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What is it with kids these days? You know all the times I've posted when I
had something thrown over my windows, and the time my front windows got
smashed? And the time that they spat and threw eggs at my daughter when she
was about 11, and the time when they shit the life out of my wife by
stamping hard on the ground and shouting loudly in her ear as they walked
by? (Well, I didn't post about all of those, but they did happen).
These were the guys that I tried to keep my son away from, and I was
successful until now.
He's now 18 and I guess he craved the fun and wild ways of our village's
'massive' gang. I've just looked at his bebo site and I feel so sad.
He's a sheep, and I feel like kicking his st00pid ass outta here. Just
like me, he's going to learn the hard way. That's for sure. :(
I feel I've lost him.
~Friggin'*really*pissedoffandsadSteve~
</rant over>
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St. wrote:
> He's now 18 and I guess he craved the fun and wild ways of our village's
> 'massive' gang. I've just looked at his bebo site and I feel so sad.
>
'bebo site' ?
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I still have so much to look forward to in life. :-/
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] dev null> wrote in message
news:48a147e9$1@news.povray.org...
>I still have so much to look forward to in life. :-/
Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you should
be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the chance
to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that just wants
to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half of your salary.
Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know it.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> I still have so much to look forward to in life. :-/
>
> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you should
> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the chance
> to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that just wants
> to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half of your salary.
> Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know it.
Would anybody actually be bothered about getting an extra £6k a year?
Mmm, I guess they might...
I was actually thinking more along the lines of "parenthood is an
utterly thankless task".
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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St. <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:
> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you should
> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the chance
> to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that just wants
> to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half of your salary.
> Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know it.
http://nomarriage.com/
--
- Warp
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a15fc1$1@news.povray.org...
>>> I still have so much to look forward to in life. :-/
>>
>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
>> should be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have
>> the chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo
>> that just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into
>> half of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know
>> it.
>
> Would anybody actually be bothered about getting an extra £6k a year? Mmm,
> I guess they might...
Yep, they're out there. Be warned.
>
> I was actually thinking more along the lines of "parenthood is an utterly
> thankless task".
It's not until they decide that they've grown up enough to handle
'life' and want to do their 'own thing'. Problem is, they soon come back
when in trouble, (and they will be), but then it's too late, the damage has
been done.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Would anybody actually be bothered about getting an extra £6k a year? Mmm,
>> I guess they might...
>
> Yep, they're out there. Be warned.
Heh. The last girl I ever went out with took me on a trip to Blackpool
even though we had "split up" at that point. I didn't really realise
until afterwards that actually she just wanted me to pay for everything.
At this point you'd *think* I'd be upset. (I spent over £1,000 in 7
days.) But actually, I had a really awesome time. And I've never slept
in the same bed as a girl. (Although sleeping is all that happened. And
yes, she snores. Loudly.) So I just kept smiling anyway...
In retrospect though... she really wasn't a very nice person. Kinda glad
it ended quickly. ;-)
>> I was actually thinking more along the lines of "parenthood is an utterly
>> thankless task".
>
> It's not until they decide that they've grown up enough to handle
> 'life' and want to do their 'own thing'. Problem is, they soon come back
> when in trouble, (and they will be), but then it's too late, the damage has
> been done.
If I ever had children, I would try to be the best possible parent. But
I would do it with the certainty that I'm doing it all completely wrong,
and I have ruined my child's life as a result. I'm not sure I could live
with that kind of guilt.
Being a parent just seems like an impossible task. If you're too strict,
they grow up with no self-confidence. If you're not strict enough, they
grow up as out-of-control runaways. If you restrict them too much, they
won't learn independence. If you don't restrict them enough, they'll be
spoilt brats. Every time anything bad happens to them, you have the
pleasure of knowing it's probably your fault. You get to waste endless
hours worrying about them.
And at the end of it all, you get your reward: We don't need you. You
were a rubbish dad anyway. Goodbye.
Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a16684$1@news.povray.org...
>>> Would anybody actually be bothered about getting an extra £6k a year?
>>> Mmm, I guess they might...
>>
>> Yep, they're out there. Be warned.
>
> Heh. The last girl I ever went out with took me on a trip to Blackpool
> even though we had "split up" at that point. I didn't really realise until
> afterwards that actually she just wanted me to pay for everything.
>
> At this point you'd *think* I'd be upset. (I spent over £1,000 in 7 days.)
> But actually, I had a really awesome time. And I've never slept in the
> same bed as a girl. (Although sleeping is all that happened. And yes, she
> snores. Loudly.) So I just kept smiling anyway...
>
> In retrospect though... she really wasn't a very nice person. Kinda glad
> it ended quickly. ;-)
The important thing is that you enjoyed yourself. You had a great
time, and you learnt a little more about 'life'.
>
>>> I was actually thinking more along the lines of "parenthood is an
>>> utterly thankless task".
It is, and I've always known that it would be. There are so many fine
lines that you have to consider.
>>
>> It's not until they decide that they've grown up enough to handle
>> 'life' and want to do their 'own thing'. Problem is, they soon come back
>> when in trouble, (and they will be), but then it's too late, the damage
>> has been done.
