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So, I've finished the Teaser for my ongoing project, a short made with Silo,
POV-Ray and some coding skill. ;-)
Because of the filesize, I can't upload the teaser here, but for anyone
who's interested:
http://www.nolights.de/chasm/chasm_teaser_divx.avi
Obviously, as you can see by the name, the video is encoded with Divx and
MP3 for the Audio, so you'll need those two to view it.
I'm planning on making a seperate sub-section on my website for the short,
but as it is all still in preproduction, there's not much to show yet. I'm
still designing things and have not even a finished character, but the main
part's of the story are done, although they're shifting around in what
manner they'll take place... I hope to complete some designs real soon ( if
the spare time and creative mind allow it), in order to begin rendering the
first few things to show off.
Comments and questions in regard to the Teaser would be welcome! :-)
Regards,
Tim
--
aka "Tim Nikias v2.0"
Homepage: <http://www.nolights.de>
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Tim Nikias wrote:
> Comments and questions in regard to the Teaser would be welcome! :-)
Looks very professional! I was hoping to see the "children", so it's a
good teaser! ;-)
One sentence struck me as oddly worded. I'd have said "Some thing would
have best been left imperfect" perhaps. Or just "Some things should have
been left imperfect".
--
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)
Luke, the Force is a powerful ally,
second only to The QuickSave.
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> Looks very professional! I was hoping to see the "children", so it's a
> good teaser! ;-)
Hehe, thank you! :-)
> One sentence struck me as oddly worded. I'd have said "Some thing would
> have best been left imperfect" perhaps. Or just "Some things should have
> been left imperfect".
"Some things had better been left imperfect" is what I wrote, I thought it
expresses how it's more of a thought, than a fact, that some things
shouldn't have been perfected. Not?
Regards,
Tim
--
aka "Tim Nikias v2.0"
Homepage: <http://www.nolights.de>
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Tim Nikias wrote:
> "Some things had better been left imperfect" is what I wrote, I thought it
> expresses how it's more of a thought, than a fact, that some things
> shouldn't have been perfected. Not?
I'm just saying, as a native speaker of American english, the verb
construction sounds awkward. While "had been left imperfect" is a good
conjugation, putting the "better" in there without adjusting the tense
throws the sentence off.
Hmmm... The problem, I think, is that "had been left imperfect" is
(IIRC) future-perfect. It's something that's saying "when viewed from
the future, this already had passed and continued for a while." "I had
been running when..." Throwing the "better" in there negates the sense
of the sentence, so there's an awkwardness in the phrasing. You're
saying "as viewed from the future, it hasn't happened", but the sentence
doesn't have any subjunctive in it to tell you it's a hypothetical.
You're saying they *had* been left imperfect, then negating it, basically.
Maybe it sounds right if you're British or something? :-) It was just
kind of jarring, because it didn't sound right. "Some things would
better have been left imperfect" is the closest I can think of. You need
the "should" or "would" in there, methinks.
--
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)
Luke, the Force is a powerful ally,
second only to The QuickSave.
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> I'm just saying, as a native speaker of American english, the verb...
I'm native speaker of American english as well, just don't have that much
practice. Living in Germany and all, you know. Not much people around with
whom to converse to keep a steady idea of how english is meant to be, if you
understand what I mean.
> ...construction sounds awkward. While "had been left imperfect" is a good
> conjugation, putting the "better" in there without adjusting the tense
> throws the sentence off.
> SNIP some more insightful stuff, but too long to quote again...
Yeah, you're line of argumentation makes sense. I'll change those frames
ASAP and will quietly switch the old version with the new one. ;-) Thanks
though, it's always good to be sure that everything is A+. :-)
Regards,
Tim
--
aka "Tim Nikias v2.0"
Homepage: <http://www.nolights.de>
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-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1
Darren New wrote:
> Maybe it sounds right if you're British or something? :-) It was just
> kind of jarring, because it didn't sound right. "Some things would
> better have been left imperfect" is the closest I can think of. You need
> the "should" or "would" in there, methinks.
