On 14-8-2010 3:54, clipka wrote:
> Am 13.08.2010 21:48, schrieb andrel:
> 
>> Here is my problem. The structure of that text is that it starts with a
>> hopefully interesting observation. Then follows a part that is
>> deliberately fuzzy and open for attacks from anywhere. It ends with
>> something that is meant as a sort of punchline. It should come as a
>> surprise and make the reader realize that all objections he or she had
>> while reading the previous paragraph have some counterpart in how
>> science is judges and granted. That should give the reader a new angle
>> to look at the participation of women in science and engineering. Only,
>> that is not going to happen, so this structure obviously does not 
>> work. :(
>> I don't know how to do it right though. Taking the reader by the hand
>> and pointing out the obvious and less obvious parallels makes the text
>> even longer while it also spoils the fun for me and that lonely soul
>> that did get the implicit message.
> 
> Maybe you should first figure out whether you want to inform or entertain?

yes that is a rather adequate description of my problem; I keep hoping 
that I can do both at the same time. IRL it sometimes works...

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