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On Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:35:21 -0400, Tom Austin wrote:
> so, fill some of her new 'free' time.
>
> hang out with her.
>
> forget the GF stuff for now - enjoy having a friend
Yes, seconded.
Jim
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"Gail Shaw" <initialsurname@sentech sa dot com> wrote:
> "Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] dev null> wrote in message
> news:487526ff$1@news.povray.org...
> > Weee... A cute girl just gave me her phone number! :-D
> >
> > She's 21, single, tall and skinny, with long blonde hair and beautiful
> > blue eyes. Seems kinda shy, but good fun to chat with.
> >
> > Oh, did I mention? She's recently split up with somebody and is still
> > not "over it" yet, so she's explicitly not looking for a boyfriend.
> >
>
> And that prevents her from been a friend how?
> Get to know her first. Leave the girlfriend thing for later.
Yeah, you've done without a girl for so long already what's the difference? Just
enjoy the conversation and get to know her. Maybe she'll turn out to be someone
that understands you and appreciates Haskell and can bring down your transmit
level under 1.0 (meaning you could possibly become translucent!)
Anyway, you should listen to Gail, she's an MVP now you know (grats Gail!) ;)
-Rob
"There is no spoon."
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>> Oh... of course... I *say* she just gave me her phone number... I guess
>> it might actually be the number for the local kebab shop... That'd be
>> really mean though! o_O
>
> Maybe she just really hates men because of her breakup and you seemed
> to be a good victim of her vindictive rage?
Why thank you Warp, that hadn't even occurred to me... x_x
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Tom Austin wrote:
> so, fill some of her new 'free' time.
>
> hang out with her.
>
> forget the GF stuff for now - enjoy having a friend
This is exactly my plan. ;-)
(However, this "plan" is not going so well... she's always so busy...)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Oh, did I mention? She's recently split up with somebody and is still
> not "over it" yet, so she's explicitly not looking for a boyfriend.
It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely transform
something...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Robert McGregor wrote:
> Anyway, you should listen to Gail, she's an MVP now you know.
Yeah, that's true...
I've always found Gail's voice to be one of the more sensible and
carefully-reasoned around here.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Oh... of course... I *say* she just gave me her phone number... I guess
> it might actually be the number for the local kebab shop... That'd be
> really mean though! o_O
It's not the kebab shop. ;-) So no need to worry about that any more.
Of course, thanks to Warp, I now have a whole *new* problem to worry
about... :-/
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:09:00 +0100, Invisible wrote:
> Tom Austin wrote:
>
>> so, fill some of her new 'free' time.
>>
>> hang out with her.
>>
>> forget the GF stuff for now - enjoy having a friend
>
> This is exactly my plan. ;-)
>
> (However, this "plan" is not going so well... she's always so busy...)
It happens. I wouldn't expect to spend more than an evening or two a
week hanging out....
Jim
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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:487640a3$1@news.povray.org...
> On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:09:00 +0100, Invisible wrote:
>
>> Tom Austin wrote:
>>
>>> so, fill some of her new 'free' time.
>>>
>>> hang out with her.
>>>
>>> forget the GF stuff for now - enjoy having a friend
>>
>> This is exactly my plan. ;-)
>>
>> (However, this "plan" is not going so well... she's always so busy...)
>
> It happens. I wouldn't expect to spend more than an evening or two a
> week hanging out....
Yeah, agreed. And then it builds up to 7 days, nights, per week. ;)
~Steve~
>
> Jim
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>> It happens. I wouldn't expect to spend more than an evening or two a
>> week hanging out....
>
> Yeah, agreed. And then it builds up to 7 days, nights, per week. ;)
Meh. I've been trying to hang out with her for, like, 4 *months* now...
Still haven't seen hide nor hair of her in all that time. :-S
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:4875c3c2@news.povray.org...
> Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>
> > Oh, did I mention? She's recently split up with somebody and is still
> > not "over it" yet, so she's explicitly not looking for a boyfriend.
>
> It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely transform
> something...
Only if you let it.
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>> It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely transform
>> something...
>
> Only if you let it.
