On Tuesday afternoon, I had a 7 minute conversation with the cleaning 
lady about my weekend away. Considering that her job is to come in, 
empty my bin, and leave, keeping her here for 7 minutes isn't bad going.

That got me in a rather reflective mood.

My life currently is an unmitigated failure. I have a job I hate that 
pays me peanuts, I spend almost my entire life completely alone, and I 
am constantly bored, lonely and depressed. Despite a large amount of 
effort, I have utterly failed to fix this miserable situation.

On the other hand... if you squint hard enough, you can almost see a few 
minor signs of improvement.



When I left school, the idea of walking down the street by myself with 
nobody to protect me was utterly terrifying. People tend to exaggerate 
things like this; "oh I'm *terrified* of the exam next month". So let me 
explain exactly what I mean.

I would go to absurd lengths to avoid having to go anywhere on foot 
alone. Even travelling by bicycle isn't much better; somebody could 
still chase after you and conceivably catch you. Or just throw things at 
you. So it's only slightly better than walking.

When I actually had to walk somewhere, I was in a state of utter panic. 
I would be physically shaking like a leaf. I'd become dizzy from my 
shallow breathing. Forget sweaty palms, I would have liquid water 
actually *dripping* off of my body, even though I wasn't actually hot. 
In fact, I'd often end up shivering with cold as well as fear. (Oddly 
enough, sweating tends to make you cold...)

I would walk to wherever I was going as fast as possible without 
actually running. I would do my best to avoid looking directly at any 
people so I wouldn't make them angry. So basically, I would look only at 
the ground - almost to the point of bumping into obsticles I hadn't seen 
in front of me. I was so sure that any second now, somebody was going to 
jump out of the bushes or appear from some side street to beat the **** 
out of me.



Buying things was out of the question. Just being around other people 
was very stressful - so many people, and no way to know which one was 
going to attack me. Buying things often involves queueing up - and I 
always seemed to get that thing where you can't figure out where the 
hell the line actually starts, or you queue up for the wrong thing, or 
people constantly push in front of you and you never actually get to the 
front of the line.

And then there's the part where you get to the front and have to pay for 
stuff. I was always terrified of handing over the wrong amount of money 
or something. (Or worse, not having enough - though usually that wasn't 
a possibility.) I don't know how other people do it, but it always seems 
to take me hours to put away small change. And it just looks clumsy and 
unskilful. Nobody else seems to have a problem.



Whenever we went out for a meal, my mum used to like to make me go to 
the desk to order the food - just because she knew how much it upset me. 
Remembering 3 orders doesn't sound challenging, but when you're plagued 
with self-doubt, you end up constantly second-guessing yourself. "She 
said she wanted X, didn't she? Oh, but she also said Y? But she decided 
to have X instead. Or did she? Damnit, I can't remember now!"

And then, on top of the whole queueing thing and having the right money 
and so forth, you have to actually *tell* the person which table you're 
at and what food you want. Catastrophy lurks at every corner. What if 
they don't understand what I'm saying? What if I can't understand what 
they're telling me? Then they'd think I'm stupid. What if something 
isn't available and I have to get something else? What if they ask me 
questions? *I* have no idea whether my sister wants her pie with 
potatoes or fries!



Making or receiving phone calls was similarly terrifying. Even if the 
person at the other end was somebody I knew. What if now is a bad time? 
What if they just happen to be in a bad mood today? What if I can't hear 
them properly? What if they get angry at me for being so stupid? You'd 
tihnk, rationally, that calling, say, a car insurance renewal line would 
be a simple matter - it's their *job* to be nice to customers. But even 
that frightened me. What if they asked me questions I didn't understand? 
What if I said something wrong? It was all so scary.



All of these things terrified me, but I occasionally did them. Talking 
to girls was something I never did. Ever. I simply didn't ever meet any. 
Quite simply, my bedroom doesn't have any girls in it. Nor did my class 
at school. Nor did my class at college. And even at uni there was a tiny 
number of girls. (Unless you count "married with children, 20 years 
older than me" as "girls". Even if you do, the count doesn't go up by 
very much.)

Ever since I was about 12 years old, I was *fascinated* by girls. I 
wanted to find out about them. I wanted to be around them. And I wanted 
to have a girlfriend. (As far as I can tell, this is normal.)

I presume what normally happens next is that you start interacting with 
girls, figure out they're just normal people, and continue with the rest 
of your life. I haven't really reached this stage yet. Certainly when I 
left school I hadn't. People in general terrified my, but cute girls 
most especially. I wanted them, but I was terrified of them. It was very 
confusing...



