> 1. I am insufficiently intelligent to actually acheive a PhD. (I nearly 
> failed my BSc as it is!)

Rubbish!  You've demonstrated several times how quickly you can pick up new, 
often quite challenging, concepts.  You probably almost failed your BSc 
because there were subjects you just weren't interested in that much to put 
in the work.

> 2. I have insufficient money. (I'm still paying for my BSc. Very slowly.)

Aren't there lots of options for getting funding?

> 4. It is *highly* unlikely that having a PhD will make any kind of 
> positive change to my employment situation.

Completely incorrect, I don't even understand why you might think like that.

> 5. Presumably a PhD is a serious amount of hard work. It's not exactly a 
> pleasure cruise. So I'd need a good reason to do one.

Because you will enjoy doing it, and will have many more employment options 
once you are done.

> 6. I rather doubt that you can get a PhD in "doing cool stuff". Presumably 
> it must be something rather more specific than that.

No s**t!  List out all the "cool stuff" you enjoy, then start searching...

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