>
> If I ever had children, I would try to be the best possible parent. But I
> would do it with the certainty that I'm doing it all completely wrong, and
> I have ruined my child's life as a result. I'm not sure I could live with
> that kind of guilt.
>
> Being a parent just seems like an impossible task. If you're too strict,
> they grow up with no self-confidence. If you're not strict enough, they
> grow up as out-of-control runaways. If you restrict them too much, they
> won't learn independence. If you don't restrict them enough, they'll be
> spoilt brats. Every time anything bad happens to them, you have the
> pleasure of knowing it's probably your fault. You get to waste endless
> hours worrying about them.
>
> And at the end of it all, you get your reward: We don't need you. You were
> a rubbish dad anyway. Goodbye.
You've summed it up quite well there Andrew, that's exactly it. Take
my position now. My son is coming and going as he pleases, he pays no rent,
(and never did), I get no phone call or text to say whether he'll be back
home for his tea, (three times this week, I've eaten his meal that I cooked,
the next day). I know exactly where he's coming from and exactly what he
wants me to do. He wants me to take him to task about all of this, and you
know what happens next don't you? He then throws it back at me, and then
moves out probably claiming that I threw him out to his 'crew'. But, it
ain't gonna happen. I'm not saying anything. The path he takes now is his
choice. And I know he will get in trouble of some kind, whether that's
money, or some drugs hassle, (yes, I've smelt it in his room before now), or
some police trouble, or some hospital trouble when he finally meets the 'big
boys' in a club somewhere. He's too immature to be out there, and believe
me, he thinks he's invincible. He's been pumping weights for the last four
years pretty much constantly, (I've even found steroids in his room), but
when he crosses the wrong person, he'll know about it.
>
> Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
Yep. :o(
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Heh. The last girl I ever went out with took me on a trip to Blackpool
>> even though we had "split up" at that point. I didn't really realise until
>> afterwards that actually she just wanted me to pay for everything.
>>
>> At this point you'd *think* I'd be upset. (I spent over £1,000 in 7 days.)
>> But actually, I had a really awesome time. And I've never slept in the
>> same bed as a girl. (Although sleeping is all that happened. And yes, she
>> snores. Loudly.) So I just kept smiling anyway...
>>
>> In retrospect though... she really wasn't a very nice person. Kinda glad
>> it ended quickly. ;-)
>
> The important thing is that you enjoyed yourself. You had a great
> time, and you learnt a little more about 'life'.
Yeah, I learned about sea life. ;-) If you ever get the chance to go to
the Blackpool sealife center, give it a whirl. It's fairly good.
Blackpool zoo isn't bad either. (I didn't know they had one.) It
features a maze made of maise. (Get it?)
As for life... well, a couple of street traders conned us out of about
£60 with their impossible skittles game. It looks easy, but it's
actually impossible. But they keep ranking up the prizes (and costs). We
quit that one fairly fast though, so only £60 lost between us.
>>>> I was actually thinking more along the lines of "parenthood is an
>>>> utterly thankless task".
>
> It is, and I've always known that it would be. There are so many fine
> lines that you have to consider.
>
> You've summed it up quite well there Andrew, that's exactly it.
Like I said, I have so much to look forward to. :-S
> Take
> my position now. My son is coming and going as he pleases, he pays no rent,
> (and never did), I get no phone call or text to say whether he'll be back
> home for his tea, (three times this week, I've eaten his meal that I cooked,
> the next day). I know exactly where he's coming from and exactly what he
> wants me to do. He wants me to take him to task about all of this, and you
> know what happens next don't you? He then throws it back at me, and then
> moves out probably claiming that I threw him out to his 'crew'. But, it
> ain't gonna happen. I'm not saying anything. The path he takes now is his
> choice. And I know he will get in trouble of some kind, whether that's
> money, or some drugs hassle, (yes, I've smelt it in his room before now), or
> some police trouble, or some hospital trouble when he finally meets the 'big
> boys' in a club somewhere. He's too immature to be out there, and believe
> me, he thinks he's invincible. He's been pumping weights for the last four
> years pretty much constantly, (I've even found steroids in his room), but
> when he crosses the wrong person, he'll know about it.
Hmm. No offence, but... There are many, many things wrong in my life.
However, at least I can say I'm not heading for nearly as much trouble
as this individual seems to be heading for.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a17395$1@news.povray.org...
> Hmm. No offence, but... There are many, many things wrong in my life.
> However, at least I can say I'm not heading for nearly as much trouble as
> this individual seems to be heading for.
None taken. I don't think you're heading for any trouble, you're a
well-adjusted guy, and you're old enough to know what you want out of life.
I think the only thing that you lack in is self confidence, which will
come when you're ready.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Hmm. No offence, but... There are many, many things wrong in my life.
>> However, at least I can say I'm not heading for nearly as much trouble as
>> this individual seems to be heading for.
>
> None taken.
Well, I think you realise I wasn't trying to say "man, your kid sux!"
> I don't think you're heading for any trouble, you're a
> well-adjusted guy, and you're old enough to know what you want out of life.
>
> I think the only thing that you lack in is self confidence, which will
> come when you're ready.
If I was well-adjusted I wouldn't fear walking down the street in broad
daylight because I don't want people to beat me up...