Where am I today? Well, all of these things still make me nervous, but 
none of them *terrify* me the way they used to.

I still dislike walking anywhere by myself without somebody to protect 
me. I just find it very difficult to walk along and look nonchalant and 
stuff when I'm worrying about what everybody must be thinging of me - 
the way I walk, the way I dress, the way my face looks, etc. I still try 
to avoid looking at other people too much because I don't want to 
provoke an aggressive response. But it's mild shyness, nothing more.

Actually, being in a crowd is a little easier. In a crowd you can be 
pretty sure nobody is looking at you. When I walk down a quiet street it 
feels like the whole world is standing and watching me walk past. But in 
a crowd, there's far too much going on, and most people just ignore you.

Internet shopping is a wonderful thing, but I do go to real shops from 
time to time. (*cough* Tesco *cough* Maplin *cough* Pizza Hut) When I'm 
in Maplin, I even sometimes chat to the staff in there. Restraunts don't 
really worry me much, but I do still feel a little nervous going to 
Pizza Hut. (I find their Asian voices difficult to understand.)

I *still* hate making phone calls! Or at least, I hate making calls to 
people I know aren't going to be pleased to hear my voice. I actually 
*enjoy* calling my friends - not that I have many yet.

And oh my God - I almost can't believe that I have an actual friend who 
is also a *girl*. ;-) Actually, I'm hoping to meet up with her this 
weekend. I haven't seen her in ages, but I've phoned her quite a bit. 
It'll be good to see her flesh - uh, I mean, "it'll be good to see her 
in the flesh". o_O

Ah, who am I kidding? :-P



When you look back on it all though... being too scared to walk down the 
street in broad daylight is *not normal*. Surely something like that 
indicates that serious Professional Help is required? So why am I not 
getting any? Hmm...

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

Post a reply to this message

If your goal is to be happier and feel more comfortable around people, than 
it might be in your best interests to find a mental health professional with 
whom you feel comfortable. I don't think you are sick or anything; you 
function well, you don't hear voices, I don't believe you are a substance 
abuser, but you have trouble in certain social settings where most people 
don't. Start looking for a new job and be prepared to be assertive in your 
interviews. A new setting, as stressful as it might be, will help you get 
out of your emotional rut. You are still young enough to turn things all the 
way around and be able to have the kind of life you desire, you just need to 
fix a few things and that will be a lot easier to do now then later. Oh, and 
don't let snarky remarks from people you only know on the Internet bother 
you ;-)


-- 
H²

Post a reply to this message

Halbert wrote:
> If your goal is to be happier and feel more comfortable around people, than 
> it might be in your best interests to find a mental health professional with 
> whom you feel comfortable.

Easier said than done.

> Start looking for a new job and be prepared to be assertive in your 
> interviews. A new setting, as stressful as it might be, will help you get 
> out of your emotional rut.

Yeah. I think I might have already gained a reputation where I am 
currently. (And besides, where I am currently just makes me miserable!)

> You are still young enough to turn things all the way around.

I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my 
life is almost over now".

What I *should* have done is sort all this out back when I was at Uni. 
But it's kinda too late now. :-(

> Oh, and 
> don't let snarky remarks from people you only know on the Internet bother 
> you ;-)

Yeah, well... ;-)

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

Post a reply to this message

"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a53636$1@news.povray.org...
>
> I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my
> life is almost over now".
>

At 30?

I'm a year older and as far as I'm concerned, the fun's just starting....
To quote a friend (speaking to the other people in the car at the time, aged
between 25 and 31) "You're a bunch of bloody kids"

Post a reply to this message

Gail Shaw <initialsurname@sentech sa dot com> wrote:
> "Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
> news:48a53636$1@news.povray.org...
> >
> > I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my
> > life is almost over now".

> At 30?

> I'm a year older and as far as I'm concerned, the fun's just starting....
> To quote a friend (speaking to the other people in the car at the time, aged
> between 25 and 31) "You're a bunch of bloody kids"

  When you turn 30, your youth is officially behind, so you are not young
anymore. Now you are middle-aged. Expect existential crises, weight gain
and slow but inevitable deterioration of health.

  Being there, doing that...

-- 
                                                          - Warp

Post a reply to this message

Warp wrote:

>   Being there, doing that...

Funny, I pegged you as being younger than I..

