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>You see a physically attractive person, and your first thought is,
"Nice blobs!"
> Rather than hang a picture on a nail you just yell at it :
object {
union {
object{
Painting
}
object {
Wall
}
}
And can't figure out why it keeps sliding off.
>You boot your computer with multiple OSs to see which loads the new
version of POV-Ray faster.
>You leave your estate to the POV team.
>You think you can do better than reality.
>Someone asks you to define a word for them and you start off by saying
"#declare..."
>You think to yourself "cool lens flare effect" while you're watching
REAL
lensflares on TV, off car windscreens, etc
> You look at waterfalls, dust, rain, snow, etc, and think: "If only I
had a fractalized, vector based particle-system modeler with collision
detection..."
>You can see the luminescent green wireframe behind everything you see
>You watch the Making of Mist video to see what modeler they use
>You really respect that big guy who modeled all the great animated
scenery
around you within only six days but feel jealous that he have this big
parallel multiprocessor machine to make quality animation at realtime.
Then someone says that this guy, his machine and maybe the scene is one
thing...
>You start playing "Guess The Rendering App" during raytraced scenes in
movies, to the annoyance of all your friends watching with you.. (they
have *no* idea what you're talking about)
>You think that the evolution theory was based on the triangular origin
of the wheel.
>You see a nice looking house down the street, so you go ask the owner
if you can see the source code for it.
>You think history repeats itself because of a #while loop.
>You wear fuzzy clothing to soften your shadow.
>You spend $2000 on upgrading your computer so that POV-Ray runs faster,
and you scoff at Rhino for costing so much.
> You take your POV-Ray to work and raytrace a little animation while
out for lunch.
> You collapse in the middle of a sermon in church, mumbling about CSGs,
#declares, and finishes
> The alarm clock goes off, and you try thinking:
object { SnoozeButton translate y*-0.25 }
... and then can't figure out why the alarm keeps ringing.
>You purchase Toy Story for inspiration- Then do a better version for
fun.
> You're watching Bay Watch on the telly, see Pamela A. walking by and
>You've tried rendering hair with each strand as an object
>You decide to render a bird ..... creating each feather separately.
>You've seriously thought about investing in a true 3D scanner.
> You create a motor using every part ..... even the ones that don't
show ........just for authenticity.
>The name David K. Buck means something to you
> You spent the whole of Titanic wishing the actors would get out of the
way. (! - both times...)
> You can draw things quicker in POV-Ray than you can using a pencil and
paper.
>You buy model kits just to get measurements from and never actually
build them.
>You think this thread constitutes a violation of privacy.
>When people ask you, "What's up?", you reply "Y", and they say, "I was
just wondering", and you say, "well now you know".
>You hate games, but you buy Riven just to look at the pictures.
>Your possible names for children:
Ray
Voxel
Max
Mandel
Tracy
Julia
Vector
Nurb
>You converted POV-Ray into an operating system; now you've got all the
system resources to do your renderings
>You asked Intel if they can develop a chip for POV-Ray.
>You're sick of your slow-assed PII/400.
> You make scenes by typing out the .POV code without using a modeler or
even pencil and paper. And it renders perfectly on the first try.
>You prefer bald romantic partners, because they're easier to model.
>You know exactly what a scene look likes after reading only its POV
script.
>You know exactly where the Sun is by looking at the Moon.
> Suddenly, the almost godlike patience required to teach young children
comes naturally to you.
>You have a newfound respect for what God went through creating the
world, and find it very hard to believe that even He could do it in only
six days.
>You can tell which programs were used to create an image.
>You insist that the photo store use pixels to describe all image
measurements.
> Your 18 year-old daughter asks if she can marry one of the POV Team,
and you give her your complete blessing.
>Your room loads line by line in the morning when you wake up.
> Instead of a photographic memory, you have a photo-realistic memory.
>You think Windows loads fast.
> You describe a criminal to the cops in terms of a mesh.