Oh no, it *does* transform it. (It transforms it from "hey, I scored" to
"hey, I have a new person to talk to".) The QUESTION is how important
that transformation is. ;-)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48764df3$1@news.povray.org...
>>> It happens. I wouldn't expect to spend more than an evening or two a
>>> week hanging out....
>>
>> Yeah, agreed. And then it builds up to 7 days, nights, per week.
>> ;)
>
> Meh. I've been trying to hang out with her for, like, 4 *months* now...
> Still haven't seen hide nor hair of her in all that time. :-S
Lol! at that last sentence. Classic. :)
Just talk with her, and *arrange* things with her. Picnic, movies, meal
in, meal out, movies... etc.
Gofrit! Last chance saloon!!
~Steve~
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>> Meh. I've been trying to hang out with her for, like, 4 *months* now...
>> Still haven't seen hide nor hair of her in all that time. :-S
>
> Lol! at that last sentence. Classic. :)
:-P
> Just talk with her, and *arrange* things with her. Picnic, movies, meal
> in, meal out, movies... etc.
When I met her 4 months ago, I was really hoping that now at least I'd
have 2 possible people to hang out with instead of just 1.
Actually, I haven't seen her since that day, and I haven't seen the
other guy for abotu 3 months either. I really thought meeting back up
with him was going to allow me to develop a *real* social life at
last... but no, it's make no difference.
> Gofrit! Last chance saloon!!
Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great many
years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Robert McGregor" <rob### [at] mcgregorfineartcom> wrote in message
news:web.4875767cfb9f0876bd1b3ad10@news.povray.org...
>
> Anyway, you should listen to Gail, she's an MVP now you know
All that means is that I know a bit about SQL and talk too much. <g>
> (grats Gail!) ;)
Thanks
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:39:12 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> Meh. I've been trying to hang out with her for, like, 4 *months*
>>> now... Still haven't seen hide nor hair of her in all that time. :-S
>>
>> Lol! at that last sentence. Classic. :)
>
> :-P
>
>> Just talk with her, and *arrange* things with her. Picnic, movies,
>> meal
>> in, meal out, movies... etc.
>
> When I met her 4 months ago, I was really hoping that now at least I'd
> have 2 possible people to hang out with instead of just 1.
>
> Actually, I haven't seen her since that day, and I haven't seen the
> other guy for abotu 3 months either. I really thought meeting back up
> with him was going to allow me to develop a *real* social life at
> last... but no, it's make no difference.
When's the last time you phoned or e-mailed him? Don't expect other
people to do all the work.
>> Gofrit! Last chance saloon!!
>
> Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
>
> Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great many
> years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
Gads, we've been over this, Andy - you're what, in your *mid 20s*? You
haven't even HAD a "great many years".
Jim
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:4876574e$1@news.povray.org...
>>> Meh. I've been trying to hang out with her for, like, 4 *months* now...
>>> Still haven't seen hide nor hair of her in all that time. :-S
>>
>> Lol! at that last sentence. Classic. :)
>
> :-P
Heh... :)
>
>> Just talk with her, and *arrange* things with her. Picnic, movies,
>> meal in, meal out, movies... etc.
>
> When I met her 4 months ago, I was really hoping that now at least I'd
> have 2 possible people to hang out with instead of just 1.
>
> Actually, I haven't seen her since that day, and I haven't seen the other
> guy for abotu 3 months either. I really thought meeting back up with him
> was going to allow me to develop a *real* social life at last... but no,
> it's make no difference.
>
>> Gofrit! Last chance saloon!!
>
> Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
>
> Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great many
> years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
Heh - no hope? :) You haven't moved out yet.
Move out > party > ladies. LOTS of ladies. ;)
Seriously, you haven't partied yet, but you're not too old if that was
what you were thinking, trust me on that. Just mix in, it doesn't matter
what age you are.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> I really thought meeting back up
>> with him was going to allow me to develop a *real* social life at
>> last... but no, it's make no difference.
>
> When's the last time you phoned or e-mailed him? Don't expect other
> people to do all the work.