Post a reply to this message

Mike Raiford <mra### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
> Warp wrote:
> >   Being there, doing that...

> Funny, I pegged you as being younger than I..

  Are you insituating my behavior is immature and juvenile? ;)

  For the record, I'm 34.

-- 
                                                          - Warp

Post a reply to this message

Warp wrote:

>   Are you insituating my behavior is immature and juvenile? ;)
> 
>   For the record, I'm 34.

Heh. I know people much older than that who's behaviour is immature and 
juvenile. ;-)

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

Post a reply to this message

> I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my 
> life is almost over now".

Oh please! I was born 16 years before you were and I think I still have 
quite a few good years ahead. You have trained yourself to think negatively. 
If you could try to have a better attitude, you will find it goes a long way 
to making things better.
And, yes I know these things are easier said than done. But I suppose it all 
depends on whether you think it's worth the effort.

-- 
H²

Post a reply to this message

Warp wrote:
> 
>   Are you insituating my behavior is immature and juvenile? ;)

Oh, no. I would never :) You just possess a youthful exuberance on these 
forums is all. :)

>   For the record, I'm 34.
> 

For all practical purposes, only slightly older than I am.

Post a reply to this message

"Gail Shaw" <initialsurname@sentech sa dot com> wrote in message
news:48a5419c@news.povray.org...
> "Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message

> > I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my
> > life is almost over now".

> At 30?
>
> I'm a year older and as far as I'm concerned, the fun's just starting....

30 is not the "end of life", of course - unless you are an olympian or a
mathematician - but it's an age where the best years of one's live are most
certainly over. Ages 20-25 is where humans peak both mentally and physically
(generally speaking, there are of course rare exceptions). It's all downhill
from there.

> To quote a friend (speaking to the other people in the car at the time,
aged
> between 25 and 31) "You're a bunch of bloody kids"

Well, there's always denial <g>.

Post a reply to this message

Warp wrote:
>   When you turn 30, your youth is officially behind, so you are not young
> anymore. Now you are middle-aged. 

Pretty much.

Middle age is when you start trimming your nose and ear hair.

Old age is when you stop bothering. :-)


-- 
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)

Post a reply to this message

On Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:23:40 +0100, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:

>
>When I left school, the idea of walking down the street by myself with 
>nobody to protect me was utterly terrifying.


I've been meaning to say. Have you ever thought of going to a martial arts
class? With your size and build you would do well at judo. If you don't fancy
wrestling (sometimes with ladies, OMG) you could give aikido a try.
It does build up your confidence and you get to meet people. I see that MK has
Aikido, Judo, Jui Jitsu, Karate, Tae Kwon-do and Tai Chi. I would not recommend
Jui Jitsu, Karate or Tae Kwon-do but the others are quite gentle.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

Gail Shaw wrote:
> "Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
> news:48a53636$1@news.povray.org...
>> I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my
>> life is almost over now".
> 
> At 30?
> 
> I'm a year older and as far as I'm concerned, the fun's just starting....
> To quote a friend (speaking to the other people in the car at the time, aged
> between 25 and 31) "You're a bunch of bloody kids"

I just turned 31.. seven days ago. I don't feel like I've accomplished 
very much... some minor accomplishments which don't make much difference 
in the overall scheme of things.

Thank goodness I was a late bloomer. I still have room to grow :) Many 
of my friends from back in the day are now going bald and looking old, 
while I'm unable to grow more than a goatee. Must be the Native American 
blood.

But 31 does seem like a threshold, like I've tipped over the edge and am 
coasting, coasting into (gasp) olde age. Oh well, we all get old! No 
need to go out and buy sports cars and zipper jackets. Lol, zipper 
jackets. Like it's still the 80s or something ;)

Sam

Post a reply to this message

Invisible wrote:
> I still dislike walking anywhere by myself without somebody to protect 
> me. I just find it very difficult to walk along and look nonchalant and 
> stuff when I'm worrying about what everybody must be thinging of me - 
> the way I walk, the way I dress, the way my face looks, etc.

This part sounds a bit like me, though I was not afraid to walk alone 
for fear of getting my ass beat, but because I was super-self-conscious 
about the way I walked and about my appearance in general. I thought I 
walked funny, but I could never quite put my finger on *why* my gait was 
odd. I always felt like people were watching me, judging me and thinking 
I was stupid because I never felt normal when I walked. "Look at that 
retard, he can't even walk normally!" As it turns out, my stride was a 
little different than everybody else's, due to my long legs and short 
torso. One good thing my ex gf did for me was to encourage me to put 
emphasis into the movement of my knees, which has helped me smooth out 
my steps and keep my head from bobbing too much. I'm still 
self-conscious, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.