--
"It may be that my progeny[humans] will
teem over the earth like locusts,
stripping it bare,until they drown
in their own filth and hate the very
sight of one another and go
mad. Still they must go on,
because to grow without limit is
good and to accept the limits of the
law is evil." Ch.9-6 Ishmael,
"And, give them[our culture] a story
to enact in which the world
is a foe, and one day, inevitably,
their foe will lie bleeding to
death at their feet, as the,
world is now" Ch. 5-4, Ishmael, By Daniel Quinn
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Here are a few more, courtesy of K.Tyler-
You know you've been raytracing too long if:
>You were ever dragged out of a theater for yelling "Cheap rasterized
graphics!!!" in the middle of Toy Story.
>You have ever said "I don't need no stinking modelers!!!"
>You have ever "Hard-Coded" a bezier patch.
>You see the movie credits going by instead of seeing Lenses by Panaflex
it always seems to say Lens Effects by Chris Colefax.
>Your wife's raytraced image you made to flatter her is the only one you see
of her anymore.
>Your computers hard drive only has 2 directories listed. One for your OS
the other called povray.
>You think it took him six days because he was using Win95
>You go through more that one keyboard a year.
>You wonder why you ever collected those 200 megs worth of paint and image
manipulation programs now rusting somewhere on your hard drive.
>The words-#declare, #include, sphere, translate, rotate, texture, and
pigment are permanently
burned into your retina.
>You boot up in the morning and your computer has a message waiting for
you that says "Come on buddy get a life !"
>When doing animations you realize you have memorized every multiple of 360
up to 100.
>You post an idea to a news group about starting an Internet movie project
using PovRay.
>You personal correspondence to friends starts out with #Dear
>You want to cheat and look at nature's source code.
>You get a degree in engineering just so you can make better scenes.
>You get lots of "undefined or invalid # directive"-errors when programming
in C++
>You start coming up with your own names for colors.
>All your browser bookmarks have something to do with raytracing.
>You consider 2-d art that of fools.
>You POV-Ray manual is on the same shelf with your Bible (or Koran, or
Torah)
>You kiss your POV-Ray manual when you drop it.
>You start perceiving people who don't raytrace as a lower form of life.
>You tell stories to your kids that #include stuff like "Once there was a
polygon mesh who was very sad because he was only Gourard shaded."
>Whenever you write include, even in essays, etc, you always add a pound
sing.
#include<file>
>Every computer upgrade you have made in the past three years has been to
accommodate more complex images.
>It takes longer to parse an input file than it does to render it.
>You wonder which raytracer God used. He tells you.
>You dream that you are rendering.
>You have ever wondered at breakfast what the ior of syrup is.
>You are Compulsive, Neurotic, Anti-Social, Paranoid, and Manic-Depressive.
But basically happy.
scene.
>You think the word normal means bumpy.
>You can describe in perfect, legal, pov syntax, how to re-create everything
in your computer room using primitives and csg operations.
>You reprogram POV-Ray in assembly language just for that little bit of
extra speed.
>www.povray.org is your default homepage in your web browser.
>You wonder if ground fog or atmosphere will look better for your company's
market share pie chart.
>
>
--
"It may be that my progeny[humans] will
teem over the earth like locusts,
stripping it bare,until they drown
in their own filth and hate the very
sight of one another and go
mad. Still they must go on,
because to grow without limit is
good and to accept the limits of the
law is evil." Ch.9-6 Ishmael,
"And, give them[our culture] a story
to enact in which the world
is a foe, and one day, inevitably,
their foe will lie bleeding to
death at their feet, as the,
world is now" Ch. 5-4, Ishmael, By Daniel Quinn
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From: Ron Parker
Subject: Re: You know you've been raytracing too long if...
Date: 13 Aug 1998 13:20:37
Message: <35d31255.0@news.povray.org>
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On Thu, 13 Aug 1998 10:57:24 -0500, Alex Magidow <axi### [at] mninternet> wrote:
>>You boot up in the morning and your computer has a message waiting for
> you that says "Come on buddy get a life !"
>>You POV-Ray manual is on the same shelf with your Bible (or Koran, or
>Torah)
>>You kiss your POV-Ray manual when you drop it.
If you still boot your computer, or if you actually have a printed manual,
you haven't been raytracing long enough. (Though the mandatory copies of
Ray Tracing Creations and Ray Tracing Worlds are of course exempt.)
My contribution: You know you've been raytracing too long when...
You consider offering to drive to Indianapolis and buy Chris Young lunch in
exchange for his autograph on your copy of Ray Tracing Creations. (!)
Post a reply to this message
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