Chambers <ben### [at] pacificwebguycom> wrote:
> Gail Shaw wrote:
....
> Speaking of which, did you get the feeling that the Dwarves were only
> used in the movie for comic relief?  I found it quite disrespectful.
>
....
Not NEARLY as disrespectful as this little song form "Mr. Frito"
in Harvard Lampoon's "Bored of the Rings":
===============================================================
  "A King of Elves there was of old,
      Saranrap by name,
  Who slew the Narcs at Mellowmarsh
      And Sorhed's host did tame.

  And with him marched the stubby dwarves
      Drafted from their mines,
  But when the fearsome Battle raged
      They hid behind the lines.

 Sing: Clearasil, metrecal, lavoris in chorus
  They hid behind the lines!

  Angered was the mighty King
      About to raise the dickens,
  'Just let me get my hands,' quoth he,
      'On those half-pint chickens!'

  Fearful were the chicken-Dwarves,
      But mickle crafty too.
  King Yellowbac, their skins to save,
      The elves did try to woo.

 Sing: Twist-a-cap, reynoldswrap, gardol and duz
  The elves he tried to woo!

  'If you doubt our loyalty,'
      Yello told the King,
  'Take this gift, a dwarfish sword
      That packs a mighty sting.

  'Clearasil, it's called by name,'
      The clever Dwarf spoke on,
  'Take this bribe, and let us let
      Bygones be bygone.'

 Sing: Cadillac, pickapack, Edsel and coke
  Bygones be bygone.

  'I accept this wondrous gift
      And think you Dwarves are tops,'
  Said he, as he took the sword
      And smote him in the chops.

  And since that day it's said by all
      In ballad, lay and poem,
  'Only trust an elf or dwarf
      As far as you can throw 'em!'

 Sing: Oxydol, geritol, wheaties and Trix.
  As far as you can throw 'em!"

===============================================================
I'm afraid the Hobbits (Boggies) don't fare much better.:
===============================================================

  "We boggies are a hairy folk
  Who like to eat until we choke.
  Loving all like friend and brother,
  And hardly ever eat each other.

  Ever hungry, ever thirsting,
  Never stop till belly's bursting.
  Chewing chop and pork and muttons,
  A merry race of boring gluttons.

 Sing: Gobble, goggle, gobble, gobble,
  Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.

  Boggies gather round the table,
  Eat as much as you are able.
  Gorge yourselves from moon till noon
  (Don't forget your plate and spoon).

  Anything edible, we've got dibs on,
  And hope we all die with our bibs on.
  Ever gay, we'll never grow up,
  Come! And sing and play and throw up!

 Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
  Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble!"

===============================================================

The whole text is here:
http://denrob.freeshell.org/stories/bored.txt

(There may be a copyright issue. I don't really know.
I just stumbled on it.)

Watch our for the Nozdrul,
Mike C.

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