I think I'd be far more well-adjusted if I had friends. As in, people,
in the real world, that I can hang out with all the time. I "know of"
all these people across the face of the Internet that I sometimes talk
to, and even a few people that I occasionally visit, but 98% of my life
still involves being sat all alone, by myself. I have yet to find anyone
who I can actually visit with any great frequency. :-(
As for self-confidence... yeah, imagine what would be possible if I were
ever to possess such a quality. ;-)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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St. wrote:
> "Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
> news:48a147e9$1@news.povray.org...
>> I still have so much to look forward to in life. :-/
>
> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you should
> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the chance
> to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that just wants
> to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half of your salary.
> Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know it.
>
> ~Steve~
Reading what you wrote I was at a loss for words. I suppose you could
execute the "My house, My rules" clause, seeing as he is a legal adult.
If he doesn't like your rules, then he's free to do as he pleases, just
not under your roof.
What you wrote did send a shiver of terror down my spine though, that my
son, for all the potential he has could eventually wind up doing the
same. I'll be sure to cherish every moment while he's still young enough
to think the world of his mom and dad. :)
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St. wrote:
> me, he thinks he's invincible. He's been pumping weights for the last four
> years pretty much constantly,
Takes focus.
(I've even found steroids in his room), but
Did you talk to him about that?
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"Mike Raiford" <mra### [at] hotmailcom> wrote in message
news:48a198f5@news.povray.org...
> Reading what you wrote I was at a loss for words. I suppose you could
> execute the "My house, My rules" clause, seeing as he is a legal adult. If
> he doesn't like your rules, then he's free to do as he pleases, just not
> under your roof.
the "My House" clause does work if you execute it with a velvet hammer. My
son had pissed away his last two years of high school and landed in the
"last chance" school out in California. Whooping it up with his buddies ....
pretty typical time wasting teenage activities (hey I was pretty wild
myself). His mom and I had been divorced for over 10 years when he got a new
step dad that couldn't be bothered. I moved to Canada and soon with my
influence a continent away the troubles started. It got to a point that he
went missing for almost a week, and I stepped in a worked a plan with his
mom to get him away from there. It took tricking him to get him here (that's
a whole other story with a cool "ha-ha" ending) .... boy was he an unhappy
camper. I home schooled him through two years of math (11 & 12) and 12th
grade physics. Got him into a jet engine mechanic program and now he's
working this tail off, and getting a taste of what it's like to keep a
household (pay bills, laundry, what he can and can't afford). I guess what
I'm trying to say is that kids headed for trouble don't always end up there
.... take heart Steve if you thought you did a good job you probably did.
Raising my son was the hardest thing I ever did .... and hey there's no
users manual.
Jim
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Jim Holsenback wrote:
> .... take heart Steve if you thought you did a good job you probably did.
> Raising my son was the hardest thing I ever did .... and hey there's no
> users manual.
User's manual? Hell, there isn't even a manpage entry!! o_O
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Invisible wrote:
> User's manual? Hell, there isn't even a manpage entry!! o_O
...I just realised exactly how geeky that sounded.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 11:31:25 +0100, Invisible wrote:
>> It's not until they decide that they've grown up enough to handle
>> 'life' and want to do their 'own thing'. Problem is, they soon come
>> back when in trouble, (and they will be), but then it's too late, the
>> damage has been done.
>
> If I ever had children, I would try to be the best possible parent. But
> I would do it with the certainty that I'm doing it all completely wrong,
> and I have ruined my child's life as a result. I'm not sure I could live
> with that kind of guilt.
None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent. All kids
are different, so there isn't a "this way works best for everyone". If
you do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask (about anything, not
just parenting) - those that do, well, they can go f--- themselves.
> Being a parent just seems like an impossible task. If you're too strict,
> they grow up with no self-confidence. If you're not strict enough, they
> grow up as out-of-control runaways. If you restrict them too much, they
> won't learn independence. If you don't restrict them enough, they'll be
> spoilt brats. Every time anything bad happens to them, you have the
> pleasure of knowing it's probably your fault. You get to waste endless
> hours worrying about them.
I started parenting with my stepson when he was 9. I missed all the
diapers and sleepless nights with an infant, but I think that makes it
harder rather than easier. I still don't feel I did a good job, even
though Ken identifies me as his "assistant dad" (though his biological
father was largely out of the picture until he turned 18).
The thing about the choices you list above (being too strict/not strict
enough) is that it varies depending on situation and the kid's age.
Telling Ken he couldn't have some ice cream until after he finished his
dinner was fine when he was 11. When he was 17, not so much so, because
he'd grown in his independence and his ability to make sound decisions.
He recently had a problem at work (he works at a hostel doing scheduling
stuff) and is afraid that job is now over after only a week because he
made a mistake. Does this reflect on me? Not really. Does it reflect
on an employer having unrealistic expectations of someone who's been on
the job a week? You're damned right it does.
Does that mean I don't worry about him? No. That's part of the job of
being a parent: being concerned for your child's well-being. Being
there for them to support them when things aren't going so well.
> And at the end of it all, you get your reward: We don't need you. You
> were a rubbish dad anyway. Goodbye.
>
> Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
Not at all. Ken turns 21 in a few weeks; he still lives at home (he's at
the local university when school's in session), and when I'm working from
home, he frequently comes by and gives me a hug for no reason; he still
comes in and kisses us goodnight before going to bed.