>
According to this page: http://www.bartleby.com/64/C001/029.html
<quote>
Had better is an idiomatic verb phrase meaning ?ought to, must.? It
resembles an auxiliary verb in that its form never changes to show
person or tense and that it can?t follow another verb in a phrase
(that is, you can?t say He will had better leave, for example).
</quote>
So I understand Tim's sentence as meaning: "Some things which ought
to have been left imperfect"
Jerome
PS: However English is not my native language either, so I can't
comment on how frequent this use is (however I think I have already
seen it several times in books...)
- --
******************************
* Jerome M. Berger *
* mailto:jeb### [at] free fr *
* http://jeberger.free.fr/ *
******************************
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=DCL7
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> Had better is an idiomatic verb phrase meaning ?ought to, must.? It
> PS: However English is not my native language either, so I can't
> comment on how frequent this use is (however I think I have already
> seen it several times in books...)
Yeah, but (bizarrely) it refers to the future. "You had better fix those
bugs before we release, or the customers will complain." In this
context, "Some things had better be left imperfect," would suggest that
it is referring to a future design -- some weapon of the future, perhaps
-- whereas I think Tim is specifically trying to suggest that it is too
late to do anything about it. There isn't a nice way of phrasing it for
the past without doing what Darren did (and Tim subsequently said he was
trying to avoid) and suggesting that it is a fact.
As a British speaker of English, I would hesitate to use "had better" in
a context such as this. I would prefer to rephrase the sentence
completely.
--
Though I'm deep inside a storm it won't defeat me, Floating free.
Look out here comes trouble, Maybe I'm just pushing through a dream,
But strange how things feel quite real to me. http://surreal.istic.org/
That which will guide the lost child back to her mother's arms... EXILE.
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> As a British speaker of English, I would hesitate to use "had better" in
> a context such as this. I would prefer to rephrase the sentence
> completely.
Hm, really? Probably part of the difference between US and British
English... What would you say?
I'll elaborate on the context of the sentence I want to convey (as far as it
is possible with one-liners in a teaser, of course):
As the Teaser says, man is good at getting close to perfection. I then show
a fuse closing in on a stick of dynamite, suggesting another series of
improvements upon that matter. The end-result of an improvement of a stick
of dynamite is debatable, is it just to create more forceful explosions? Or
what about the Neutron bomb, killing only organic matter? It's something I
want to hint at, but not elaborate upon. So I end with saying that with some
things, improvement can be dangerous. And, as is the setting of the short,
mankind blew himself up with the improvements. And thus:
"Some things would better have been left 'imperfect'..."
shortly followed by
"Because that's how he wiped himself off the earth."
Would that be correct, or still clumsy?
Regards,
Tim
--
aka "Tim Nikias v2.0"
Homepage: <http://www.nolights.de>
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Tim Nikias wrote:
> "Some things would better have been left 'imperfect'..."
> Would that be correct, or still clumsy?
It certainly sounds correct to me, with the addition of the word "should".
--
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)
Luke, the Force is a powerful ally,
second only to The QuickSave.
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> > As a British speaker of English, I would hesitate to use "had
> > better" in a context such as this. I would prefer to rephrase the
> > sentence completely.
>
> Hm, really? Probably part of the difference between US and British
> English... What would you say?
Probably just me, actually. I can't say I use "had better" at all
frequently; it's fine for informal use but I don't like it in writing.
I'd probably go with one of Darren's suggestions, or something like,
"Achieving perfection can sometimes be costly."
> "Some things would better have been left 'imperfect'..."
> Would that be correct, or still clumsy?
I would change the word order to "Some things would have been better
left imperfect," but there's not much to choose between them.
--
I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study
mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and
philosophy... in order to give their children a right to study painting,
poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain. J. Adams
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