Tim Cook wrote:
> I am old!
> Three decades, yet!
> And ne'er had the company of a fair maiden
> not even to hold one's hand!
> 
> *disconsolate sigh*

As you get older your chances of finding a *real* maiden get slimmer. 
You might have to settle for someone else:
http://www.brettpond.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/old-hag-small1.jpg

Sam

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