Jim
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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:27:17 +0100, Invisible wrote:
> As for life... well, a couple of street traders conned us out of about
> £60 with their impossible skittles game. It looks easy, but it's
> actually impossible. But they keep ranking up the prizes (and costs). We
> quit that one fairly fast though, so only £60 lost between us.
You do realise that in games of chance - gambling of pretty much any kind
- the odds are rigged so that the house isn't going to lose?
It's *always* supposed to look easy to win, that's how you sucker people
into playing.
Jim
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>> As for life... well, a couple of street traders conned us out of about
>> £60 with their impossible skittles game. It looks easy, but it's
>> actually impossible. But they keep ranking up the prizes (and costs). We
>> quit that one fairly fast though, so only £60 lost between us.
>
> You do realise that in games of chance - gambling of pretty much any kind
> - the odds are rigged so that the house isn't going to lose?
>
> It's *always* supposed to look easy to win, that's how you sucker people
> into playing.
Yeah, well, when you see two random guys in jeans standing on the curb
wanting you to play a little game for a few quid, you don't think too
much of it.
Clearly these guys are good. ;-)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Jim Henderson wrote:
> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent. All kids
> are different, so there isn't a "this way works best for everyone". If
> you do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask (about anything, not
> just parenting) - those that do, well, they can go f--- themselves.
Yeah, but surely you end up playing that old game of "well if I'd done X
instead of Y then Z wouldn't have happened and then..."
> Does that mean I don't worry about him? No. That's part of the job of
> being a parent: being concerned for your child's well-being. Being
> there for them to support them when things aren't going so well.
How about this: When I was about 3 years old, I walked to the local
nursry by myself one day. Just found a chair, opened the front door and
toddled over there. It's about 1 mile and involves crossing a small road.
When I got home, my mother was hyperventilating. My mumbled responce of
"I walked to nursry but it was shut but then a nice man gave me a
sweety" didn't seem to calm her down.
>> Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
>
> Not at all. Ken turns 21 in a few weeks; he still lives at home (he's at
> the local university when school's in session), and when I'm working from
> home, he frequently comes by and gives me a hug for no reason; he still
> comes in and kisses us goodnight before going to bed.
Heh. I guess because *my* parents were always quite distant I forget
what it's like to be a normal family...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:01:14 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>
>> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent. All kids
>> are different, so there isn't a "this way works best for everyone". If
>> you do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask (about anything, not
>> just parenting) - those that do, well, they can go f--- themselves.
>
> Yeah, but surely you end up playing that old game of "well if I'd done X
> instead of Y then Z wouldn't have happened and then..."
I've found that "woulda/coulda/shoulda" games are useful only to a
certain extent. That extent is passed when raising kids when a thing has
been done and you've seen the results.
Yeah, we *coulda* previewed the South Park movie before taking him to see
it when he was 10. <shrug> We didn't know much about it then. Turned
out to be one of life's little lessons, but it also didn't permanently
damage him, so no real harm done.
>> Does that mean I don't worry about him? No. That's part of the job of
>> being a parent: being concerned for your child's well-being. Being
>> there for them to support them when things aren't going so well.
>
> How about this: When I was about 3 years old, I walked to the local
> nursry by myself one day. Just found a chair, opened the front door and
> toddled over there. It's about 1 mile and involves crossing a small
> road.
>
> When I got home, my mother was hyperventilating. My mumbled responce of
> "I walked to nursry but it was shut but then a nice man gave me a
> sweety" didn't seem to calm her down.
Well, like I said, good parents are always concerned for their child's
well-being. If your mother was a good parent (and I've no reason to
believe she wasn't), she learned from that experience and did a better
job keeping an eye on you. You seem perhaps a bit overshy and a bit
unsure of yourself, but other than that, you seem to me to be pretty well-
adjusted.
>>> Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
>>
>> Not at all. Ken turns 21 in a few weeks; he still lives at home (he's
>> at the local university when school's in session), and when I'm working
>> from home, he frequently comes by and gives me a hug for no reason; he
>> still comes in and kisses us goodnight before going to bed.
>
> Heh. I guess because *my* parents were always quite distant I forget
> what it's like to be a normal family...
There is no such thing as a "normal" family. Especially these days. If
you think *my* family is normal, well, you're pretty far off base
there....
Jim
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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:56:12 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> As for life... well, a couple of street traders conned us out of about
>>> £60 with their impossible skittles game. It looks easy, but it's
>>> actually impossible. But they keep ranking up the prizes (and costs).
>>> We quit that one fairly fast though, so only £60 lost between us.
>>
>> You do realise that in games of chance - gambling of pretty much any
>> kind - the odds are rigged so that the house isn't going to lose?
>>
>> It's *always* supposed to look easy to win, that's how you sucker
>> people into playing.
>
> Yeah, well, when you see two random guys in jeans standing on the curb
> wanting you to play a little game for a few quid, you don't think too
> much of it.
>
> Clearly these guys are good. ;-)
Exactly my point. :-) Their entire purpose is to make it look like you
have a good chance of winning - keeping you off guard is one of the
necessary components of that.