How about "once or twice per week"? Because that's roughly how often
I've contacted him to arrange to meet up. :-P
>> Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
>>
>> Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great many
>> years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
>
> Gads, we've been over this, Andy - you're what, in your *mid 20s*? You
> haven't even HAD a "great many years".
More like "nearly 30". It just seems the "best years" of my life are all
a long way behind me now - and they weren't even that great. Not a happy
thought...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
>>
>> Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great many
>> years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
>
> Heh - no hope? :) You haven't moved out yet.
>
> Move out > party > ladies. LOTS of ladies. ;)
Er, yeah, RIGHT. Because that last party I went to was LOADED with
ladies. If by "ladies" you in fact mean "schoolgirls". :-P
> Seriously, you haven't partied yet, but you're not too old if that was
> what you were thinking, trust me on that. Just mix in, it doesn't matter
> what age you are.
*thinks about my dad dancing at my cousin's wedding*
Um, yes. Yes it does...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48765d57$1@news.povray.org...
>> Gads, we've been over this, Andy - you're what, in your *mid 20s*? You
>> haven't even HAD a "great many years".
>
> More like "nearly 30". It just seems the "best years" of my life are all a
> long way behind me now - and they weren't even that great. Not a happy
> thought...
Oh mate, I'll swap with you any day of the week with my life as it is
now. Really Andrew, you should shut your whining and just get 'out there'
and then invite me to the wedding when you're done. I'll kiss the bride on
your behalf if you're too shy. ;)
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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St. wrote:
> Really Andrew, you should shut your whining and just get 'out there'
> and then invite me to the wedding when you're done. I'll kiss the bride on
> your behalf if you're too shy. ;)
Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest
to "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still
tell you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48766332$1@news.povray.org...
> St. wrote:
>
>> Really Andrew, you should shut your whining and just get 'out there' and
>> then invite me to the wedding when you're done. I'll kiss the bride on
>> your behalf if you're too shy. ;)
>
> Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest to
> "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still tell
> you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
Nope.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48765dcc$1@news.povray.org...
>>> Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
>>>
>>> Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great many
>>> years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
>>
>> Heh - no hope? :) You haven't moved out yet.
>>
>> Move out > party > ladies. LOTS of ladies. ;)
>
> Er, yeah, RIGHT. Because that last party I went to was LOADED with ladies.
> If by "ladies" you in fact mean "schoolgirls". :-P
:op Heh, you think of them as 'schoolgirls', but in fact, I bet some of
them are way ahead of you in the brain department Andrew. I don't mean
programming, I mean in life. You just don't know it yet, that's all.
>
>> Seriously, you haven't partied yet, but you're not too old if that
>> was what you were thinking, trust me on that. Just mix in, it doesn't
>> matter what age you are.
>
> *thinks about my dad dancing at my cousin's wedding*
And I bet some young ladies there admired your dad for dancing. Fair play
to him. I bet they thought he was fun.
>
> Um, yes. Yes it does...
What did they (the young ladies) think of you Andrew? Did you dance with
them too? I mean, you were obviously there at the party, so what did you do?
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>>> Move out > party > ladies. LOTS of ladies. ;)
>> Er, yeah, RIGHT. Because that last party I went to was LOADED with ladies.
>> If by "ladies" you in fact mean "schoolgirls". :-P
>
> :op Heh, you think of them as 'schoolgirls'
Is 13 not "schoolgirl" then?
> but in fact, I bet some of
> them are way ahead of you in the brain department Andrew.
Cool. I mean, it's not like I already have a massive inferiority complex
or anything like that...
> What did they (the young ladies) think of you Andrew? Did you dance with
> them too? I mean, you were obviously there at the party, so what did you do?
1. I can't dance.
2. At that particular party, there didn't seem to be much point anyway.
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:04:56 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> I really thought meeting back up
>>> with him was going to allow me to develop a *real* social life at
>>> last... but no, it's make no difference.
>>
>> When's the last time you phoned or e-mailed him? Don't expect other
>> people to do all the work.
>
> How about "once or twice per week"? Because that's roughly how often
> I've contacted him to arrange to meet up. :-P
Have you actually spoken to him? Do you know he's not out of town?
