On Mon, 01 Feb 2010 10:09:37 -0800, Darren New wrote:

> Small talk works *way* better when you listen instead of speak. Everyone
> likes to talk about themselves. So until you find common ground, simply
> ask the other person questions about themselves, let them talk about
> whatever they want, and listen for something you can contribute.  Don't
> be thinking about what you're going to *say* next, but instead think
> about what you're going to ask them next.  Of course, once you've talked
> to the person long enough to get past the "I never met you before"
> stage, it's easier, but you want to get past that initial awkwardness of
> not having anything to talk about. But for some it takes a conscious
> effort to learn to do this.

I have a very good friend in the UK who made a comment about this, and 
it's absolutely true.  People LOVE to talk about themselves, because it's 
what they know the best.  Ask a couple of questions - "So, what do you 
think about this weather we're having?" or "Did you catch the game last 
night?" or anything starting with "What do you think about ..." will 
generally get a conversation going.

Even if you don't care about the answer, that's a great way to get people 
to start talking.

And I agree with your comment about looking people in the eye while 
talking to them; maybe not a constant thing (that gets creepy after a 
while), but people do respond to being looked at.

Jim

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