> This looks like the kind of thing I could really enjoy doing. Trouble is, 
> I'm not seeing any specific job that I can tick ALL the boxes for.

Hardly anyone can do that.

> In this instance, they seem to be *demanding* actual experience. 
> (Specifically C, C++ and VHDL. None of which I have, but I'm pretty sure I 
> could learn the latter two.)

Exactly.  Make this clear on your CV and letter.  You want them to employ 
you because you are quick at learning new concepts and being able to work 
with them, not because you have 12 years experience in C.

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