>>> Did you have to use the words "last chance"? :-/
>>>
>>> Seriously - it *already* feels like I had my "last chance" a great
>>> many years ago and that there is essentially no hope now. :'{
>>
>> Gads, we've been over this, Andy - you're what, in your *mid 20s*? You
>> haven't even HAD a "great many years".
>
> More like "nearly 30". It just seems the "best years" of my life are all
> a long way behind me now - and they weren't even that great. Not a happy
> thought...
Mid 20's = nearly 30 in my book. I'm pushing 40 myself.
There's no reason to *predict* that the future will be gloomy. Being a
pessimist ain't all it's cracked up to be.
Jim
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:29:56 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest
> to "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still
> tell you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
Yes. I've said before, you remind me of me 15 years ago. There's a
reason I've said that.
BTW, you never answered my question about your knowledge with regards to
identity management....Random thought for the moment, just happened to
hit my mind again.
Jim
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:06:54 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>> Seriously, you haven't partied yet, but you're not too old if that
>> was
>> what you were thinking, trust me on that. Just mix in, it doesn't
>> matter what age you are.
>
> *thinks about my dad dancing at my cousin's wedding*
>
> Um, yes. Yes it does...
Was he having a good time? That's the important thing. What other
people think *really* *doesn't* *matter*. Took me a LONG time to learn
that lesson.
Jim
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:4876694a$1@news.povray.org...
>>>> Move out > party > ladies. LOTS of ladies. ;)
>>> Er, yeah, RIGHT. Because that last party I went to was LOADED with
>>> ladies. If by "ladies" you in fact mean "schoolgirls". :-P
>>
>> :op Heh, you think of them as 'schoolgirls'
>
> Is 13 not "schoolgirl" then?
Of course 13 is a school girls age. Of course that age group is there at
the wedding! They're always there.
Did you spot the 18, 19, 20, 22, year old (or older) in the corner? Did
you speak to her? (Whether or not you knew she was married, alone, with bf,
whatever..?)
>
>> but in fact, I bet some of them are way ahead of you in the brain
>> department Andrew.
>
> Cool. I mean, it's not like I already have a massive inferiority complex
> or anything like that...
Gah, cop out. ;)
>
>> What did they (the young ladies) think of you Andrew? Did you dance
>> with them too? I mean, you were obviously there at the party, so what did
>> you do?
>
> 1. I can't dance.
EVERYONE CAN DANCE!!! Just wiggle yer legs and arms and head an' you'll
be fine! ;)
>
> 2. At that particular party, there didn't seem to be much point anyway.
Oh, it was a boring party. Well, that figures, I mean, it was a wedding
after all, and not a 'party' as such.
I don't blame you for not dancing in this case.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Hooookey, we appear to have our parties crossed here...
1. My cousin's wedding, where my dad decided to dance. I was probably
one of the youngest people there. (My cosin is quite a bit older than me.)
2. That girl's 18th birthday party. Apparently she brought all her girly
mates from school - and their parents. Hence lots of people older than
me, lots of people younger than me, nobody my age. A reasonably fun
evening none the less though.
Two seperate parties. Yes, I have been to that many. :-P Actually, I've
been to more than that, if you must know...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> How about "once or twice per week"? Because that's roughly how often
>> I've contacted him to arrange to meet up. :-P
>
> Have you actually spoken to him? Do you know he's not out of town?
Yeah. I get emails or text messages from him quite often, and I phone
him now and then. But it seems frustratingly difficult to arrange to
actually meet up.
Last weekend, we arranged to meet, but then he ate a kebab and spent the
entire weeking puking.
The weekend before that, we arranged to meet, and on friday we went out
for "a few drinks", and spent the entire weeking with a hangover.
Next weekend he's going on a trip.
Would you like me to continue?
(And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
alone it seems...)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest
>> to "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still
>> tell you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
>
> Yes. I've said before, you remind me of me 15 years ago. There's a
> reason I've said that.
So...when I'm 45 I won't be a head-case any more? :-}
I don't know whether to be relieved or worried...
