Hooookay then... So I just decided that I would *finally* apply for a 
job with HMGCC. I've been talking about it for long enough!

However, one does not simply email a CV to them. This is HMG, after all! 
You must fill in a long, complex online application form. And some of 
the fields really aren't very clearly labelled.

"If you are British or naturalised, please state the certificate number:"

Er... what?

Anyway, they want to know some pretty serious stuff - where were you 
born, have you been outside the country in the last 10 years, do you 
have a girlfriend, what is your national insurance number, etc. It's 
taken ages just to fill out all the information.

After all that, it seems I can't actually apply anyway!

An application is not processed until ALL fields have been completed. 
This causes a problem for me on two counts.

First, I don't have any references - and they want two of 'em. I *would* 
have put my boss, but he recently left the company. I would have put our 
site manager, but he recently left too. The new management team can't 
even remember my name. No point having them for references! I might also 
have said my uni lecturers - you know, if the uni hadn't shut down as 
soon as I graduated...

Second, they have a selection of questions of the form "describe a time 
when you did X". Mostly for values of X where the set of suitable 
examples is empty. o_O

Actually, I'd just like to walk through this set, because it seems to be 
a popular sort of thing for employers to ask...



1. Describe a time when you worked with others to solve a complex problem.

Um... OK. What do you say to this one? I mean, if you happen to work for 
a company that designs complex products and you're on the design team, 
this should be a cakewalk. But otherwise? I mean, when was the last time 
YOU solved a complex problem? (Never mind with other people.)

Suffice it to say, I can't think of a single example for this. I've 
never *met* anybody (apart from me) who knows the difference between a 
Fourier transform and a Laplace transform. Any remotely complex problems 
I might have solved have been solved by me and me alone.



2. Please describe an example of when you delivered a high quality piece 
of work that you were proud of.

Hmm, this is hard. Usually when I deliver something, all I can think 
about is how badly it sucks and how I should have done much better... 
but maybe I can find something for this one.



3. Give an example of when you tacked an unfamiliar problem or task, and 
how you learned something new.

Do I tell them about the time I spent 2 days writing out the binomial 
expansions of powers up to 9 by longhand algebra and thereby derived a 
special case of the binomial theorum from first principles? Or should I 
write something about the time when I tried to build a parser for my 
computer-aided algebra system, and ended up inventing Dijkstra's 
shunting algorithm? Either way, I highly doubt anybody will be 
impressed. After all, reinventing obscure mathematics hardly counts as 
"solving" a "problem"...


4. Please describe a time when you took on a task that illustrates your 
active interest in this area of work and allowed you to develop new skills.

Uuuhhhh... Well I can tell you all mannar of things I've learned out of 
pure curiosity. But things I learned because of attempting to perform a 
specific "task"?

...nope, I'm comming up blank here...

-- 
http://blog.orphi.me.uk/
http://www.zazzle.com/MathematicalOrchid*

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