Dear Mr Sanhord [Actually, I'm not Sanhord, but hey...]

With so much on your mind, it's easy to let data protection slide 
farther down on your list of priorities. [Um, WTF? No it isn't. That's 
pretty much priority #1, constantly.] Until you lose data, that is. Then 
you not only think about the loss of data, but worry about the loss of 
business. [And loss of our license to operate, for that matter...]

If your company is risking revenue by having insufficient data 
protection, it's time to consider making a call to Dell. [Uh, no, it's 
time somebody was fired! Hence we have multiple systems in place 
precisely to prevent data loss...] We offer many simple solutions for 
keeping data safe and secure, increasing efficiency, and reducing 
downtime, all while cutting costs. [So... you're going to sell us stuff 
and it will cut our costs? How do you work that out? Last time I 
checked, buying things costs money. :-P ] This means your IT people will 
have more time to focus on driving your business. [I *am* the "IT 
people". And driving the business is BD's job, not mine.]

For more detailed information about Dell solutions, take a look at the 
articles and case studies in the enclosed Connection catelog. This 
month's issue contains valuable information on how to simplify your job 
so you can get more done for less. [Um, OK...]

As a potential Dell customer, [Wait - we're getting this junkmail 
because we *are* a Dell customer! That's how you got my collegue's name, 
FFS!] you are entitled to personalized service from our team of trained 
account managers and advisers. [I.e., salesman.] So pick up the phone 
and call us. By assessing your company's particular needs and 
challenges, we can help you improve the way your company manages its IT 
right now. [That would be Corporate IT's job, not yours.]



Ah, but the "catelog" they sent us is pure gold.

I often get flyers and catelogues sent to me. I mean, our suppliers want 
to encourage us to buy stuff, right? It _is_ their job. So you can 
understand that. Insight UK typically sents me publications of varying 
sizes that contain page after page of product pictures together with 
brief specifications and prices.

This Dell thing, however, is very special indeed. Most pages just 
contain lots of pictures of shiny server hardware, plus a lot of text 
that rambles on about "empowering your business", "improving efficiency" 
and "effortless management". There are no technical details. There are 
no prices. Just unsubstantiated claims of "superior stability", 
"next-generation performance" and "worry-free business". THE ENTIRE 
PUBLICATION IS HOT AIR. There is NO substance to any of it!

Wow, I really wasted 20 minutes of my life on this... I don't know who 
this thing is aimed at. The PHB, I'm guessing, because it's definitely 
*not* aimed at me! ;-)

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