> BTW, you never answered my question about your knowledge with regards to
> identity management....Random thought for the moment, just happened to
> hit my mind again.
...wuh?
That's too random even for me to follow...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:27:07 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> How about "once or twice per week"? Because that's roughly how often
>>> I've contacted him to arrange to meet up. :-P
>>
>> Have you actually spoken to him? Do you know he's not out of town?
>
> Yeah. I get emails or text messages from him quite often, and I phone
> him now and then. But it seems frustratingly difficult to arrange to
> actually meet up.
Some people lead busy lives. It happens. I'd be surprised if it was
intentional.
> Last weekend, we arranged to meet, but then he ate a kebab and spent the
> entire weeking puking.
>
> The weekend before that, we arranged to meet, and on friday we went out
> for "a few drinks", and spent the entire weeking with a hangover.
>
> Next weekend he's going on a trip.
>
> Would you like me to continue?
Like I said, some people lead busy lives. At least two of those events
seem to be unanticipated. Shit happens. <shrug>
> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
> alone it seems...)
So start with something with a small group, or in a public place.
Jim
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:28:27 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> Do you have any *idea* how frustrating it is when you try your damnest
>>> to "just get out there" and nothing comes of it, and yet people still
>>> tell you you need to "stop whining and take some action"?
>>
>> Yes. I've said before, you remind me of me 15 years ago. There's a
>> reason I've said that.
>
> So...when I'm 45 I won't be a head-case any more? :-}
a) I'm not 45, I'm 38 later this year. And you're probably more normal
than you think - you lack a good point of reference.
> I don't know whether to be relieved or worried...
Don't be worried. My point is *you'll get there*. But you also have to
make incremental changes. I'm a *totally* introverted person most of the
time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago. Be willing to take
chances. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No big deal. If
it does work out, hey, that's great. That's how we learn and grow.
>> BTW, you never answered my question about your knowledge with regards
>> to identity management....Random thought for the moment, just happened
>> to hit my mind again.
>
> ...wuh?
>
> That's too random even for me to follow...
See? There are people even more random than you. ;-)
Post from Monday, 1:53 PM BST-7:
--- snip ---
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>
>> It amazes me how many companies don't understand the idea of identity
>> management.
>
> Oh HELL yeah!
But it seems you have at least a rudimentary grasp of the concepts - have
you done any integration work for disparate systems?
--- snip ---
You replied to the question about variance in site size, but not this
earlier bit of the post. :-)
Jim
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:24:45 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Hence lots of people older than
> me, lots of people younger than me, nobody my age.
What difference does that make? My wife is 6 years *older* than me.
My dad was *20 years* older than my mom. (And yes, I know that at your
age, that's not reasonable - my point is that age *doesn't* *matter* - at
least not as long as it's legal)
Jim
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:4876700b$1@news.povray.org...
> Hooookey, we appear to have our parties crossed here...
Oh, well you didn't explain it very well.
>
> 1. My cousin's wedding, where my dad decided to dance. I was probably one
> of the youngest people there. (My cosin is quite a bit older than me.)
>
> 2. That girl's 18th birthday party. Apparently she brought all her girly
> mates from school - and their parents. Hence lots of people older than me,
> lots of people younger than me, nobody my age. A reasonably fun evening
> none the less though.
>
> Two seperate parties. Yes, I have been to that many. :-P Actually, I've
> been to more than that, if you must know...
Good, and did you let your hair down? ;)
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Orchid XP v8" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48767099$1@news.povray.org...
> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
> alone it seems...)
Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip about
potential boyfriends after the date. ;)
As well as keeping safe, that is.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:48767560$1@news.povray.org...
> Don't be worried. My point is *you'll get there*. But you also have to
> make incremental changes. I'm a *totally* introverted person most of the
> time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago. Be willing to take
> chances. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No big deal. If
> it does work out, hey, that's great. That's how we learn and grow.
>
I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I can't
pinpoint a single event that changed it, or started a change, but now I'm
preping to speak at the largest Tech conference in SA, and I'm looking
forward to it.