> And oh my God - I almost can't believe that I have an actual friend who 
> is also a *girl*. ;-)
> 
> So why am I not getting any? Hmm...

Hmm, indeed. :)

Sam

Post a reply to this message

On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:19:07 -0700, stbenge
<THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:

>Oh well, we all get old!

If we are lucky ;)
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

>> I still dislike walking anywhere by myself without somebody to protect 
>> me. I just find it very difficult to walk along and look nonchalant 
>> and stuff when I'm worrying about what everybody must be thinging of 
>> me - the way I walk, the way I dress, the way my face looks, etc.
> 
> This part sounds a bit like me, though I was not afraid to walk alone 
> for fear of getting my ass beat, but because I was super-self-conscious 
> about the way I walked and about my appearance in general. I thought I 
> walked funny, but I could never quite put my finger on *why* my gait was 
> odd. I always felt like people were watching me, judging me and thinking 
> I was stupid because I never felt normal when I walked. "Look at that 
> retard, he can't even walk normally!" As it turns out, my stride was a 
> little different than everybody else's, due to my long legs and short 
> torso. One good thing my ex gf did for me was to encourage me to put 
> emphasis into the movement of my knees, which has helped me smooth out 
> my steps and keep my head from bobbing too much. I'm still 
> self-conscious, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.

I'm thinking maybe I should take speach therapy to see if I can learn to 
stop talking like somebody with a brain disorder. I'm not sure if it'll 
work though...

>> And oh my God - I almost can't believe that I have an actual friend 
>> who is also a *girl*. ;-)
>>
>> So why am I not getting any? Hmm...
> 
> Hmm, indeed. :)

:-P

Ask me *after* Sunday.

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

Post a reply to this message

Stephen wrote:

> I've been meaning to say. Have you ever thought of going to a martial arts
> class? With your size and build you would do well at judo. If you don't fancy
> wrestling (sometimes with ladies, OMG) you could give aikido a try.
> It does build up your confidence and you get to meet people. I see that MK has
> Aikido, Judo, Jui Jitsu, Karate, Tae Kwon-do and Tai Chi. I would not recommend
> Jui Jitsu, Karate or Tae Kwon-do but the others are quite gentle.

OK, two things.

1. Even having an actual gun in your pocket won't help you if you're 
outnumbered. I don't think this would make me feel any safer.

2. I'd be far too shy to even attempt to do something like this. I'd be 
too afraid of making an idiot of myself in front of everybody else.

(As one of my sister's many boyfriends once explained, his Jui Jitsu 
instructor once explained to the class "if a bunch of guys start picking 
on you in the street, *run away*! Don't try to do Jui Jitsu on them. It 
won't work.")

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

Post a reply to this message

Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> 1. Even having an actual gun in your pocket won't help you if you're 
> outnumbered. I don't think this would make me feel any safer.

"You can't shoot us all!"
    "I know. Who is first?"

-- 
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)

Post a reply to this message

Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>> This part sounds a bit like me, though I was not afraid to walk alone 
>> for fear of getting my ass beat, but because I was 
>> super-self-conscious about the way I walked and about my appearance in 
>> general.
> 
> I'm thinking maybe I should take speach therapy to see if I can learn to 
> stop talking like somebody with a brain disorder. I'm not sure if it'll 
> work though...

Well, it could help. I used to be self-conscious about my speaking 
habits too. I would try to talk fast so that people wouldn't think I was 
stupid, but as a result I found myself messing up way too often. I try 
to talk at a steady pace now, and have found that I can be understood 
more clearly. I don't withhold large words or concepts anymore, either. 
People respect you for treating them as an equal, not some elite jerk. 
(I'm not accusing you of this, for the record)


>>> And oh my God - I almost can't believe that I have an actual friend 
>>> who is also a *girl*. ;-)
>>>
>>> So why am I not getting any? Hmm...
>>
>> Hmm, indeed. :)
> 
> :-P
> 
> Ask me *after* Sunday.
> 

Hey, good luck! Maybe you'll get married and have children soon. Who 
knows, maybe your shyness is actually due to your wanting a real 
relationship, not some fling. Oh wait, that was me :)

Sam

Post a reply to this message

Stephen wrote:
> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:19:07 -0700, stbenge
> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
> 
>> Oh well, we all get old!
> 
> If we are lucky ;)

Luck is an open-ended concept...

