> All I know is that when I take a dark image and try to make it brighter, 
> it comes out hopelessly noisy.

That is probably because you took it with a camera that is already 
hopelessly noisy, of course brightening it digitally is just going to 
amplify the noise too.

Try playing about with a better photo, (googling "photo" is a start!), 
darken it by a factor of 4, then lighten it back to its original.  Hardly 
any noise visible.

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