.
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] dev null> wrote in message
news:4a998607@news.povray.org...
> This seems to be the general theme in everything I try, whether I'm
> looking to meet a girl or just make a few friends. Everywhere I do, I
> have nothing in common with anybody. I'm always the odd one out.
Being self centered like that won't help. Once you realize universe does not
revolve around you and that other people may have qualities worth learning
about, it will be a lot easier. If you find it hard to take a genuine
interest in others, you'll just have to learn to fake it.
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On Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:08:04 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> I don't care what they thought of me. I *do* care that two people
> publically humilliated me...
Why do you care what the other people in the pub thought? Their opinions
matter as much as the two who put you down.
Jim
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Darren New wrote:
> You can only be humiliated by yourself, not others.
Pardon my French, but that's rather BS. Same for the old saw about
sticks and stones. Our emotions are affected by external stimuli. In
fact, pretty much entirely. Even if it's an internalised reaction to
something, the origin is external. Variances in brain chemistry only
serve to augment things (even if vastly), not spontaneously generate
from whole cloth.
--
Tim Cook
http://empyrean.freesitespace.net
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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:4a99576e$1@news.povray.org...
> Really? Wow, I'd not observed that myself, but I've only got about a
> month's experience in the country. :-)
When were you here? It's really only over the last 5 years that I've
noticed how much more aggressive people have become. Of course that
aggression has always been there, but now there are crowds and crowds of it
instead of just a drunken punch up between two bully boys.
And of course, I can't say that for every town as I haven't been to
every town, I'm sure some are ok... I think.
~Steve~
>
> Jim
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>> Anyway, if you meet people at a bar, you're going to meet people who
>> like going out to bars. Given that I don't, this is probably not a
>> good idea.
>
> That's true. So then the question just becomes finding something you
> enjoy where there are other people.
Except that all the things I enjoy doing are solitary activities. (With
the exception of snogging. You really need a partner for that...)
>>> Keep going out, having fun, and don't worry about whether or not
>>> you'll find anyone. Just have a good time, and take advantage of
>>> whatever opportunities present themselves :)
>>
>> That's just it. Sitting alone in a room full of people staring at me
>> like I'm a bug-eyed monster is *not fun*. There has to be a better way...
>
> Well, then try a club, or a dance hall, or something. Find someplace
> with a pool table, and at least you won't just be sitting there.
Well, I've tried all the things they recommand. Pubs and clubs aren't
much fun, but I tried anyway. I tried taking evening classes; that
didn't work. I used to ski regularly; everybody's too busy to chat
though. I started taking dance lessons. It's quite fun, but I'm not
really meeting people very much. Not sure what the hell to try next.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> This seems to be the general theme in everything I try, whether I'm
>> looking to meet a girl or just make a few friends. Everywhere I do, I
>> have nothing in common with anybody. I'm always the odd one out.
>
> Being self centered like that won't help. Once you realize universe does not
> revolve around you and that other people may have qualities worth learning
> about, it will be a lot easier. If you find it hard to take a genuine
> interest in others, you'll just have to learn to fake it.
It just seems everywhere I go, everybody else falls into a completely
different age group to me.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:
> Except that all the things I enjoy doing are solitary activities. (With
> the exception of snogging. You really need a partner for that...)
"Snogging: characteristic of spoken or written communication that seeks
to imitate informal speech"
Well, I suppose it's not very rewarding if there's nobody to hear you... ;)
--
- Warp
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> This seems to be the general theme in everything I try, whether I'm
>>> looking to meet a girl or just make a few friends. Everywhere I do, I
>>> have nothing in common with anybody. I'm always the odd one out.
>>
>>
>> Being self centered like that won't help. Once you realize universe
>> does not
>> revolve around you and that other people may have qualities worth
>> learning
>> about, it will be a lot easier. If you find it hard to take a genuine
>> interest in others, you'll just have to learn to fake it.
>
>
> It just seems everywhere I go, everybody else falls into a completely
> different age group to me.
>
So maybe they know someone who is. But if you treat them like you treat
us and spend all day pissing and moaning then they wouldn't want to
introduce you, and if you don't interact at all, same thing.
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Tim Cook wrote:
> Darren New wrote:
>> You can only be humiliated by yourself, not others.
>
> Pardon my French, but that's rather BS.
I suppose if you haven't learned not to be humiliated.
> Our emotions are affected by external stimuli. In
> fact, pretty much entirely. Even if it's an internalised reaction to
> something, the origin is external.
Humiliation, as an emotion, is internal. The external stimulus does not
necessarily make it occur.
It's no harder to avoid being humiliated by clowns making fun of you than it
is to not be frightened by horror movies. You merely need to recognise and
internalize that the opinions of strangers who you don't know and will never
see again are irrelevant to you.
Similarly, you can be embarrassed you made a mistake, or you can accept that
you sometimes make mistakes and say "Oops, I made a mistake" and move on
with your life.
> Variances in brain chemistry only
> serve to augment things (even if vastly), not spontaneously generate
> from whole cloth.
I haven't any idea what that has to do with the topic.
--
Darren New, San Diego CA, USA (PST)
Understanding the structure of the universe
via religion is like understanding the
structure of computers via Tron.
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