That said, if I;m at a party and don't know anyoen, I'll stand in the corner
sip on a drink and stare at the ceiling.
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:53:36 +0200, Gail Shaw wrote:
> "Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
> news:48767560$1@news.povray.org...
>
>> Don't be worried. My point is *you'll get there*. But you also have
>> to make incremental changes. I'm a *totally* introverted person most
>> of the time, but I took a teaching job 6 years ago. Be willing to take
>> chances. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No big deal.
>> If it does work out, hey, that's great. That's how we learn and grow.
>>
>>
> I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
> strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I
> can't pinpoint a single event that changed it, or started a change, but
> now I'm preping to speak at the largest Tech conference in SA, and I'm
> looking forward to it.
That's something that I started doing back in about 1998 - speaking at
conferences. I've got a good friend from Ireland who also was an
instructor - he describes himself as an "extroverted introvert" when he's
teaching. It's actually a very common trait amongst technical
instructors, it seems. Surprisingly more common than one might expect.
I think for me the "turning point" started on board a cruise ship in the
Bahamas (with the group of Novell SysOps I was with - the group that's
similar to the Microsoft MVP group) drinking margaritas, and a couple of
the guys came over and were giving me grief about something; I turned and
said something to them that was *totally* unexpected (and apparently
quite forceful), and the world didn't end. None of us remember *what* I
said (I even asked one of them recently when he reappeared on the scene),
but the effect was pretty immediate.
I *always* have had problems speaking my mind. It's taken me many, many
years to get to the point where I'm comfortable expressing a dissenting
opinion. Now I do so regularly - and I've been having to train a "new"
boss (as of last November) on the idea that dissenting opinions aren't
bad, they're necessary. I believe she understands that, and I've
explained to my whole team that because I'm an "IT geek", I may sometimes
say things that can be taken offense to, but it's not intended that way.
Ever. Or rather, when it is, it'll be *really* obvious.
That said, I tend to be extremely cautious in how I word things to my
teammates. I've had a few comment that they've never seen me act rude
towards anyone - and one just the other day said she can't picture me
being mean or rude to *anyone*. I certainly can, I just reign it in,
especially when I'm talking to a group of non-geeks who don't understand
that I filter inbound rather than outbound. (The so-called "tact
filter").
> That said, if I;m at a party and don't know anyoen, I'll stand in the
> corner sip on a drink and stare at the ceiling.
Same here.
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"Jim Henderson" <nos### [at] nospamcom> wrote in message
news:48767938$1@news.povray.org...
>
> That's something that I started doing back in about 1998 - speaking at
> conferences. I've got a good friend from Ireland who also was an
> instructor - he describes himself as an "extroverted introvert" when he's
> teaching. It's actually a very common trait amongst technical
> instructors, it seems. Surprisingly more common than one might expect.
Sounds about right. Describes some of the speakers I've seen at conferences
very well.
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St. wrote:
> Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip about
> potential boyfriends after the date. ;)
>
> As well as keeping safe, that is.
Well since you seem to know something about it, what I'd like to know is
this: Why do schoolgirls have to hold hands when going to the toilets?
WTF is THAT about??
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> Two seperate parties. Yes, I have been to that many. :-P Actually, I've
>> been to more than that, if you must know...
>
> Good, and did you let your hair down? ;)
More so at the second one...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48771574@news.povray.org...
> St. wrote:
>
>> Well, that can be typical of girls I'm afraid. They like to gossip
>> about potential boyfriends after the date. ;)
>>
>> As well as keeping safe, that is.
>
> Well since you seem to know something about it, what I'd like to know is
> this: Why do schoolgirls have to hold hands when going to the toilets? WTF
> is THAT about??
Lol, no idea. I can't say I've ever seen girls holding hands to go to
the toilets.
~Steve~
>
> --
> http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
> http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
> alone it seems...)
>
Not a bad thing, actually.
See, if I call up friends once a week, and suggest we hang out, even if
it's just two of us, there is nothing wrong with that. No one gets
creeped out. A new friend might get a little confused by that, but a
date would probably find that a little stalkerish.
