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Hooookay then... So I just decided that I would *finally* apply for a
job with HMGCC. I've been talking about it for long enough!
However, one does not simply email a CV to them. This is HMG, after all!
You must fill in a long, complex online application form. And some of
the fields really aren't very clearly labelled.
"If you are British or naturalised, please state the certificate number:"
Er... what?
Anyway, they want to know some pretty serious stuff - where were you
born, have you been outside the country in the last 10 years, do you
have a girlfriend, what is your national insurance number, etc. It's
taken ages just to fill out all the information.
After all that, it seems I can't actually apply anyway!
An application is not processed until ALL fields have been completed.
This causes a problem for me on two counts.
First, I don't have any references - and they want two of 'em. I *would*
have put my boss, but he recently left the company. I would have put our
site manager, but he recently left too. The new management team can't
even remember my name. No point having them for references! I might also
have said my uni lecturers - you know, if the uni hadn't shut down as
soon as I graduated...
Second, they have a selection of questions of the form "describe a time
when you did X". Mostly for values of X where the set of suitable
examples is empty. o_O
Actually, I'd just like to walk through this set, because it seems to be
a popular sort of thing for employers to ask...
1. Describe a time when you worked with others to solve a complex problem.
Um... OK. What do you say to this one? I mean, if you happen to work for
a company that designs complex products and you're on the design team,
this should be a cakewalk. But otherwise? I mean, when was the last time
YOU solved a complex problem? (Never mind with other people.)
Suffice it to say, I can't think of a single example for this. I've
never *met* anybody (apart from me) who knows the difference between a
Fourier transform and a Laplace transform. Any remotely complex problems
I might have solved have been solved by me and me alone.
2. Please describe an example of when you delivered a high quality piece
of work that you were proud of.
Hmm, this is hard. Usually when I deliver something, all I can think
about is how badly it sucks and how I should have done much better...
but maybe I can find something for this one.
3. Give an example of when you tacked an unfamiliar problem or task, and
how you learned something new.
Do I tell them about the time I spent 2 days writing out the binomial
expansions of powers up to 9 by longhand algebra and thereby derived a
special case of the binomial theorum from first principles? Or should I
write something about the time when I tried to build a parser for my
computer-aided algebra system, and ended up inventing Dijkstra's
shunting algorithm? Either way, I highly doubt anybody will be
impressed. After all, reinventing obscure mathematics hardly counts as
"solving" a "problem"...
4. Please describe a time when you took on a task that illustrates your
active interest in this area of work and allowed you to develop new skills.
Uuuhhhh... Well I can tell you all mannar of things I've learned out of
pure curiosity. But things I learned because of attempting to perform a
specific "task"?
...nope, I'm comming up blank here...
--
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*
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