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On Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:01:14 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Jim Henderson wrote:
>
>> None of us gets an instruction manual on how to be a parent. All kids
>> are different, so there isn't a "this way works best for everyone". If
>> you do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask (about anything, not
>> just parenting) - those that do, well, they can go f--- themselves.
>
> Yeah, but surely you end up playing that old game of "well if I'd done X
> instead of Y then Z wouldn't have happened and then..."
I've found that "woulda/coulda/shoulda" games are useful only to a
certain extent. That extent is passed when raising kids when a thing has
been done and you've seen the results.
Yeah, we *coulda* previewed the South Park movie before taking him to see
it when he was 10. <shrug> We didn't know much about it then. Turned
out to be one of life's little lessons, but it also didn't permanently
damage him, so no real harm done.
>> Does that mean I don't worry about him? No. That's part of the job of
>> being a parent: being concerned for your child's well-being. Being
>> there for them to support them when things aren't going so well.
>
> How about this: When I was about 3 years old, I walked to the local
> nursry by myself one day. Just found a chair, opened the front door and
> toddled over there. It's about 1 mile and involves crossing a small
> road.
>
> When I got home, my mother was hyperventilating. My mumbled responce of
> "I walked to nursry but it was shut but then a nice man gave me a
> sweety" didn't seem to calm her down.
Well, like I said, good parents are always concerned for their child's
well-being. If your mother was a good parent (and I've no reason to
believe she wasn't), she learned from that experience and did a better
job keeping an eye on you. You seem perhaps a bit overshy and a bit
unsure of yourself, but other than that, you seem to me to be pretty well-
adjusted.
>>> Like I said, a stressful and thankless task. :-(
>>
>> Not at all. Ken turns 21 in a few weeks; he still lives at home (he's
>> at the local university when school's in session), and when I'm working
>> from home, he frequently comes by and gives me a hug for no reason; he
>> still comes in and kisses us goodnight before going to bed.
>
> Heh. I guess because *my* parents were always quite distant I forget
> what it's like to be a normal family...
There is no such thing as a "normal" family. Especially these days. If
you think *my* family is normal, well, you're pretty far off base
there....
Jim
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