"So who else has access to this room?"
"Anybody with sufficiently good social-engineering skills, apparently."

"What's that stepladder doing in here?"
"Hmm, I don't remember that being there..."

"Why is the door not locked?"
"Don't know."

"So who checks the backups when you're not here?"
"Oh, nobody. Our Director of IT thinks it's unecessary."

"Why are the backup tapes not in the location stated in the procedure 
document?"
"No particular reason. Somebody just decided to move them one day."

"Who is your deputy?"
"I don't have one any more."
"When will you be getting one?"
"I am not aware of any plan to recruit one."

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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Actually, you know what? Screw that lot! Things NOT to say:

"We use TCP/IP over Avian Carries as per RFC #2549."

"The Administrator password is steganographically hidden in the welcome 
matt area."

"That's what SHE said!"

"I know what you did last summer."

"Last Wednesday a man indecently touched my ham."

"No! It's mine! My prresssssshhhhious....."

"Ying ting tiddle I po!"

"Sometimes there is a sunset. In that sunset is cottage cheese. It 
doesn't burn, because it's made of tar and asphalt. Eat it if you want 
head worms. They know what you're thinking."

Any quote from here:

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20080105
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20070203

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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"Invisible" <voi### [at] devnull> wrote in message
news:48623bdc$1@news.povray.org...

Here's a couple more I've done to my auditors.

"Am I correct in saying that this is a potentially very large security
hole?"
"Yes"
"What plans are in place to resolve this?"
"None."

"So, this single desktop machine is reponsible for monitoring all the
servers in the environment. What happens if it fails?"
"We all go home early."

"What security policy applies to the passwords?"
"The domain's configured security policy."
"That's not possible"
"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Why are there disk errors dating back 4 months on this server"
"Because the server team can't be bothered to replace the faulty hard drive,
and no one cares about the system anyway"

"Who is replacing you when you leave?"
"No one. Management has just decided that my position is unnecessary."

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Gail Shaw wrote:
> Here's a couple more I've done to my auditors.

Sounds like the kinds of things I'd say. Now I know why my boss never 
let me talk to customers or investors unless he wanted honesty. It looks 
so much worse when someone else says it. :-)

-- 
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)
  Helpful housekeeping hints:
   Check your feather pillows for holes
    before putting them in the washing machine.

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"Darren New" <dne### [at] sanrrcom> wrote in message
news:48629ea3$1@news.povray.org...
> Gail Shaw wrote:
> > Here's a couple more I've done to my auditors.
>
> Sounds like the kinds of things I'd say. Now I know why my boss never
> let me talk to customers or investors unless he wanted honesty. It looks
> so much worse when someone else says it. :-)

<g> Yup. I don't get paid to be diplomatic. I get paid to ensure problems
don't happen and fix them when they do.
Normally I don't get to speak to auditors. I wonder why...

Once people get used to it, they tend to come to me for answers because they
know I'm not going to sugar-coat the situation.

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