Sam

Post a reply to this message

"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a5d359$1@news.povray.org...

> > torso. One good thing my ex gf did for me was to encourage me to put
> > emphasis into the movement of my knees, which has helped me smooth out
> > my steps and keep my head from bobbing too much. I'm still
> > self-conscious, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.

> I'm thinking maybe I should take speach therapy to see if I can learn to
> stop talking like somebody with a brain disorder. I'm not sure if it'll
> work though...

You'd be surprised how little other people care about how you walk, how you
talk, or about you in general.

(Not sure though if that's a good thing or not).

Post a reply to this message

somebody wrote:
> "Gail Shaw" <initialsurname@sentech sa dot com> wrote in message
> news:48a5419c@news.povray.org...
>> "Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
> 
>>> I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my
>>> life is almost over now".
> 
>> At 30?
>>
>> I'm a year older and as far as I'm concerned, the fun's just starting....
> 
> 30 is not the "end of life", of course - unless you are an olympian or a
> mathematician - but it's an age where the best years of one's live are most
> certainly over. Ages 20-25 is where humans peak both mentally and physically
> (generally speaking, there are of course rare exceptions). It's all downhill
> from there.
> 

If I peeked at 20-25, I should just cart myself off to a retirement home.

>> To quote a friend (speaking to the other people in the car at the time,
> aged
>> between 25 and 31) "You're a bunch of bloody kids"
> 
> Well, there's always denial <g>.
> 
> 

Don't tell me that, I've got another year before I turn 30! I refuse to 
believe that it's downhill after this. My goal is at least two gallery 
openings in one year!

It's an odd age though, at least for me. I'm stuck working with 40-60 
year old tenured professors on one side, and not even drinking age kids 
on the other. Caught betwixt cheerleaders on one side pushing envelopes 
and creating new challenges, and the 'meh, buy us beer' attitude on the 
other.

Post a reply to this message

somebody wrote:
> "Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
> news:48a5d359$1@news.povray.org...
> 
>>> torso. One good thing my ex gf did for me was to encourage me to put
>>> emphasis into the movement of my knees, which has helped me smooth out
>>> my steps and keep my head from bobbing too much. I'm still
>>> self-conscious, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.
> 
>> I'm thinking maybe I should take speach therapy to see if I can learn to
>> stop talking like somebody with a brain disorder. I'm not sure if it'll
>> work though...
> 
> You'd be surprised how little other people care about how you walk, how you
> talk, or about you in general.
> 
> (Not sure though if that's a good thing or not).
> 
> 

You would be surprised at how much they notice, whether they admit it or 
not. Put a pebble in your shoe and walk with a limp, see how many people 
notice. I walk with a limp, never noticed it in high school till someone 
close by pointed it out. I assumed no one else noticed at all, that 
couldn't be why people out in large public areas watched me walk past, 
not at all.

I found that giving them a clue to why I limp, carrying a cane, gets 
less of a stare. They can process a lot quicker 'oh, she's got a hurt 
leg' instead of 'I wonder why that person is limping.'

If you really want to see how people file away their first impressions, 
though, you need bigger issues then a persons gait.

Post a reply to this message

On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:26:52 -0700, stbenge
<THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:

>Stephen wrote:
>> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:19:07 -0700, stbenge
>> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>> 
>>> Oh well, we all get old!
>> 
>> If we are lucky ;)
>
>Luck is an open-ended concept...
>


Ooo! deep! ;)
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

Stephen wrote:
> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:26:52 -0700, stbenge
> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
> 
>> Stephen wrote:
>>> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:19:07 -0700, stbenge
>>> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Oh well, we all get old!
>>> If we are lucky ;)
>> Luck is an open-ended concept...
>>
> 
> 
> Ooo! deep! ;)

Hey, makin' fun of me? ;)

Sam

Post a reply to this message

On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:08:29 +0100, Orchid XP v8 <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:

>
>OK, two things.
>
>1. Even having an actual gun in your pocket won't help you if you're 
>outnumbered. I don't think this would make me feel any safer.

Misunderstanding due to a common misconception. 
I did not mean to imply that knowing how to fight would make you safer. But
studying aikido or judo would improve your confidence, over time. For instance
carrying a gun or a knife actually makes you more likely to get injured,
probably due to a sense of over confidence. Knowing your true abilities and
limits makes you a rounder person.


