I've got a problem. I'm only at my best when I'm hateful.

I just got back from a concert my wife and I sponsored to promote her 
candle company (more of a hobby so far). I got to the door with free 
incense samples I intended to pass out, and the door guy doesn't want to 
let me in with them. I repeatedly showed him the name of the company on 
the ticket - right under where it said "presented by" - and showed him 
that the name matched the name on the business cards attached to the 
incense, but he only repeated, "That's just a ticket. Everyone's got 
one." No shit, you moron. Did everyone pay a thousand bucks to "present" 
the show?

Finally got through the door with the samples and relaxed a bit. This 
was a chance for me to not only let people smell the product and get 
names for the mailing list, but to make an impression for the company. I 
did my best to "work the room," only half-faking my cheerful attitude. I 
did all right, but people were a bit cool to me. Some didn't even want 
the free samples and several did not want to sign the mailing list.

I had to stop after passing out half of the samples because the first 
band started. The band sucked (a string quartet dressed as mermaids and 
pirates - no shit), the crowd sucked (meaning I'm probably out a good 
portion of my $1k investment), and my mood began to sour. I started to 
get more and more upset about the idiot at the door and couldn't wait to 
pass out the rest of the samples and get the Hell out of there.

After the band had stopped, I went around the room again. This time my 
cheerful attitude was ENTIRELY faked. At one point, seeing no new faces, 
I reported to my wife that I had "sucked every d*** in the room." This 
fake me was better, however. People were very receptive and asking 
questions, and even large groups were taking the time to pass the list 
around so that every person could "sign" it. One of the girls with whom 
I spoke (and she was a serious sex-bomb) came behind me a few minutes 
later, said she wanted to tip me, and stuffed a five dollar bill into my 
back pocket - I swear it's true. My wife didn't like it, but denied 
being jealous when her friends teased her about it.

So, once again, the nice, happy me loses out to the aggravated me. It 
happens every time. I HATED waiting tables, but I made better tips than 
anyone in the restaurant. I really believed in products I sold 
door-to-door, but failed at selling them. I never thrive in environments 
where I'm happy, but I can cajole and/or intimidate people I despise 
into doing just about anything.

  -Shay

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