On the flip side, you did interact with total strangers, and while you
lost some money, the world didn't end. :-)
Jim
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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:14:37 -0400, Warp wrote:
> St. <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:
>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
>> should
>> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the
>> chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that
>> just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half
>> of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know it.
>
> http://nomarriage.com/
Holy cow, what a misogynistic site....
Jim
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Jim Henderson wrote:
> On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:14:37 -0400, Warp wrote:
>
>> St. <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:
>>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
>>> should
>>> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the
>>> chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that
>>> just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half
>>> of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know it.
>> http://nomarriage.com/
>
> Holy cow, what a misogynistic site....
>
> Jim
I think I spot a trend in this sites complaints, and it ain't pretty.
'Sex stops after marriage' and 'American women talk about how they cheat'
Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the logic
there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument. The rest
of the site continues the same way, contradicting each argument it
makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 22:30:05 -0400, Sabrina Kilian wrote:
> I think I spot a trend in this sites complaints, and it ain't pretty.
>
> 'Sex stops after marriage' and 'American women talk about how they
> cheat'
>
> Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
> are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the logic
> there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument. The rest
> of the site continues the same way, contradicting each argument it
> makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
Oh, good, it wasn't just me who saw that pattern.
In some ways, that site is one of the most revolting things I've ever
seen on the 'net. And I read Slashdot. ;-)
Jim
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Jim Henderson wrote:
> Oh, good, it wasn't just me who saw that pattern.
>
> In some ways, that site is one of the most revolting things I've ever
> seen on the 'net. And I read Slashdot. ;-)
>
> Jim
Slashdot? Sure, there are trolls there. But Fark, the chans, any MMOs
'uber raiding guild' forums all take the cake. At least on Fark, the
trolls try really hard to make you think they are holding their end of
an intelligent discussion, when they lead you on.
I'm wondering how this site would feel to be quoted as 'reasons not to
marry an american man' but I'm not sure if they would get the irony. I'm
afraid it would go right by them, but I'm not sure if that would make it
even funnier.
Oops, now you've got me thinking of ways to troll them.
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And lo on Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:01:14 +0100, Orchid XP v8 <voi### [at] devnull>
did spake, saying:
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>
>> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent.
Though that's only a matter of time, with fines if you don't do things
correctly.
> How about this: When I was about 3 years old, I walked to the local
> nursry by myself one day. Just found a chair, opened the front door and
> toddled over there. It's about 1 mile and involves crossing a small road.
>
> When I got home, my mother was hyperventilating. My mumbled responce of
> "I walked to nursry but it was shut but then a nice man gave me a
> sweety" didn't seem to calm her down.
When I was younger (so much younger than today) I took our neighbour's
kid, his younger sister and her pushchair up to the local store; like you
about a mile away, but crossing about four minor roads. We were discovered
loading up the chair with items by the shop assistants who contacted our
parents, an advantage of doing things locally, heh see I've always liked
shopping :-)
>>> Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
>> Not at all. Ken turns 21 in a few weeks; he still lives at home (he's
>> at the local university when school's in session), and when I'm working
>> from home, he frequently comes by and gives me a hug for no reason; he
>> still comes in and kisses us goodnight before going to bed.
>
> Heh. I guess because *my* parents were always quite distant I forget
> what it's like to be a normal family...
I gotta say what with you having a sister I'm surprised how you present
yourself; I'm an only child but I was lucky in that a) I had a cousin of
the same age I saw frequently, and b) I was raised in a cul-de-sac next to
a vast expanse of wilderness that attracted a large age-range of kids from
the entire locality.
--
Phil Cook
--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com
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>>> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent.
>
> Though that's only a matter of time, with fines if you don't do things
> correctly.
That would by funny - if it wasn't true...
> When I was younger (so much younger than today)
You never needed anybody's help in any way?
>> Heh. I guess because *my* parents were always quite distant I forget
>> what it's like to be a normal family...
>
> I gotta say what with you having a sister I'm surprised how you present
> yourself;
How do you mean?
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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And lo on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:30:05 +0100, Sabrina Kilian <"ykgp at
vtSPAM.edu"> did spake, saying:
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>> On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:14:37 -0400, Warp wrote:
>>
>>> St. <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:
>>>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
>>>> should
>>>> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the
>>>> chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that
>>>> just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half
>>>> of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know
>>>> it.
>>> http://nomarriage.com/
>> Holy cow, what a misogynistic site....
>
> I think I spot a trend in this sites complaints, and it ain't pretty.
>
> 'Sex stops after marriage' and 'American women talk about how they cheat'
>
> Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
> are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the logic
> there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument. The rest
> of the site continues the same way, contradicting each argument it
> makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
Ah come on everyone knows that a women only marries a man in order to
change him into someone they wouldn't marry and don't want to have sex
with... please don't kill me :-)
--
Phil Cook
--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com
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Phil Cook wrote:
> Ah come on everyone knows that a women only marries a man in order to
> change him into someone they wouldn't marry and don't want to have sex
> with... please don't kill me :-)
"Feelings? You know who 'as feelings? Blokes wot bludgon their wives to
death with a goft trophie. Professionals have *standards*."
Uh... you should probably just ignore that...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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And lo on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:14:36 +0100, Invisible <voi### [at] devnull> did
spake, saying:
>>>> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent.
