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The main problem is: "assume Portal physics". It is of no value to speculate
on "what might be" if this is based invalid assumptions. If you assume an
impossible thing, you can logically deduct all kinds of impossible results.
Faultless logic leads often to silly results. Logic has nothing to do with
truth as such - it is a means to truthfully determine if an answer is true
or false, provided you know the assumptions you make are either true or
false.
Of course, this is not the answer you wanted, I realize this. It just makes
not much sense to speculate on this.
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