Good news is, if she wants to double date, she's not thinking of you as
'just a friend'.
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>>> It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely transform
>>> something...
>>
>> Only if you let it.
>
> Oh no, it *does* transform it. (It transforms it from "hey, I scored" to
> "hey, I have a new person to talk to".) The QUESTION is how important
> that transformation is. ;-)
>
The difference, the only difference, is that she was honest with you
about her life right then.
A woman gives you her number does not equate to 'you scored'. Her
thoughts could range from 'nice guy, would be a good friend' to
something much more primal. You can't know, in most cases, what she was
thinking. This one just happened to tell you.
Myself, I'm stunned. You heard the 'bad breakup' bit and didn't offer
her a shoulder to cry on?
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>>>> It's amazing how one small piece of information can completely
>>>> transform something...
>>>
>>> Only if you let it.
>>
>> Oh no, it *does* transform it. (It transforms it from "hey, I scored"
>> to "hey, I have a new person to talk to".) The QUESTION is how
>> important that transformation is. ;-)
>
> The difference, the only difference, is that she was honest with you
> about her life right then.
>
> A woman gives you her number does not equate to 'you scored'.
No - but a guy *mentioning* that a "hot girl" gave him her phone number
usually does. ;-)
Commedians use this effect all the time; what your audience infers from
what you tell them can be completely transformed by a single fact
mentioned or not mentioned.
> Myself, I'm stunned. You heard the 'bad breakup' bit and didn't offer
> her a shoulder to cry on?
I heard the "bad breakup" part while I was standing 50 miles away. :-P
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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>> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting
>> me alone it seems...)
>
> Not a bad thing, actually.
>
> Good news is, if she wants to double date, she's not thinking of you as
> 'just a friend'.
Nah. She's explicitly not looking for a BF.
She's only ever met me, like, once, so she probably just wants somebody
to protect her in case it turns out I'm stark raving mad. (Or in case I
decide to try to make a move on her I guess - I have no clue how to do
that, but she doesn't know that...)
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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On Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:53:36 +0200, "Gail Shaw" <initialsurname@sentech sa dot
com> wrote:
>I was totally introverted about 6 years ago. Terrified of speaking to
>strangers, wouldn't even contemplate any form of public speaking. I can't
>pinpoint a single event that changed it,
My first public speaking experience was a surprise. I was involved in some
background union activity offshore. The chairman opened a meeting by saying that
he could not stay and Stevie would chair it instead. That left me with no option
but to stand up and speak. Looking back on it I am glad that I was thrown in at
the deep end as I did not have time to worry and get nervous. I use the same
principle today, I never prepare a speech only the subject and rely on knowing
the subject. I'm not afraid to admit I don't know the answer to questions but I
will come back with the answers later.
On an aside, the week before last I was giving a talk to my local computer club
about the wonders of Excel. I went really well only three out of the audience of
ten fell asleep. :) It was past their bedtime though. (I am the only one who is
not a pensioner)
Ah! Well, win some, lose some :)
--
Regards
Stephen
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As an aside...
My therapist seems to think that I'm nervous of public speaking because
I'm autistic. I was under the impression that *all* people are nervous
of public speaking. (Or at least, the vast majority of people anyway.) I
didn't think this was "abnormal" in any way...?
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
>
> (And girlie is apparently even more busy, and not too keen on meeting me
> alone it seems...)
>
just for you
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-07-06/
dilbert has some good ideas ;-)
Tom
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Invisible wrote:
> As an aside...
>
> My therapist seems to think that I'm nervous of public speaking because
> I'm autistic. I was under the impression that *all* people are nervous
> of public speaking. (Or at least, the vast majority of people anyway.) I
> didn't think this was "abnormal" in any way...?
It's not. I used to be nervous of public speaking, to the extent that
I'd bail on assembly bible readings at school and even considered
skipping some uni classes. I'm still scared of it now, even after giving
papers at research conference and being a best man three times. It's the
build-up I can't stand, it just terrifies me. However, once I'm up there
I usually have great fun and wonder what all the fuss was about... weird.
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