>> Though that's only a matter of time, with fines if you don't do things
>> correctly.
>
> That would by funny - if it wasn't true...
Scary huh?
>> When I was younger (so much younger than today)
>
> You never needed anybody's help in any way?
Indeed, though these days are gone.
>>> Heh. I guess because *my* parents were always quite distant I forget
>>> what it's like to be a normal family...
>> I gotta say what with you having a sister I'm surprised how you
>> present yourself;
>
> How do you mean?
I just see those with one sibling as being more outspoken etc. with more
than one you can either get swamped or shout louder, but with just one...
meh just my mental hangup.
--
Phil Cook
--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com
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>>> I gotta say what with you having a sister I'm surprised how you
>>> present yourself;
>>
>> How do you mean?
>
> I just see those with one sibling as being more outspoken etc. with more
> than one you can either get swamped or shout louder, but with just
> one... meh just my mental hangup.
Nope. My little sister is the strong-willed, outspoken one. When my mum
makes some ridiculous demand, I grudingly get on with it. My sister just
tells her where to stick it. (This probably works significantly better
because my sister doesn't actually *live* there any more...)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Sabrina Kilian <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote:
> I think I spot a trend in this sites complaints, and it ain't pretty.
> 'Sex stops after marriage' and 'American women talk about how they cheat'
> Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
> are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the logic
> there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument. The rest
> of the site continues the same way, contradicting each argument it
> makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
You got it wrongly.
Women do not cheat because they want sex. They cheat because they want
romantic relationships. The sex is just part of the relationship, but not
the ultimate reason for the cheating. Sex is just a mean to an end, not
the end itself.
That's the reason why women do not want sex with their husbands *and*
they cheat: The sex itself is irrelevant, what matters is the relationship.
They have got tired and sick of their husband who is not, after all, the
wonderful person they thought he was. Their husband cannot fulfill their
need for a romantic relationship. They only see their husband was wanting
sex, sex and nothing but sex, with the least amount of exotic romanticism.
Thus they seek it elsewhere.
So yes, it is possible for a person to not want sex with their spouse
and, at the same time, succumb for cheating them, and it can make a lot
of sense.
--
- Warp
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"Jim Charter" <jrc### [at] msncom> wrote in message
news:48a1ad3c$1@news.povray.org...
> St. wrote:
>
>> me, he thinks he's invincible. He's been pumping weights for the last
>> four years pretty much constantly,
>
> Takes focus.
Yes, and I'm proud of him for that at least, but just a little worried
about the 'invincible' thing.
>
>
>
> (I've even found steroids in his room), but
>
> Did you talk to him about that?
Yes, I did in a 'big' way. I'm not even sure if they were actual steroids
if you like, but the bottle had something like "100 Muscle Enhancing
Capsules" on the side. I guess they could have been some kind of derivative
of steroids if there is such a thing. That was about 18 months ago, and
thankfully, I haven't seen them since. 'Seen' being the operative word
there.
~Steve~
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"Mike Raiford" <mra### [at] hotmailcom> wrote in message
news:48a198f5@news.povray.org...
> St. wrote:
>> "Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
>> news:48a147e9$1@news.povray.org...
>>> I still have so much to look forward to in life. :-/
>>
>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
>> should be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have
>> the chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo
>> that just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into
>> half of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know
>> it.
>>
>> ~Steve~
>
> Reading what you wrote I was at a loss for words. I suppose you could
> execute the "My house, My rules" clause, seeing as he is a legal adult. If
> he doesn't like your rules, then he's free to do as he pleases, just not
> under your roof.
Thanks Mike, I do know that I could do the "My house, my rules" thing,
but seriously, this guy gets a strop on for the smallest of things, and
well, he knows 'me', and he already knows what I want, and what I wanted of
him. The signs of the rebellion in him were showing when he was at school at
about the age of about 9. I think I did the 'porn on the school computers'
thing here before, so I won't go into that, but, then there was the big
'blade from the pencil sharpener and getting other kids to cut themselves'
thing too. And then, when he was about 14, and in his most *favourite*
lesson, Art, he did the "it would be fun to throw a few water bombs around
the class to ruin other's work" thing. Headmaster did a ninja kick on me,
and since that last episode, I've kept my eye on him constantly and tried to
get him to see the errors of his ways. Hmm, and now this...
>
> What you wrote did send a shiver of terror down my spine though, that my
> son, for all the potential he has could eventually wind up doing the same.
> I'll be sure to cherish every moment while he's still young enough to
> think the world of his mom and dad. :)
The potential to do the same will always be there, as I said before,
sheep. I don't know if that's a worldly term or not, but here it means "to
follow like a sheep" - and that's exactly what he's done with this gang. I
know, I know, he wants to be accepted with the most popular guys around him.
I mean, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em right? It's safer that way yes?
Problem is, I know these guys, and I know what they're capable of, and when
they want to have a 'laugh' at his expense, well, who knows what will
happen.
Mike, from what you've written, I'm kinda glad that I wrote what I'd
written. I'm sure you'll be a great dad. You can only do your best mate.
~Steve~
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48a183e0$1@news.povray.org...
>>> Hmm. No offence, but... There are many, many things wrong in my life.