>2. I'd be far too shy to even attempt to do something like this. I'd be 
>too afraid of making an idiot of myself in front of everybody else.

That is a problem but sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do.
Anyway its fun after you get over the initial embarrassment. Well I thought so.

>(As one of my sister's many boyfriends once explained, his Jui Jitsu 
>instructor once explained to the class "if a bunch of guys start picking 
>on you in the street, *run away*! Don't try to do Jui Jitsu on them. It 
>won't work.")

Sensible, lots of people believe the movies and that can be dangerous. If you
know that you can then you don't need to prove anything.
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:33:30 -0700, stbenge
<THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:

>Stephen wrote:
>> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:26:52 -0700, stbenge
>> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>> 
>>> Stephen wrote:
>>>> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:19:07 -0700, stbenge
>>>> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Oh well, we all get old!
>>>> If we are lucky ;)
>>> Luck is an open-ended concept...
>>>
>> 
>> 
>> Ooo! deep! ;)
>
>Hey, makin' fun of me? ;)
>

Was that a request or a complaint? :-)
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

Post a reply to this message

"Sabrina Kilian" <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote in message
news:48a5e02a$1@news.povray.org...
> somebody wrote:

> > certainly over. Ages 20-25 is where humans peak both mentally and
physically
> > (generally speaking, there are of course rare exceptions). It's all
downhill
> > from there.

> If I peeked at 20-25, I should just cart myself off to a retirement home.

If I had any sense when I was 18-28, I'd have "retired" for that period and
enjoyed it as much as possible while it lasted. While it's still far off,
I'm not looking to retiring at 65. Even assuming I'll live that long,
retirement will be wasted at that age and beyond.

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"Sabrina Kilian" <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote in message
news:48a5e1f5$1@news.povray.org...
> somebody wrote:

> > You'd be surprised how little other people care about how you walk, how
you
> > talk, or about you in general.

> You would be surprised at how much they notice, whether they admit it or
> not. Put a pebble in your shoe and walk with a limp, see how many people
> notice.

Ah, but I was talking about "caring", not "noticing" <g>.

> I walk with a limp, never noticed it in high school till someone
> close by pointed it out.

See how long it took to come across someone who *cared* enough to point it
out.

> I found that giving them a clue to why I limp, carrying a cane, gets
> less of a stare. They can process a lot quicker 'oh, she's got a hurt
> leg' instead of 'I wonder why that person is limping.'

True.

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On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:52:48 -0600, "somebody" <x### [at] ycom> wrote:

>"Sabrina Kilian" <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote in message
>news:48a5e02a$1@news.povray.org...
>> somebody wrote:
>
>> > certainly over. Ages 20-25 is where humans peak both mentally and
>physically
>> > (generally speaking, there are of course rare exceptions). It's all
>downhill
>> > from there.
>
>> If I peeked at 20-25, I should just cart myself off to a retirement home.
>
>If I had any sense when I was 18-28, I'd have "retired" for that period and
>enjoyed it as much as possible while it lasted. While it's still far off,
>I'm not looking to retiring at 65. Even assuming I'll live that long,
>retirement will be wasted at that age and beyond.
>

If you can remember 18 ~ 28 then you weren't there. ;)
And who says that you have to retire at 65?
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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"Stephen" <mcavoysAT@aolDOTcom> wrote in message 
news:dgrba4t2m7ceoimtgb7hv3d4gr6jts09i1@4ax.com...
> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:52:48 -0600, "somebody" <x### [at] ycom> wrote:
>
>>"Sabrina Kilian" <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote in message
>>news:48a5e02a$1@news.povray.org...
>>> somebody wrote:
>>
>>> > certainly over. Ages 20-25 is where humans peak both mentally and
>>physically
>>> > (generally speaking, there are of course rare exceptions). It's all
>>downhill
>>> > from there.
>>
>>> If I peeked at 20-25, I should just cart myself off to a retirement 
>>> home.
>>
>>If I had any sense when I was 18-28, I'd have "retired" for that period 
>>and
>>enjoyed it as much as possible while it lasted. While it's still far off,
>>I'm not looking to retiring at 65. Even assuming I'll live that long,
>>retirement will be wasted at that age and beyond.
>>
>
> If you can remember 18 ~ 28 then you weren't there. ;)

  Heh... ;)


> And who says that you have to retire at 65?

 Yep, in my work, we never retire. No such thing.

