> It turns out that if you have the labels in column A and the dates in 
> column B and you do an XY Scatter Plot, and turn on data labels, it does 
> sort-of the right thing.
>
> However, nothing in hell will convince it to put the dates on the X axis. 
> If you put the data that way round, it spazzes out and doesn't know how to 
> plot the data any more. So I'm stuck with the dates on the Y axis. *sigh*

You can do an XY plot and set the X axis manually to be your date column, 
you then get the attached.  Is that what you want?

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