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Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> What do we think of this then?
Muuuch better!
Just a few nits:
Personally, I'd leave "bright" in there. You'll have to decide. :-)
"Learned Tcl/Tk in a week" is misspelled.
Instead of "(see next point)", I'd write "(including those described
next)". This implies there are many you did, but the next ones are most
important.
I'm not sure I'd use the word "routine" in "routine recording of
changes". It sounds mundane. "Proactive recording of changes" perhaps,
or something like that. Something implying it's not just mundane, but
important to be consistent. "Consistent and proactive recording of all
changes in configuration and procedures."
"fault-finding" is maybe a poor choice of words? It sounds like
"figuring out who to blame" to my ears, even tho I know it's the right
term. "fault tracing" perhaps?
Get rid of "(particularly backup and restore)". Seconded. :-)
Year 1: "soft systems analysis and design"? Did you mean "software
systems"?
"Caving" is technically called "spelunking". Not sure if you want to
change that, tho.
http://www.postimage.org/aVjnTir-3282b5978015eb66e807f0718a013507.gif
Overall, yes, much better. I'd hire that one. :-)
--
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)
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