|
|
clipka <ano### [at] anonymousorg> wrote:
> Am 27.09.2015 um 03:33 schrieb And:
> > I know there is grammar errors, is it very terrible in your views?
>
> Let's put it this way: It's no match for the high quality of the image.
>
> Also, while I would normally have suggested how to change the text for
> the better, I've been hesitant in this case, hoping some native English
> speaker might step in. Because although I presume I have a pretty good
> general idea of what you're trying to say, the flawed grammar makes it
> too ambiguous for me to know exactly.
>
> Seeing however that nobody has stepped up so far, I'll try a few
> suggestions.
>
> It's easy to fix the first line to have proper grammar, using either of
> the following:
>
> "Sometimes a star falls, we hope it rises."
> "Sometimes stars fall, we hope they rise."
>
> However, this in itself is not sufficient, as we still don't know
> exactly what you're talking about: Are you pondering the case where a
> star falls despite our hope for it to rise? Or are you talking about our
> hopes that an already fallen star will rise again? Or is this just a
> complete misunderstanding, and the "falling star" is really just a
> translation error, and you're talking about our hope that sometimes a
> "shooting star" might guide us?
>
> So the first line might be any of the following:
>
> "Sometimes a star falls just when we hope for it to rise."
> "Sometimes a star falls that we expected to rise."
> "When a star falls, we hope it rises again."
> "Sometimes we hope for a shooting star to rise."
>
> The second line seems clearer; something like the follwing might do:
>
> "Guiding us to find the way."
> "To give us direction, so that we may find the way."
Well, I said it afresh:
"Sometimes a star falls, we hope it rises.
To give us direction, so that we can find the way."
The complete story is that there are stars. Em... it is a metaphor. Stars
represent the things in our mind that guiding us. One day the one which I
followed disappeared, I was nervous, I didn't know where it went. So what I can
do was looking in all directions.
Lately, I found a right one in the sky and followed it instead.
The figure shows the stars I followed previously is rest in the bowl now, maybe.
Is it good?
Post a reply to this message
|
|