    ~Steve~


> -- 
>
> Regards
>     Stephen

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Stephen wrote:
> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:33:30 -0700, stbenge
> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>> Stephen wrote:
>>> Ooo! deep! ;)
>> Hey, makin' fun of me? ;)
> 
> Was that a request or a complaint? :-)

A request, of course! I'm available for parties and other social events. 
  Don't forget that I can also be your fall guy or scapegoat! Look good 
in any situation, hire a whipping boy!

Sam

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"stbenge" <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote in message 
news:48a5f550$1@news.povray.org...
> Stephen wrote:
>> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:33:30 -0700, stbenge
>> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>>> Stephen wrote:
>>>> Ooo! deep! ;)
>>> Hey, makin' fun of me? ;)
>>
>> Was that a request or a complaint? :-)
>
> A request, of course! I'm available for parties and other social events.

    Get yourself to London for PoVcon2 then Sam, would love to share a beer 
or two with you. :)


>  Don't forget that I can also be your fall guy or scapegoat! Look good in 
> any situation, hire a whipping boy!

   Now you've done it... Heh... ;)

      ~Steve~


>
> Sam

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Stephen wrote:

>> 2. I'd be far too shy to even attempt to do something like this. I'd be 
>> too afraid of making an idiot of myself in front of everybody else.
> 
> That is a problem but sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do.
> Anyway its fun after you get over the initial embarrassment. Well I thought so.

Same reason I haven't taken dance lessons either, even though I can't 
dance and it would be a useful skill to have.

>> (As one of my sister's many boyfriends once explained, his Jui Jitsu 
>> instructor once explained to the class "if a bunch of guys start picking 
>> on you in the street, *run away*! Don't try to do Jui Jitsu on them. It 
>> won't work.")
> 
> Sensible, lots of people believe the movies and that can be dangerous. If you
> know that you can then you don't need to prove anything.

Perhaps more worrying is the people who think you can drive a car 
through buildings, jump over broken bridges, roll it over 3 times, and 
then get out and run down the street chasing the Bad Guys. IRL, this 
does not happen. Ever.

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:29:52 -0700, stbenge
<THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:

>Stephen wrote:
>> On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:33:30 -0700, stbenge
>> <THI### [at] hotmailcom> wrote:
>>> Stephen wrote:
>>>> Ooo! deep! ;)
>>> Hey, makin' fun of me? ;)
>> 
>> Was that a request or a complaint? :-)
>
>A request, of course! I'm available for parties and other social events. 
>  Don't forget that I can also be your fall guy or scapegoat! Look good 
>in any situation, hire a whipping boy!
>

As a sadist, I'm obliged to say no :)
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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On Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:10:17 +0100, Orchid XP v8 <voi### [at] devnull> wrote:

>
>Same reason I haven't taken dance lessons either, even though I can't 
>dance and it would be a useful skill to have.
>

Fair enough.

>> Sensible, lots of people believe the movies and that can be dangerous. If you
>> know that you can then you don't need to prove anything.
>
>Perhaps more worrying is the people who think you can drive a car 
>through buildings, jump over broken bridges, roll it over 3 times, and 
>then get out and run down the street chasing the Bad Guys. IRL, this 
>does not happen. Ever.

Does anyone over the age of 10 really believe that? I think it is called the
"suspension of disbelief" 
-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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>> Perhaps more worrying is the people who think you can drive a car 
>> through buildings, jump over broken bridges, roll it over 3 times, and 
>> then get out and run down the street chasing the Bad Guys. IRL, this 
>> does not happen. Ever.
> 
> Does anyone over the age of 10 really believe that? I think it is called the
> "suspension of disbelief" 

*Most* people realise it's fiction, but evidently *some* people seem to 
think that you really can do this - or at least, something close to 
this. Few people seem to realise that if you crash your car at 40 MPH, 
you probably won't walk away without fairly significant injury.

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a6a2dd$1@news.povray.org...

> Few people seem to realise that if you crash your car at 40 MPH,
> you probably won't walk away without fairly significant injury.
>

Depends on what you're driving. Older cars, yes. The modern cars with
airbags, crumple zones, etc, not so much.
Also, of course, how you crash the car.

