Am 13.08.2010 21:48, schrieb andrel:

> Here is my problem. The structure of that text is that it starts with a
> hopefully interesting observation. Then follows a part that is
> deliberately fuzzy and open for attacks from anywhere. It ends with
> something that is meant as a sort of punchline. It should come as a
> surprise and make the reader realize that all objections he or she had
> while reading the previous paragraph have some counterpart in how
> science is judges and granted. That should give the reader a new angle
> to look at the participation of women in science and engineering. Only,
> that is not going to happen, so this structure obviously does not work. :(
> I don't know how to do it right though. Taking the reader by the hand
> and pointing out the obvious and less obvious parallels makes the text
> even longer while it also spoils the fun for me and that lonely soul
> that did get the implicit message.

Maybe you should first figure out whether you want to inform or entertain?

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