> Well, every laptop *I* have seen, the battery loses the ability to 
> recharge after a few months, maybe a year.

Never seen that here, and all the people in my department use laptops a lot. 
I have seen two laptops with dead batteries, they were at least 3 years old 
and we just got new batteries for them.

> I've got, like, 4 laptops on my office floor here that all behave this 
> way.

How old are they and what brand?  If they really are only 4 months old then 
just ask for a free replacement.

> How big is this mouse?

You can get them in all sizes, ranging from the tiny travel ones up to full 
size mice.

> My dad has problems to this day with computers randomly dropping their 
> network connections or just plain not seeing the WiFi router at all. To 
> the point that he's lifting floorboards to run cables round the building 
> to make his gear actually ****ing work properly.

Hmm maybe bad/cheap access point/network card/drivers?  I have 3 machines 
running at home over wireless continuously with no problems, in addition 
even my phone, PS3 and Wii connect to it!  At work it's the same, no 
problems.  I guess buying an access point and NIC from the same company 
might help?  Dunno, should be a solvable problem, it's not like nobody can 
get a wireless network to work correctly.

> Plus, AFAIK, WiFi is currently much slower than Ethernet.

About half the speed, but your internet connection will probably be the 
bottleneck.

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