>>> However, at least I can say I'm not heading for nearly as much trouble
>>> as this individual seems to be heading for.
>>
>> None taken.
>
> Well, I think you realise I wasn't trying to say "man, your kid sux!"
Yeah, sure. :)
>
>> I don't think you're heading for any trouble, you're a well-adjusted guy,
>> and you're old enough to know what you want out of life.
>>
>> I think the only thing that you lack in is self confidence, which
>> will come when you're ready.
>
> If I was well-adjusted I wouldn't fear walking down the street in broad
> daylight because I don't want people to beat me up...
Mate, I *fear* walking the streets in broad daylight! You do know that
in this country we have the peculiar habit of saying 'sorry mate' when we
bump into someone else in a crowded street? I do it all the time, seriously.
Apparently, we here are quite unique for doing this. I know why, it's to
take conflict out of the situation before it even arises - if you're lucky
that is. I bet you anything, that you avoid looking a guy in the eye as much
as possible, right? I'm the same! I've been there and done that, it's not
nice if they take offence.
You know Andrew, and this is what I *seriously* think you should do; start
taking karate lessons or judo, or any one of the other many self defense
classes near to you. Let's say it's two hours a week. First off, I think
you'll love it. You certainly have the body for it, you're quite a big guy.
You'll meet new people, both sexes, young and old. You'll gain confidence
like you've never had before, and... if you follow it through, you will walk
through the street and hold your head up high. It will take time, and you
will have to work at it, and you HAVE to 'want' to do it, but the end result
would be SO worth it. Seriously Andrew, consider it.
And always remember, bigger guys than you can fall hard... They're not
invincible:
http://www.psfights.com/fight-video-1406.htm
> As for self-confidence... yeah, imagine what would be possible if I were
> ever to possess such a quality. ;-)
See above.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Phil Cook wrote:
> And lo on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:30:05 +0100, Sabrina Kilian <"ykgp at
> vtSPAM.edu"> did spake, saying:
>
>> Jim Henderson wrote:
>>> On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:14:37 -0400, Warp wrote:
>>>
>>>> St. <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:
>>>>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
>>>>> should
>>>>> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the
>>>>> chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that
>>>>> just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half
>>>>> of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know
>>>>> it.
>>>> http://nomarriage.com/
>>> Holy cow, what a misogynistic site....
>>
>> I think I spot a trend in this sites complaints, and it ain't pretty.
>>
>> 'Sex stops after marriage' and 'American women talk about how they cheat'
>>
>> Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
>> are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the
>> logic there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument.
>> The rest of the site continues the same way, contradicting each
>> argument it makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
>
> Ah come on everyone knows that a women only marries a man in order to
> change him into someone they wouldn't marry and don't want to have sex
> with... please don't kill me :-)
>
Why would I kill you, that wouldn't change your opinion?
But I should ask, are you married yet? *evil grin*
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"Sabrina Kilian" <"ykgp at vtSPAM.edu"> wrote in message
news:48a2472c$1@news.povray.org...
> Jim Henderson wrote:
> > On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 06:14:37 -0400, Warp wrote:
> >
> >> St. <dot### [at] dotcom> wrote:
> >>> Mate, you don't know the half of it. To me, you are so lucky, you
> >>> should
> >>> be smiling all day long. When I say lucky, I mean that you have the
> >>> chance to meet a nice, sensible lady, and not some immature bimbo that
> >>> just wants to notch up another score on her bed post or get into half
> >>> of your salary. Trust me, when you meet that nice lady, you'll know
it.
> >> http://nomarriage.com/
> >
> > Holy cow, what a misogynistic site....
> >
> > Jim
> I think I spot a trend in this sites complaints, and it ain't pretty.
>
> 'Sex stops after marriage' and 'American women talk about how they cheat'
> Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
> are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the logic
> there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument. The rest
> of the site continues the same way, contradicting each argument it
> makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
Humans are contradictory in nature, so their actions end up that way too.
But there's little contradiction here. Women (and men) don't cheat because
they are sex-starved. Cheating is more about the power and the exhiliration
than physical need. Women enjoy another adding notch to their scorecards
just as much as men, and maybe even more so in modern society, as the
feminine empowerment culture spills over into the cheating arena. Cheating
is just another kind of empowerment, it's about asserting dominance, peer
pressure. Societal bias used to allow or even encourage only men to cheat
(and even brag about it), now the tables are turned. As to whose fault it
is... Maybe it's just that marriage is a concept getting antiquated. The
divorce rates may be an indication that the society is caught between
conflicting demands, that we cannot have our cakes and eat it too.
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And lo on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:03:42 +0100, Sabrina Kilian <"ykgp at
vtSPAM.edu"> did spake, saying:
> Phil Cook wrote:
>> And lo on Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:30:05 +0100, Sabrina Kilian <"ykgp at
>> vtSPAM.edu"> did spake, saying:
>>> Yup, obviously it's the woman's fault that the sex stops, because they
>>> are so done with sex that they just want more of it. I can see the
>>> logic there; there it goes, dancing it's way away from that argument.
>>> The rest of the site continues the same way, contradicting each
>>> argument it makes. It's like Time Cube for misogynists.
