Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Now there's an interesting problem. These guys will have stacks of 
> people applying to them who are *lying through their teeth* about their 
> actual capabilities. 

And they know that!

> How do I distinguish myself from these frauds?

At the interview.

>> Yes. That's exactly the attitude to take. Redo the whole resume with 
>> that sort of thought in mind.
> 
> What, severely exaggerating the truth throughout?

Yes. Bluntly, yes.

>>> Well I'm *supposed* to work with the US dudes, and I'm *supposed* to 
>>> be responsible for planning future upgrades. 
>>
>> You're responsible. You don't have to downplay that either. :-)
> 
> Heh, OK.
> 
>>> You realise that the grades I mentioned are just the good ones, right? 
>>
>> That's the point of a resume.
> 
> My point being that only a few of my grades *were* good. Most of them 
> weren't.

Yes. That's the point of a resume vs a transcript. ;-)

> IIRC, work was graded on a scale from A down to F, with U meaning 
> "ungraded" - i.e., you failed completely.

The only "incomplete" I got was when I went to the wrong class all 
semester. (Well, it was the right class, I just filled out the wrong 
code number when I signed up. :-)

>> Pipe organ recitals!
> LOL! As if anybody is going to care... but sure, I can put that in. ;-)

You know, if the interviewer also plays the organ, you're right in. 
Seriously. It's people.

>> Eighteen year history of .... then list every language you could write 
>> Hello World in. :-)
> 
> Erm, I can see this getting me into trouble. It's unwise to claim 
> extensive experience with something unless you really do *have* that 
> experience.

You only need extensive experience in some of the stuff. "I have 
extensive experience in many languages. I know blah, blah, and blah." 
Say it in a way that implies you have extensive experience in all of 
them, but which can be read to mean you have extensive experience in 
some of them.

What's the worst that happens: They don't hire you.

>> Passion for teaching and mentoring, with a strong track record of 
>> explaining complex topics in understandable ways. Samples available on 
>> request.
> 
> Er, dude... like *what*? :-P

All the posts you've put up here?  About Haskell and everything else?

>> Responsible for keeping the UK computing center operational for 30 
>> staff members using 50 workstations. The systems included four 
>> servers, a local LAN, and Internet connectivity. Responsibilities 
>> included ensuring compliance with extensive government regulations,
> 
> Do I mention the precise regulations in question? In case somebody might 
> have heard of them?

I think you might mention the department or agency that does the 
regulation, if it's something random people outside the agency would 
recognise.

>> saving 8000 via automation in the year they were implemented. <Like 
>> they're going to check that?>
> 
> No, but they're going to quizz me about it, so I'd better have a good 
> story to tell them.

Certainly. :-)

>> Created and maintained computer policies and procedures, documenting 
>> same. Documents were approved and even complimented by the auditors of 
>> <insert company/government agency here>.
> 
> I don't think I'd actually be able to track down exactly which auditors 
> specifically mentioned my documents. 

Well, you know if it was a company, or a government agency, or what, yes?

> What I *could* claim is that the data I produced helped them 
> successfully secure additional government funding. 

There you go.

"Designed, administered, and analyzed a customer satisfaction survey 
that aided in obtaining additional funding from government sources."

> The last two there being particularly relevant for the company I'm about 
> to try to get attention from. (They design stuff like low-end 3D 
> hardware and MPEG decoders.)

There ya go.

>> You can't just say "I did C and Pascal."  You have to say what *you* 
>> did, not what Ritchie and Wirth did. :-) Pretend the person looking at 
>> your resume didn't go to school for computers and doesn't even know 
>> what any of those words mean.
> 
> Whohewho? o_O

http://letmegooglethatforyou.com/?q=wirth

> Maybe I should construct a finite-order Markov model from past 
> successful CVs and use that to auto-generate apparently valid English 
> content? :-D

Why not?

-- 
Darren New / San Diego, CA, USA (PST)

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