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On Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:11:56 +0200, "Gail Shaw" <initialsurname@sentech sa dot
com> wrote:

>
>"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
>news:48a6a2dd$1@news.povray.org...
>
>> Few people seem to realise that if you crash your car at 40 MPH,
>> you probably won't walk away without fairly significant injury.
>>
>
>Depends on what you're driving. Older cars, yes. The modern cars with
>airbags, crumple zones, etc, not so much.
>Also, of course, how you crash the car.
>
True, I was watching a Top Gear programme where the idiots deliberately crashed
their cars into a earth bank at 30 mph. Clarkson's car (an old Volvo) did not
have a working speedo and he crashed it at about 40 mph. Not only did he walk
away the car was drivable afterwards. It is pedestrians that have problems in
30+ mph crashes.

-- 

Regards
     Stephen

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>> Few people seem to realise that if you crash your car at 40 MPH,
>> you probably won't walk away without fairly significant injury.
> 
> Depends on what you're driving. Older cars, yes. The modern cars with
> airbags, crumple zones, etc, not so much.
> Also, of course, how you crash the car.

For the love of God, DON'T HIT A TREE!

Lamp mosts may shear off, brick walls can cave in, but a 200 year old 
old tree really isn't going anywhere. If it's branches extend 40 feet 
into the air, you can guarantee its roots go 40 feet into the ground. 
And oak is a hardwood. The entire tree probably weighs several tons too. 
Seriously, the tree isn't going anywhere.

At 40 MPH, yeah. If you have a new car, you'll probably survive OK. 
However, too many people seem to think that because they have ABS and 
airbags, they're invincible and nothing can hurt them. This is untrue.

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message 
news:48a53636$1@news.povray.org...
> Halbert wrote:
>> ...
>> You are still young enough to turn things all the way around.
>
> I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my 
> life is almost over now".

I really disagree with that.  What young people have is fit bodies, new 
strength, and hormones driving their urges, BUT they don't know what to do 
with their bodies and health because they haven't learned anything yet and 
their heads are empty.  Youth is crippled by inexperience in everything and 
self-consciousness about self-identity, status, sexual performance, and 
don't know how to be good partners, lovers, or operate successfully in 
society.  Believe me, all that is WAY better later on!

> What I *should* have done is sort all this out back when I was at Uni. But 
> it's kinda too late now. :-(

You have time.  See above.

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somebody wrote:
> "Sabrina Kilian" <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote in message
> news:48a5e1f5$1@news.povray.org...
  >> You would be surprised at how much they notice, whether they admit 
it or
>> not. Put a pebble in your shoe and walk with a limp, see how many people
>> notice.
> 
> Ah, but I was talking about "caring", not "noticing" <g>.
> 


How many people 'care' about things they don't think that they notice, 
how many people 'care' about the things they do notice, and how many 
admit to caring about something if they think it paints them badly?

I'm sure psychology has a word or phrase for the phenomenon, but people 
do tend to make decisions about other people over minor details and tend 
to carry those decisions in their mind. Whether they consciously do it 
or not.

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>> I don't consider 30 to be "young". I consider that to be "basically my 
>> life is almost over now".
> 
> I really disagree with that.  What young people have is fit bodies, new 
> strength, and hormones driving their urges, BUT they don't know what to 
> do with their bodies and health because they haven't learned anything 
> yet and their heads are empty.  Youth is crippled by inexperience in 
> everything and self-consciousness about self-identity, status, sexual 
> performance, and don't know how to be good partners, lovers, or operate 
> successfully in society.  Believe me, all that is WAY better later on!

Trouble is, when you get to being old, people *expect* you to know what 
you're doing. *I* haven't learned anything yet... :-(

>> What I *should* have done is sort all this out back when I was at Uni. 
>> But it's kinda too late now. :-(
> 
> You have time.  See above.

It certainly doesn't feel like it...

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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Invisible wrote:

> And oh my God - I almost can't believe that I have an actual friend who 
> is also a *girl*. ;-) Actually, I'm hoping to meet up with her this 
> weekend. I haven't seen her in ages, but I've phoned her quite a bit. 
> It'll be good to see her flesh - uh, I mean, "it'll be good to see her 
> in the flesh". o_O
> 
> Ah, who am I kidding? :-P

Seeing her yesterday *was* good. She's cuter than I remember her... ;-)

Special thank-you goes out to my friend who hired the last kyak in the 
place, forcing me to have to share a rowboat with the girl. (Subtle, 
much?) Idly rowing in the middle of a small lake with a girl reclining 
on the seat in front of me was... quite enjoyable. And I don't even 
*like* rowing!

Next weekend, she's coming to MK, and we're going skiing. >:-D

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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