>> Ah come on everyone knows that a women only marries a man in order to
>> change him into someone they wouldn't marry and don't want to have sex
>> with... please don't kill me :-)
>
> Why would I kill you, that wouldn't change your opinion?
It would certainly stop me having an option ;-)
> But I should ask, are you married yet? *evil grin*
Heh no.
--
Phil Cook
--
I once tried to be apathetic, but I just couldn't be bothered
http://flipc.blogspot.com
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On Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:46:30 -0400, Sabrina Kilian wrote:
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>> Oh, good, it wasn't just me who saw that pattern.
>>
>> In some ways, that site is one of the most revolting things I've ever
>> seen on the 'net. And I read Slashdot. ;-)
>>
>> Jim
>
> Slashdot? Sure, there are trolls there. But Fark, the chans, any MMOs
> 'uber raiding guild' forums all take the cake. At least on Fark, the
> trolls try really hard to make you think they are holding their end of
> an intelligent discussion, when they lead you on.
Oh, sure. Just /. was the first that came to mind. Goatse posts, crap
like that....reading at -1 there is truly a great way to waste time and
see the dregs of the 'net.
> I'm wondering how this site would feel to be quoted as 'reasons not to
> marry an american man' but I'm not sure if they would get the irony. I'm
> afraid it would go right by them, but I'm not sure if that would make it
> even funnier.
They probably wouldn't get the irony. The sad thing, though, is it's
probably a site run by someone who had a bad experience, so they think
*everyone* does. They reinforce that opinion by talking to others who
had a similar experience, and call it a "survey".
> Oops, now you've got me thinking of ways to troll them.
LOL
Jim
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On Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:10:19 +0100, Phil Cook wrote:
> And lo on Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:01:14 +0100, Orchid XP v8 <voi### [at] devnull>
> did spake, saying:
>
>> Jim Henderson wrote:
>>
>>> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent.
>
> Though that's only a matter of time, with fines if you don't do things
> correctly.
That's true, and some are steeper than others. But the "manual" comes in
the form of experience, guess that was my point all along. :-)
Jim
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Jim Henderson wrote:
> They probably wouldn't get the irony. The sad thing, though, is it's
> probably a site run by someone who had a bad experience,
http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/8456/yeeaaahmv8.jpg
Funny what you happen to run across that's relevant.
--
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)
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On Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:41:44 +0100, St. wrote:
> You can only do your best mate.
And hey, that applies to you as well - sometimes we just get tough ones
to deal with. I know I was lucky in many respects.
Jim
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Jim Charter wrote:
> St. wrote:
>
>> He's now 18 and I guess he craved the fun and wild ways of our
>> village's
>> 'massive' gang. I've just looked at his bebo site and I feel so sad.
>>
> 'bebo site' ?
GYIF. http://www.bebo.com/
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Jim Henderson wrote:
> The sad thing, though, is it's
> probably a site run by someone who had a bad experience, so they think
> *everyone* does.
Yeah. I met a website *full* of these people a while back. All very nice
people, but most of them seem to go through serial breakups, and always
blame the other person (or the entire gender). Very sad, really.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:57:24 +0100, Invisible wrote:
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>
>> The sad thing, though, is it's
>> probably a site run by someone who had a bad experience, so they think
>> *everyone* does.
>
> Yeah. I met a website *full* of these people a while back. All very nice
> people, but most of them seem to go through serial breakups, and always
> blame the other person (or the entire gender). Very sad, really.
Yep.....A jaded view doesn't really help much...
Jim
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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:48a4b6f7@news.povray.org...
> On Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:41:44 +0100, St. wrote:
>
>> You can only do your best mate.
>
> And hey, that applies to you as well - sometimes we just get tough ones
> to deal with. I know I was lucky in many respects.
Yes, I know that Jim. Thanks for your thoughts, seriously. There has
been a bit of a development from last night. I did speak to him. He came
back home, and immediately ran the bath. No probs with that, but I asked him
nicely/please to clean the bath out after he'd finished, and he mumbled that
he would. This morning, after being woken up by very loud rap music, I lost
my rag a little and asked him to turn it down/off. I then went to the lav,
and checked the bath. Not only had he not cleaned the bath, there was a
single cigarette butt spreading its tar across the bath near to the
plug-hole.
I've noticed a pattern: he only comes home for a change of clothes, and
a bath. Every other day so far. This is good info, I'm narrowing it down
now. For instance, this tells me that his gf doesn't have a place of her
own, otherwise he'd have a bath or shower there, right? (And I wouldn't see
him at all). So, this means that he's staying at her parents place, but he
doesn't have a change of clothes, so he can't have a bath/shower there, so
comes home. He's not here tonight, no phone call, no nothing. But then
again, it IS Friday night, woohoo, and that means: seshin'.
Ya gotta luv da seshin wid ma m8s, innit mate?
wtf
~Steve~
>
> Jim
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On Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:05:45 +0100, St. wrote:
> [...]
> Ya gotta luv da seshin wid ma m8s, innit mate?
>
> wtf
Egads, I wish there was more I could say/do to help, but it sounds like
at least you're getting a view into what's going on, and that's gotta
help somewhat.
The smoking would be a deal-killer for me (but that's largely because I
react very badly to the smell); don't know if it is for you or not....
Jim
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